Frame size? Huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Frame size? Huh?
41
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 5:35pm
So I go see a dr. at a clinic today and I mentioned to him that my goal weight is 150 lbs. I LOVE the way I looked at 150 and that was my healthiest time in my life! The only visible picture of me in my house is one of me at that weight.

This guy said that I am extremely obese (duh) and I need to cut down to 1000 calories a day and less than 11 grams of fat, and that I need to walk obsessively. I told him I eat between 1000 and 2000 cals a day, and I am trying to make it les than 30% fat. He said 1000 should be my goal, and that for my ht. I should aim for 120 lbs as a goal. I told him that I thought that was too little because I have a large frame and he told me that "large frame" and "big boned" are terms made up by fat people so they can live with themselves. First of all, I was insulted. Second of all, I have always thought frame size mattered. I have broad shoulders and my chest only sticks out 3 inches farther than my rib cage! My wrists are large as well. My best friend is my height and her ribs are HALF as large (front to back) as mine are. She weighs 120 and looks like a model...albeit a short one. If I weighed 120 I think I would look grotesque! Does that make sense? Or am I deluding myself and I really should try to get down to 120?

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 5:40pm
Although, on a positive note, even though I was way oversensitive to the dr. and his attitude toward me (he commented that obesity is no more a disease than illiteracy- the person suffering from it could fix it but choose to remain fat or stupid!) and ended up crying in the car, I DID NOT stop and get something to eat on the way home as was my coping mechanism before. I pass every restaurant in town between here and there (small town- they're on the same road!) and my only stop was at the gas station to buy a water and gas.

So even though I am upset, I managed to kick the craving comfort beast in the chops. That makes me feel better a little.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-1999
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 5:45pm
I think you should get down to what weight YOU like and what weight YOU feel comfortable with. What I do is use a BMI (Body Mass Index) calculator and if it tells you that 150 pounds is suitable...then go for it!!

I would surely hate to be that guys wife. Guys generally like their women tiny. Most of my guy friends have liked the athletic type look on women. That's what I'm aiming for. I have a big chest, tiny waist and big hips and I will never look good tiny. If I didn't strive for the athletic look and went for the skinny look, I would look ridiculous!

Use YOUR judgement. It's you that has to make yourself happy, what your doctor says isn't going to make you happy. Keep your chin up and stand up for what you believe in (not saying you don't already).

~Dana

Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 6:19pm
Your doctor is terribly misinformed.

First of all, 1000 calories a day? Too low. 1200 calories is usually the MINIMUM doctors and dietitians will recommend for safe, effective, and permanent weight loss. Second of all, there is such a thing as frame size. Here's you determine it:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/17182.htm

Notice who published that website: the National Institute of Health. I highly doubt that the NIH is an organization of fat people trying to make themselves feel better.

I think you should go to a dietitian or get another doctor. No doctor should ever make you feel the way he did. When you're trying to lose weight, you need a supportive health care professional who can give you good, accurate advice and steer you in the right direction. Good luck, and hope you're feeling better soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 6:30pm
That DOES make me feel better! My wrist size is 7.75 and I am 5'3! This guy was an older guy- the kind who thinks the 50s were the best time in history and wants to live there.....the only nod of approval the man gave me in spite of my excellent blood pressure, 30 lbs lost, etc was that I am a SAHM.

Sheesh. I will be seeing the reg woman I love next time. This guy really made me feel bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 7:02pm

Mel,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 7:11pm

Mel........there are doctors and then there are QUACKS!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 7:15pm
Find a new doctor, one with a less-android-like bedside manner.

Blessings,

S_C

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 2:23am
and another thing I thought of as I was about to dose off tonight ... you said this was a clinic. If this is a doctor you HAVE to see in the future (for financial/insurance coverage reasons), ask a nurse for his first name and make a habit of calling him by it.

Some men in power positions always call women by their first names -- even if those women are doctors, lawyers or even just "Mrs." in their own right. It is a linguistical way of "powering up" one bar above another person.

If this guy wants to hit you where it hurts, hit him back in his ego. That's apparently his weak spot -- since to build himself up he feels it necessary to put you down. He won't even realize why he is bothered by it until late at night when he is trying to go to sleep.

If he does happen to clue in and says, "that's Dr." so-n-so to you. Counter with "well I am Mrs." so-n-so to him AND MEAN IT. I guarantee you will cause a speed bump in his preconceived idea of you as a person. And his language will follow suit.

Blessings,

S_C

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 4:58am

Sphere collector.....GREAT SUGGESTION!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 5:07pm
Mel,

You are NOT crazy or deluding yourself. Don't feel bad...you are in the same situation I am...well a little different. All my life I've been large. My wrist is almost 8 inches. I weigh about 309 and have been trying to lose weight forever. Get this: the reason I weigh this much and have a VERY screwed up metabolism is because of a jerk doctor just like the one you described. When I was 12, I was 5'3" and weighed 160. I was very active in TaeKwonDo, swimming, and dance. I was heavy, yes. But fat, no. In reality, the doctor thought he'd show me and my family what a disgrace my weight was by sending me to the "fat clinic" to have my body fat percentage checked. When he did this, I was actually at the low end of normal. He still insisted that the weight chart was supreme and I needed to lose 40 pounds. So, guess what? I did lose 40 pounds by starving myself. I was very stubborn and ill-willed toward him. When I reached 120, I looked like a gaunt, ugly little girl. My big bones (oh, sorry, yes there is such a thing) were sticking out all over the place and I looked disgusting. Well, needless to say, I had no energy and went into a deep depression (my mom passed away too at the time). I ended up gaining all the weight back...actually I doubled in in the time it took to double my age (from 12 to 25). I'm now slightly over 300 pounds. My thyroid completely shut down. My basal metabolism went from high to very low because of what I did. To this day, I have no idea how to eat to lose weight because if I eat normal I gain. If I eat less, I stay the same. If I eat more, I lose, but then gain. My body is completely screwed up. PLEASE be who you are and feel comfortable with that. If I had just accepted myself, I'd probably still be my size 10 self as I was at 12 years old. He felt that I was a size 10 and too large...remember, the big bones are just lies we're told to feel good about ourselves. Yeah right. If 150 makes you look and feel good, so be it. My goal again is 160 believe it or not!!! I'm hoping to gain muscle, which of course, weighs more anyway. Something's got to give to get this weight off. Be who you are because that's okay. :)

~Shannon

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