Frame size? Huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Frame size? Huh?
41
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 5:35pm
So I go see a dr. at a clinic today and I mentioned to him that my goal weight is 150 lbs. I LOVE the way I looked at 150 and that was my healthiest time in my life! The only visible picture of me in my house is one of me at that weight.

This guy said that I am extremely obese (duh) and I need to cut down to 1000 calories a day and less than 11 grams of fat, and that I need to walk obsessively. I told him I eat between 1000 and 2000 cals a day, and I am trying to make it les than 30% fat. He said 1000 should be my goal, and that for my ht. I should aim for 120 lbs as a goal. I told him that I thought that was too little because I have a large frame and he told me that "large frame" and "big boned" are terms made up by fat people so they can live with themselves. First of all, I was insulted. Second of all, I have always thought frame size mattered. I have broad shoulders and my chest only sticks out 3 inches farther than my rib cage! My wrists are large as well. My best friend is my height and her ribs are HALF as large (front to back) as mine are. She weighs 120 and looks like a model...albeit a short one. If I weighed 120 I think I would look grotesque! Does that make sense? Or am I deluding myself and I really should try to get down to 120?

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 9:05pm
Insurance height/weight charts show a female who is 5 ft 3 in should be under 150 lbs, even with large bone structure. The weight range is 111 lbs to 147 lbs and that's with 2 lbs of clothing on and shoes too.

So the doctor was right on target, no matter what bone structure you claim. And 1,000 calories for someone that overweight is about right too. If a person has only a couple pounds to lose, then a 1,500 calorie diet makes sense. But when a person is very obese, then the weight jeopradizes life in the extreme and it's far more important to get the weight off safely, and quickly. In fact, if you look at what doctors have bariatric patients on, they eat only 4-600 calories a day because it's far more important to get that fat off. A person who is very obese and not having surgery often diets at 8 or 9 hundred calories under doctor's supervision.

He was just telling you the truth. It's important for a fat person to lose the weight, and do it safely but quickly, because every day spent very obese is one more day when you jeopradize your life. And 10 percent fat intake is reasonable too, when you have that much to lose. A normal non-dieting person shouldn't eat more than 30 percent fat, and no more than 7 percent of that saturated.

Don't get upset with the messenger. You don't have to follow his advice if you don't want to. But sounds like the man was just telling you the truth, and trying to help you out.

The rest, where some poster told you to get even with the doctor by using his first name...well, that's just childish stupidity, and I'm sure he could care less whether you use his first or last name or call him doctor or hey you. He was just there to help you to help yourself, and I personally think you took it all wrong.

You should probably help yourself, by following the doctor's advice to the letter IMO. But of course, it's your business whether you do or don't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 12:01am
Welcome to the board weihnachtsmann.

I do not believe that my post was "childish." It is obvious from everyday living, talking and even reading this board that the WAY a person says or types something has a great deal to do with the MANNER in which the message is interpreted by the receiver of the message.

People can easily prove that theory simply by reading this message board to see which posts are written in a supportive way and which are written with some other agenda.

If that doesn't work, there's over 2000 years of study in rhetoric and oration and a couple of hundred in linguistics to disprove the "childish" statement.

However, you are as welcome to your opinion as I am to mine.

In the meantime -- back to the topic at hand -- Melody, I am sorry you met with a doctor who possesses what appears to be a very poor bedside manner. I hope you find a more supportive professional with whom to do business and trust your health. In addition, I would worry about the next 10 pounds, not the 150 or 120, so you don't stress out at the enormity of it all.

Blessings to you Melody,

S_C

P.S. Now, if you will excuse me, my cats are begging for canned troll. They haven't had any in a while.


Edited 12/21/2003 12:12:16 AM ET by sphere_collector

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 1:20am
Make sure they eat all the troll and lick the can...makes the room smell
Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 3:40am
I don't understand why it would be necessary to first recommend a Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD) for a patient who is not yet experiencing hypertension, diabetes, or debilitating arthritis.

You do realize that doctor prescribed VLCDs--for the most obese patients--are specially designed liquid meal replacements? I hope you realize that doctors that prescribe VLCDs usually do so because (1) they have specialized training in treating obesity and (2) other weight loss methods have failed? I hope you realize that what this doctor was recommending (mere calorie reduction) is very different from a highly controlled low calorie diet that supplies adequate nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. Finally, JAMA's study on VLCDs stated "Long-term maintenance of weight lost with VLCDs is not very satisfactory and is no better than with other forms of obesity treatment. Incorporation of behavioral therapy and physical activity in VLCD treatment programs seems to improve maintenance."

The OP is trying to lose weight safely and slowly, which increases the likelihood that she will keep the weight off permanently. She has the right to receive good medical advice in pursuit of that goal. Unless the clinic doctor who treated her is trained to deal specifically with obesity and weight loss methods, he has no business offering her advice that is at best a misguided effort at honesty and at worse potentially dangerous and counterproductive to her weight loss efforts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 8:48am

Welcome to the boards!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 12:42pm
Hello, Weihnachtsmann.

Let me clear up a few things, because I think it's really important that I do so. My initial reaction was simply to ignore you, but I really can't do that because I am at a point in my life where I don't simply take things and let them live inside me and hurt me anymore. I KNOW that I am sometimes oversensitive- as evidenced by my affinity for coffee commercials- but I also KNOW when someone is talking down to me. And I know I don't have to let it go unanswered because I AM an intelligent woman.

But before I say anything I must defend S_C. I don't believe she was childish AT ALL. In fact, I don't know if you know this about women, but women who are intelligent, thoughtful, supportive and all-around wonderful people are FIERCE when they feel that someone has somehow wronged someone they care about, even in passing. I care about all of the women on this board because we share a common goal and heartache, and I believe S_C feels the same. Someone saying that I should even the playing field with a man who obviously looks at me as though I haven't the sense of a slug is NOT playing on an even field. AND, she made me smile with her post, which is something that I don't think enough people put importance on. Laughing can cure MANY things, including the tears and sadness that were going on in my head and threatening to sabotage me that day.

I am a reasonably active person. I have two young children and a husband, not to mention my responsibilities to other family members, and I exercise daily. I eat responsibly according to the plan that works with my hypothyroidism and PCOS and I use this board for motivation and hope and inspiration. I believe that's a large portion of "helping myself".

The dr. was NOT "right on target, no matter what bone structure you claim". For large bone structure I read from mutliple sources that 131-147 should be my target. That's 11 lbs more at the minimum than he told me I should weigh. Several pounds difference between that and the 3 lbs difference I am shooting for between my goal and the max ideal.

I have lost 40 lbs since this summer. I have done it safely and responsibly as opposed to crash dieting which, many can tell you, doesn't work in the long run. It's not safe for your heart to have to yo-yo diet either. Oh, and for the record, I have excellent cholesterol and blood pressure for a woman my age, in spite of my weight. That is a goal I work long and hard on because ALL of my relatives have problems with blood pressure and cholesterol. I guess I must be doing something right!

I hope you have a lovely holiday, Weihnachtsmann, whatever you may or may not celebrate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 3:27pm
Yes, I think you were being over-sensitive. First to what the doctor told you, and then to my post which agrees with him.

When a person is very obese, it can be a matter of life and death or at least a matter of quality of life. Many doctors recommend patients eat under 1,000 calories per day when they are as obese as you describe yourself. And the man had you in his office, so he'd have a better idea of your "frame size" then posters would, even from your picture. The doctor feels your ideal weight would be around 120 lbs, that your "frame size" is not oversize but just your weight is out of bounds, and that it's important for you to not fiddle around with it. That's what I'm getting from your post about the visit to his office.

And as I said, he's not forcing you to follow his medical advice. You can completely ignore him and dive into a hot fudge sundae every day for the next year, heck ten sundaes if you please. It's not going to hurt his quality of life any, but it will hurt yours.

Why get upset with the messenger for telling you the truth? Did you expect to go into a doctor's office and commiserate with him, perhaps have him tell you that it wasn't so bad, or that obesity was some disease? The man told you the truth. Obesity is not a disease. It's the result of eating too much, eating the wrong things, and exercising too little. So he recommended, wisely and professionally, that your target weight at 5ft 3 inches should be about 120 lbs. And he told you to start walking for exercise, regularly. That's very good advice. Whether you CHOOSE to follow it, or not, is entirely up to you. But I'm with the doctor on this one. You are only 26 years old, you say. And you weight nearly 300 lbs (270 + or -?). Do you have any idea how you can set yourself up for diseases including diabetes and heart disease and kidney failure and certain cancers if you don't take better care of yourself and listen to the doctor? My gosh, woman, you could shorten your lifespan by many years if you keep gaining weight at this rate. And in the meantime, you are robbing yourself of a lot of the fun of life just because your weight will keep you from doing certain things, or from feeling up to joining in.

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. And the doctor wasn't trying to hurt your feelings either. He was just being a doctor, and telling you the truth. What part of that is so hard for you to understand?

And yes, anyone who tells you to play games with the doctor's name is not in touch with reality, or is playing some very foolish and childish games. What would you hope to accomplish by that sort of nonsense? Zip. The doctor merely tells it like it is. He wants you to eat wisely, exercise wisely, and get healthy. But he's not going to lose any sleep because you call him by his first name, for gosh sakes! Doctors deal with real people SOMEof whom REALLY want help , and are REALLY willing to HELP THEMSELVES. I imagine the doctor would sooner lose a night's sleep because a patient was in intensive care, or had died before her time. He sure the heck won't stay awake nights because some woman who tips the scale at almost 300 lbs wants to call him by his first name, out of spite. That is childish, and it is foolish for anyone to even suggest such a thing to you. How does that help you any, eh? It doesn't.

Don't blame other people for your weight problem. The doctor didn't do it. He was trying to help you. Maybe you should have been less defensive, and listened carefully to his professional expertise and suggestions which COULD HAVE helped! But doctors have lots of patients, especially clinic doctors, and he's not going to lose any sleep over you if you choose not to listen to him and instead decide to get testy with him for offering to help.

Good luck to you. And I hope you decide to lose the weight safely, and to listen to the doctor.




Edited 12/21/2003 3:33:22 PM ET by weihnachtsmann

Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 5:08pm
You are so ignorant it's almost laughable. You have ignored what the OP actually wrote in her two posts about her weight loss and her weight loss goals. A woman who has lost 40 pounds in a year while dealing with medical issues like hypothrydoism and PCOS is doing well. Her doctor didn't know what he was talking about and neither do you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 5:37pm
Excuse me, but it seems you must be talking about yourself as that description more nearly fits you! Now you claim to know more than a doctor? Now you want to talk about laughable. Obviously the doctor didn't think she was doing such a fine job, but of course you know more than a medical doctor!

Here, right back atcha since you seem to be talking about yourself. You wrote,

>>113837.19 in response to 113837.18

from: jess9802

to: weihnachtsmann

date: 5:08 pm

replies: 19

You are so ignorant it's almost laughable. You have ignored what the OP actually wrote in her two posts about her weight loss and her weight loss goals. A woman who has lost 40 pounds in a year while dealing with medical issues like hypothrydoism and PCOS is doing well. Her doctor didn't know what he was talking about and neither do you. <<

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 6:43pm
Weihnnnny, this is a SUPPORT board. Did you need some of that or are you making a sudden appearance out of nowhere with no introduction and with only harsh opinions for some other alternative?

If being supportive is not your agenda, please feel free to voice your opinions on another board where they may be found more helpful.

Blessings,

S_C