Uh-oh The I Don't Care Invasion
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Uh-oh The I Don't Care Invasion
| Tue, 01-20-2004 - 9:19pm |
Ok......so in case no one's noticed......I've kinda been avoiding posting anything unless it's a response to a post lol.

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Man, you guys have no idea how much you all mean to me.
I didn't post before because I thought the other ladies were saying what I wanted to, and honestly they were saying it better than I could. But I have to chime in here.
I know how it feels to hate your reflection. I know how it feels to look in the mirror and hear the voice in your head sigh in disgust. I have dealt with, and mostly eaten through, feeling like I wasn't good enough my whole life. In school I had excellent grades and honors classes and secretly feared one day they'd realize I was a fraud and didn't deserve their accolades. I played clarinet very well and just KNEW they'd realize I wasn't first chair material. I played volleyball and KNEW they would someday get rid of me because I wasn't a great server after all. I knew with exceptional certainty and clarity that I didn't deserve any of the goodness in my life, and that no matter how hard I worked I never could. No matter how good I was at anything, I NEVER saw it. I knew I was a screw-up and was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
That's no way to live.
WE deserve to look in the mirror and hear our inner voice cheer. We deserve to pass a storefront window and think to ourselves GOOD things. We deserve to feel good about ourselves.
YOU are an amazing person. You devote time and energy to the women on this board and that's a wonderful thing. Your website shows your progress, and MAN it's great! I have been there with the thoughts you're having. I know they hurt and that they seem to echo forever. Just don't let them win. Soon enough (Okay, it's NEVER soon enough! LOL! :-) ) you will reach these goals and it will go a long way towards healing your heart.
Hugs
Mel
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