OT: Need to vent...

Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
OT: Need to vent...
24
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 11:20pm
My life has been a little crazy since Sunday, and I'm starting to feel myself stress out. I spoke to my parents Sunday night, and they informed me that they've decided to file for bankruptcy, hopefully by the end of this week. I'm not surprised, but I didn't expect it to happen so suddenly. I don't think they did, either. My dad lost a full-time job (with benefits) nearly two years ago, and since then he's been working side jobs. My mom has had two major surgeries, and she's just finishing up her disability leave. Right now they have very little cash, if any, and they need to pay the attorney before they can file. So my dad asked me if I could lend him some money. I have no idea when he'd be able to pay me back, but I feel AWFUL for not just sending them a check.

Geez, it's not like I'm not stressed out about money as it is. I'm in law school, I haven't worked since August of 2002 (when I started), and I'm living on financial aid, which doesn't go very far. I had serious car problems over Christmas break. I paid $220 in cash; put the other $270 on my credit cards; and my parents chipped in the other $245 (with the expectation that I would pay them back when I got a job). I'm holding my breath that something else doesn't go wrong with my car, counting my pennies, and cutting coupons. I have $600 of available credit left on my credit cards, and if I'm careful, I will have about $60 left in the bank after finals wrap up in mid-May.

Last summer I went to summer school for eight weeks, lived off financial aid, and took a short term loan from the univ. when the financial aid ran out. I can't take an eight week course this year, so the most I could get for living expenses is five weeks, and that's if I take out MORE student loans for tuition. I have also been told by Career Services and a professor that I HAVE to have a legal job this summer, and I should volunteer if I have to and get a part-time non-legal job. Riiight. Apparently, having a legal job on my resume is more important than worrying about things like eviction or being turned over to collections. I've applied for two jobs and have yet to hear anything. One would require commuting 60 miles one way this summer, but it would be a full 40 hours. The other is only 30 hours a week, but it's in town, and since it's a private firm, it probably pays better. I'd love to have it! But I'm trying not to get too excited about it; my grades are not that much above average and lots of us are still looking for work.

I'm just worrying myself sick about everything. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I'm so exhausted from homework that I haven't had time to go to the gym since Saturday. So if anyone wants to send "positive job vibes"/prayers my way, I'd really appreciate it. Sorry to unload on everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 2:04pm
My two cents. Since your parents gave you "the other $245" around Christmas with some expectation of payback, and since they are in financial difficulty now, I think you really should pay them that money back. If you can't just whip out your checkbook and pay it today, then sell something or even work at McDonalds for the next couple weeks. But whatever it is, you owe them the money and they need at least that now...and so, you have an obligation to get it done right away.

Their bankruptsy isn't your problem. But your "living on financial aid" isn't their problem. The only issue here, which is your immediate problem, is that some people you got money from in December NEED to at least have that back right now. And you owe it right now, when they need it most. Same thing if they were strangers, or a bank. They are calling in the loan, right? It's due. Pay it. How you come up with the money isn'their problem. Just do it.

Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 5:14pm
I cannot take a job right now. I have nothing to sell. And when I borrowed the money from my parents it was with the express agreement that I would pay them back when I had a full time job this summer.

But thanks for the (unsolicited) advice anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 8:30pm

Big hugs to you Jess.........that's alot of stress to be under.

 
Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 9:07pm
After this year I only have one year left of law school, so I should be working full-time by Oct. of 2005. After living off of $7000 a year for the last two years, a $45,000-50,000 salary should be plenty (even with student loans).

Thanks (and again, thank you to those who responded with positive words of support). My parents understand how tight things are for me, and how I can't just go out and get a job to earn the money. I offered to send them $75 or so, and they said no, that I could wait. My mom goes back to work on Monday, and since they're not going to be paying any of their bills, they should be able to pay their attorney part of the cost of the filing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 3:02pm
Well, you NEED to take a job right now or sell something. You owe these people money, and they need to have it. Since you say you're studying to become a lawyer, perhaps you know if they file for bankruptsy then they have to list everyone who owes them money and the court will REQUIRE you to pay them immediately so it can go into the till to pay back some of their debts. Since these people are your parents, you'd think that you would move heaven and earth to earn that little bit of money to help them out BEFORE they have to file and are required to list you. Earning under $300 and a grunt job, a few nights at a temporary McDonalds job for instance, isn't all that hard to do. AND YOU OWE THE MONEY. So stop making excuses, and pay those poor people what you owe them. Some things can't wait for summer. Take some of the time you spend on computer playing around, and put it to use working a few hours....just long enough to pay off your debt. The court won't wait till summer to collect that from you.....but why should it even have to come to that? You owe it, plain and simple. So pay it, and be quick about it. Those people are your parents!
Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 3:17pm
You have a marked reading comprehension problem. I CANNOT WORK. I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO SELL. AND I NEVER ASKED FOR ADVICE. And you're just plain wrong about the bankruptcy filing process.


Edited 2/14/2004 3:27:32 PM ET by jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 12:50pm
I'm pretty sure the subject of this post is "OT: Need to vent..." and not "OT: Need unsolicited advice". Maybe you are new and are unsure of the purpose of this board but it is to offer SUPPORT not to tell others what you think they should do with
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 1:15pm

Apparently there are people in the world whose lives are perfect.

 
Avatar for aprilmomagain
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 3:48pm
((Jess))

I'm just kind of reading things hodgepodge right now but I came across this one.

Believe it or not, I was in your shoes!! I have lived there! It's not fun, that's for sure.

As far as getting a job in the legal field, that's definitely a good idea. Even if it's law clerking for someone, or volunteering a day or two out of the week for the prosecuters office or the public defender's office, or even a legal aid clinic in your area. Does your state offer the same thing they did when I was in school? I went to school in Chicago, and we were allowed to get a "711" license, which is a license to practice law while a student. You need to be working for a public agency, and you can use your license under the supervision of someone with a licenes. I worked for the State's Attorney's Office of Child Support Enforcement. It didn't pay well ($12/hour) but the recommendations I got upon graduation secured me a job there when I graduated. Now I didn't end up passing the bar exam, so I decided to move to MN, and had kids, but that's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY.

The one suggestion I can give you is DON'T LIVE OFF FINANCIAL AID. I can't tell you how many times a day I get calls from the Law Access people. They are RELENTLESS. They don't care what your situation is. They'll give you $150,000 for law school (I went to a private law school, so it was expensive, and I used their $$ for living expenses), and then they'll hound you and charge you up the wazoo for interest if you go behind. At least with the feds I can be in forebearance, etc. But now trying to get a house was a pain int he butt, because I had unsecured debt up to my eyelashes!!

If you want to talk, I'd love to chat with you. I can be reached at Bridgetsmommy@msn.com.

Good Luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:09am
Hey Jess - Oh boy, have I been there too! Glad you are having a better day and sometimes things look a little brighter after a nights sleep (if you are getting any). It must be very uncomfortable to have your parents pinned in that position and they must feel mortified at being there. All I can say is it WILL get better. It will.

Hang in there,

Amy