what do you do.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
what do you do.....
9
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 11:28am
When you find out that your closest friend is a lesbian!!! Im totally all for gay rights and freedom to be who you want to be but I feel really left out of the loop because apparently Im the last one to know!!!

We have been friends for most of our livws (22 yrs), we went to the same school, dated friends...prom....Europe together...she was maid of honour for my wedding.....best best friends...or so I thought. i feel really upset right now, I mean I wish she could have told me sooner I actually dont know how to even comprehend the information right now...oh God and I ve just given in to eating alot of bad stuff...I have to get back on track...

Thanks for letting me vent...Im sooo confused right now

Karen xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 11:35am
Karen, maybe she didnt tell you because she was worried about how it would effect your relationship with her or she didnt know what your stance would be on it.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 11:39am

First, calm down! Breath in and breath out....


Ok, so your friend is a lesbian. She is still your friend. She just, uh, does things a little differently than you in the bedroom! Think of it like that. She is probally really worried that you may reject her. She took a big chance in "coming out". Most people who are gay stay in the closet for years, sometimes all their lives because they don't want to risk being ostrasized by their loved ones.


I know what I 'm talking about. I have several gay friends and they are people too. They laugh, cry, celebrate, and have feelings too. The best thing you can do (after your shock wears off) is to tell her that you accept her and that she is still your friend.


Hugs to you!


Deb 270/228/145ish  (updated 4/19/04. Next weigh-in: 6/1/04)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 11:45am
Thanks for the hug Shawna I really needed it:o). You know I love her to bits no matter what and I reallt hope our relationship stays the same as its always been......its weird though she was always the one to point out the guys...I hope she finds the perfect person for her...shes such a great girl.

Thanks again for the support your really an awesome inspiration

Karen xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 11:51am
Thanks Palomino girl....your sooooo right!

xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 12:16pm
I can understand why you would feel hurt- that she didn't feel she could confide this little tidbit to you. But there must have been a reason for her secrecy. Was she afraid that you wouldn't accept who she is? Had you ever made negative comments about lesbianism? Is that a word? People keep secrets for lots of reasons. Maybe she just wasn't comfortable with herself. Have you asked her or told her how hurt you are by this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 12:21pm

OK...... since divine told me that I'm the lesbian of the board and I'm supposed to respond to this .... here goes!!! ROFL....


First of all ..... don't take it personally.

 
 
 
 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 1:18pm
I did not say you were the lesbian of the board, I said you were The Board Lesbian.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 2:25pm
I will give her a huge hug when I see her to night. You really made me understand the situation Gothratty...thanks. It made me feel alot better. She says she didnt tell me because of all the reasons you posted...terrified of losing a friend, the poor thing is devasted now because her twin sister is disgusted at her, they are total opposites and are not very close which is surprising I think for twins. Her sister thinks shes looking fot attention!!!! What does that mean!

Im really proud of her and Im glad that I know but I must admit Ive been thinking alot today about the past and times when we hung out alot and theres lots of info thats making more sense....eg...she always wanted to stay late at school on certain days with a certain teacher for a chat or coffee....I always found that strange but she says it was her first real crush on someone, just little things popping into my mind...it must have been sooo hard for her, I cant even begin to imagine what it is like.

Karen xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 2:42pm
That happens alot clover ...... people will just say "oh this is just a phase, you just want to become gay because you want the attention ..." blah blah blah LOL, but all