Karrie and the Self-Esteem Issue
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| Thu, 03-04-2004 - 3:25pm |
My mother..lol...that is sad. I had to deal with that at home, and of course at school too with everyone calling me fat..kids are so sweet aren't they? And so, I started being with whoever when I turned 17. I started having sex w/ anyone who would 'have me'. I am very happy you decided to stay celibate til marriage. That is something to be really happy about b/c I felt like crap for so long, I wanted any kind of attention I could get from men....and then when I met Roger...it's completely different...and sometimes I feel like I should apologize for not having sex with him every day b/c I am so used to being wanted only for that, that I feel guilty. But he told me something that I love...
"Baby, I like you for sex...but I love you for who you are. It doesn't matter to me if we stopped and waited til we got married, even now" That made me feel so good...he said that when I was falling asleep at 2:30 am after Valentine's Day, when I said we'd stay up all night(SORRY TMI), and I apologized about it...which is sad, no normal girl would do that...but i did b/c i was insecure about it.
But when someone cares about you, they don't care what you look like, they don't care what you do for them, all they want is to do things for you and love you and to have you return their love. That is all that matters to my b/f. We have it really hard b/c we are in an LDR until September when we will be moving to the same town..and trust is a really big thing in an LDR...and I know that he used to be a wolf LOL, but he's not anymore b/c he loves me. He has gone to strip clubs, and looked at other women, granted, but I told him to. I don't want to keep him home all the time. I was at my house, he was at his, and he said his friends were all going out, but he wasn't, he was just gonna stay and talk to me on the phone...and he's 22, not married, why shouldn't he go? I don't care, b/c I know that I trust his every move and he will always come home to me when its all over....he's not gonna go to someone else...
And the point is...well...I am fat. He doesn't care at all. He tells me I have beautiful everything; legs, lips, hips, tummy, BUTT????(i don't get that one), and everything else...he loves every part of me, and it took a while to accept it, but now I do and that is what you have to do.
Who cares what your grampa said, he was the one with the problem ...NOT YOU!!! You are one of the greatest chicks I've ever talked to, you crack me up, and you are gorgeous girl!!!
So chin up and take all the compliments that he dishes out!!!
Sara

You are right and the more I read from ya'll the more I am becoming better about it and letting it go and getting back to normal. The day he met me after 15 mins of talking he wouldn't let go of my hand. I truly believe him when he says I lit the room up when I walked in. It is just harder to hear positive and complimentry things about the fluff mobile.
I think when I talk to him today it will open different doors. Now if I can just get him to realize that I am not that sweet and innocent and damn it I do have a temper. :)