Sorry I haven't been on. Had some stuff happen this week.
Me and the girl I was dating broke up. It was sort of mutual. She was going through a divorce, and one day she wanted to talk to me, and the next she didn't. That went on for two months. I couldn't figure out where we were going. I wanted to leave the option open for a future relationship, but she just wanted to be friends. That's OK. I don't blame her, I can imagine that a divorce takes a toll on someone. I'm really at peace with it. It still hurts, and she has been all I thought about for the past week, but that's subsiding. I feel I'm getting back to normal. I still miss her though.
Anyway, I've learned some things. I did learn that I would like children someday. I've also learned not to take rejection so personally. Fear of rejection caused me not to have a relationship for 8 and half years. I don't want to wait until I'm 34 before I have another girlfriend. There are a few others, but I won't list them.
Anyway, I've been comtemplating online dating. I might try that out. I'm not a club/bar type person, and small-town America has limitations on where you can go to meet people.
Well, I guess since the saga is over, I can finally refocus on my graduate work. And get back on track with the diet. I will admit, I have been binging for the past couple of weeks, but I think that is coming to an end. I've gotten better today.
I also can refocus at work. I've been slacking off alot lately, and just generally haven't cared about anything (even myself). It was brought to my attention today that people are starting to notice. Of course I knew I was slacking off, but I just couldn't figure out why no one said anything. I just figured that no one cared, and it made it that much easier to slack off more. Funny thing is, I always thought you had to be on alcohol or drugs to really start screwing up. I'm addicted to neither, but I guess it was all the apathy I've been feeling lately. By lately, I mean the past three years.
Anyway, I have learned that I need to love myself before I can love anyone else, and I guess I have alot of making up to do with myself. I've really hated myself since I was 10. Everyone else liked me, but I just felt fat and unworthy of love.
Anyway, I'd better go. I've got to work on some stuff before bed.
Me and the girl I was dating broke up. It was sort of mutual. She was going through a divorce, and one day she wanted to talk to me, and the next she didn't. That went on for two months. I couldn't figure out where we were going. I wanted to leave the option open for a future relationship, but she just wanted to be friends. That's OK. I don't blame her, I can imagine that a divorce takes a toll on someone. I'm really at peace with it. It still hurts, and she has been all I thought about for the past week, but that's subsiding. I feel I'm getting back to normal. I still miss her though.
Anyway, I've learned some things. I did learn that I would like children someday. I've also learned not to take rejection so personally. Fear of rejection caused me not to have a relationship for 8 and half years. I don't want to wait until I'm 34 before I have another girlfriend. There are a few others, but I won't list them.
Anyway, I've been comtemplating online dating. I might try that out. I'm not a club/bar type person, and small-town America has limitations on where you can go to meet people.
Well, I guess since the saga is over, I can finally refocus on my graduate work. And get back on track with the diet. I will admit, I have been binging for the past couple of weeks, but I think that is coming to an end. I've gotten better today.
I also can refocus at work. I've been slacking off alot lately, and just generally haven't cared about anything (even myself). It was brought to my attention today that people are starting to notice. Of course I knew I was slacking off, but I just couldn't figure out why no one said anything. I just figured that no one cared, and it made it that much easier to slack off more. Funny thing is, I always thought you had to be on alcohol or drugs to really start screwing up. I'm addicted to neither, but I guess it was all the apathy I've been feeling lately. By lately, I mean the past three years.
Anyway, I have learned that I need to love myself before I can love anyone else, and I guess I have alot of making up to do with myself. I've really hated myself since I was 10. Everyone else liked me, but I just felt fat and unworthy of love.
Anyway, I'd better go. I've got to work on some stuff before bed.
Thanks for asking about me,
Tony
Ahh Tony...you know why I like you so much?
Tony
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