first crisis and it's a big one
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| Mon, 03-29-2004 - 7:51am |
He has not ever given me a reason not to trust him. He has always treated me with respect, honesty and has cherished me in everything we have done. I am facing a huge fear right now. Not only do I have to chose to trust him and not believe what has always been seen from guys but do I want to fight for him. There has not been a formal committment but it has been implied.
OH and because I am unbeliveably stressed I am not keeping anything down. YEAH IBS...lost 2 pounds in one day. Telling you got to love stress and IBS.
I will tell you that this is where I am in my choices. I am trying very hard not to explode over this. I understand there is no formal commitment so I can't "fuss" TOO much about it, but there will be a formal something or another tonight. Part of me wants to fight for this. Part of me wants to tell him to bugger off. I am leaning towards fight for this but....
I guess I am sharing with ya'll because I know you will be supportive about this and also I will hear different views on it. I can tell you my friends are advising me to be open minded and wait and see. First time for this as well.
Anyway...That's my Monday.

I am trying very hard to trust him on this. I really am. But it is hard when you look at other men in either your past or just around and you know that their actions would have been totally unacceptable.
I am going to tell him that he did hurt me by not calling and letting me know and that I am scared. Goodness this has been my fear from the beginning was losing him or the whole idea of trusting someone completely..not just someone a man.
I am truly trying to be mature and open about this. I will tell you that I am afraid that I did do one thing sincerly in the beginning but liked the perk of hurting him a bit. I KNOW BAD KARRIE BAD. I left a voice mail that simply said that i knew he didn't want to talk until today but his voice sounded so hurt that I wanted to make sure he was ok and that if he wanted to to let me know if he was ok. I really am concerned by the tone I heard in his voice.
Give him the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him and ask him about it, but don't sound like you're accusing him of anything or make him feel like he needs to be defensive. I know you've had bad experiences before, but not all guys are like that. She's probably just a friend or an aquaintance, and he probably has a legitimate reason for not telling you about her up front. Trust is important. I know it's still early in your relationship, but you don't want to lose a good thing because you didn't trust him when he probably wasn't doing anything wrong. I would definitely talk to him about it and let him know how you feel, but be careful about putting him on the defensive. You both need to be open and honest for this to work. It's hard, I know, but it is so worth it if he's the right guy for you. Good luck and I'll be sending positive thoughts your way :) And congrats on your 2 pound loss!
~~Linda
~~Linda
So far, I am running every sceniro through my mind and seeing the logic in all of them. I am starting to calm down a bit. But you are right it's time to put the cards on the table, which adds to my own fear. Goodness, have to trust the guy still and tell him how I feel!!!??? What is this world coming too?
I do know that if we make it through this that it will do nothing more than make it stronger.