Creative Parenting....OT

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Creative Parenting....OT
11
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 8:29pm
My children are trying to make me crazy. They KEEP TELLING ME THEIR ROOMS ARE CLEANED WHEN THEY AREN'T! They're hiding things under their beds, and not taking care of their stuff at all. I am at my wits end! I can't stand the lying to me about it, and I won't tolerate it.

SOoooooooo- I decided that having all their nice things is a privilege, and they're not earning it right now. They've been losing their allowances for the same infraction, and it's not working either. So tonight we remedied the situation.

As of now my children have a bed, 2 sheets, one pillow, and a dresser with 7 outfits and 2 pairs of pajamas, and one pair of shoes in their rooms. THAT IS IT. I took everything else- games, toys, books, stuffed animals, other clothes, etc. out, packed it up, and put it in the basement. For the next two weeks they will live with their little "minimalist" rooms, then each week they keep their rooms straight I will give them back one box or bag. And if they manage to keep it clean for that week they will get one more box, etc. They both have 9 boxes and 3 garbage bags downstairs now.

Rina's crying and asking if she can have ONE of her pretty things back... "Just ONE box Mom??? I promise I will keep it clean." Ramey's kinda in shock. I've told them if they still can't keep their rooms clean the next step is locking them out of their rooms completely and giving them each a sleeping bag on the floor in the hallways and dining room. I think they realize I am fed up. So far they're contrite. Hope it lasts. I want them to learn a lesson.

Hugs to all,

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:39pm
Good job Mel =)

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:55pm
Mel that’s great I need to try that with Nate he wil never learn but tomorrow im going to do that…. That is our biggest fight Is over his room… I have threatened but never did it I guess he thinks I never will lol … of shawna no toys at Christmas? I could never do it… I think I am more excited about Christmas morning then he is lol….. Last Christmas I was the one up at 5 am trying to wake him up to come open presents lol… but at least she stuck to her guns… Des
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 8:50am
Today there was lots of glaring during the first part of wake up, but then something really interesting happened.

My daughter, the 6 yr old fashion plate that she is, didn't take long to choose her clothes because there was such a limited supply. She didn't primp in the mirror trying to do her hair because her hair things are gone. Ramey knew where his school stuff was and didn't have to dig through his other stuff to find it. In fact, for the first time in AGES, they left ON TIME for the bus and were able to walk to the bus stop instead of running panicked.

I went into their rooms this morning, and they even straightened up their beds and took their pajamas to the hamper. I know today they'll be pulling out all the stops (see mom? I can do it! Can I have my stuff back now PLEAAAASSSEEE!) but I will not give an inch this time. I hope they realize that it IS a privilege to have so many great things.

I weed their toys out every 3 or 4 months, and clothes every 2 or 3 months. Rina's the 2nd in a line of 5 girl cousins so we hand down as often as possible and she gets her hand me downs pretty regularly too.

If you are thinking about using this- I have to say I recommend it. I didn't have any flash headaches when I walked through their rooms this morning. There was NO stress before school other than the glaring, and the kids really know I mean business. I think it will work out like I planned.

Hugs,

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 9:14am
Wow! What a great idea! The important lesson you're teaching your children is one of personal responsibility, consequences, and that privelages are to be earned, not expected. More than that, you're giving your children consistency in discipline--something they may gripe about now, but they'll thank you for later. Trust me, my parents used some of the same tactics and at 23, I'm thanking them. Their discipline style and expectations of me prepared me for life in the real world--as an adult. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes. An excellent idea, I'm filing it away for future use ;)

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 9:32am
OMG, I don't think I could do it! I'm trying to imagine packing up all that "stuff" and hauling it down to the basement. That's the thing about creative parenting, it's not for the lazy or the timid, is it? Hmm..I wonder if I could count it as my daily workout? ;-)
Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 10:41am
Hi Mel glad it seems to be working =) my mom has done the same thing..my dd will lie about it being clean but when i say i'm gonna check she says she has to check it out more to be sure..lol..so it may take awhile but in the end it's usually done. At times there's something on the floor and i'll point it out and she'll put away after i point to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 11:49am
OMG I LOVE IT!!!! HAHAHHAA YOU ARE GREAT MEL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 1:05pm

You are too cool for school! I am printing out your post and showing it to my husband. I am also going to warn my DS that it could happen to him.....


Deb 270/228/145ish  (updated 4/19/04. Next weigh-in: 6/1/04)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 1:35pm

Oh yeah, guess what? I'm probally going to be putting your plan into action.


DS has been

Deb 270/228/145ish  (updated 4/19/04. Next weigh-in: 6/1/04)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 2:28pm
Okay mel you are on Nates chit list lol yesterday he came home from school and everything was either gone or fixed to where he cant use it…. I couldn’t pic up the tv vcr dvd player or play stations so I just took the outlet bar everything was connected to lol…. I don’t have a basement so his stuff is now in my room…. Like I have the room for all that crap lol but I clean and cleaned couldn’t finish vacuuming because it blew up in the middle of it lol….. So I told Nate he owes me a new one lol we will see if this works….. Desiree

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