self esteem crushed by little brat....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
self esteem crushed by little brat....
38
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 9:44am
OMG, You wouldn't believe what some kid said to me! I have to preface this by saying that I live in fear of hearing comments about my weight, although I really haven't had it happen very much. I teach high school, and to their credit I have NEVER heard one single kid in that school say anything rude (not where I could hear it, anyway!) But yesterday I picked up my daughter from daycare, and this little boy, about 4 or 5 years old looked at me and said "You sure are fat." I was so taken by surprise that I looked back at him and said rather coldly "You sure are rude." He looked astonished and said "But I say that to my mom ALL the time!". YIKES!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 9:59am
I am sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, I am 114 pounds and I *STILL* get called fat. It never ends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 10:13am
Unfortunately, this child didnt know any better and that isnt his fault.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 10:16am
That's tough to hear. I'm sure at that age, he didn't even realize that he was saying anything that would upset you, but I know it's still not easy. I remember a few years ago, when my nephew was about that age, he said to me "Boy, you're a big girl!". I was horrified, but I knew he didn't mean any harm in it. I think it's just the innocence of children. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

~~Linda

~~Linda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 3:32pm
That's always hard to hear, no matter the age of the mouth it comes out of. I've been called a million unkind things (to my face). IT sure doesn't help the self-esteem, but remember that children often repeat the things they hear at home, and this child has probably heard this from someone else, especially if he says it to his mother and it's been treated as an acceptable comment to make. Also keep in mind that young children are in observant mode ALL THE TIME, and part of the way they learn at this age is through observation. At this age, they don't usually have the social skills developed to siphon out hurtful comments from their observation. That doesn't make the comment any easier for you to hear, but I hope you don't let it ruin your day. Good luck, and happy losing!

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 5:38pm
I'm so sorry that happened. That brat should have known better. I teach middle school and sometimes kids say awful things. It's all a product of bad parenting. Oddly, none of my students has ever said anything to me about my weight. I'm sure they say it behind my back, but never in my face. Weird that that topic is 'off limits.' Maybe its because I joke about it as a defense mechanism?? Anyway, I was at a bar watching Midget Wrestling (don't ask) and the midget was up on the bar with a microphone and comes over to me, grabs my hand and says, "Come on BIG GIRL, dance with me." I was mortified. That was a telling moment. I knew then that I was really THAT big and that I was a freak because of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 5:50pm
The fact is that kids are honest. my nephew Devon tells me how big my head is all the time...he likes to say shapes and he says "Mommy head oval, Devon and Daddy head circle, Sara head BIIIIIG circle!"...and my sister is 5 months pregnant, and she'll tell Devon(who will be 3 April 25) to come lay down on the couch with her, and he goes "Can't! Mommy tooooo big!!"

Kids haven't learned that you don't tell ppl stuff that'll hurt their feelings, like, we are teaching Devon not to say "You ugly!" If he says that to someone, he'll go "No, we don't say that!" to himself lol, b/c that is what Holly always tells him.

Take it with a grain of salt. I know it hurt you, and I probably would have cried, but imagine being his mother?! As he said, she hears it everyday, and probably from his daddy too sounds like...so, just think that you will not always have to hear that, and that should motivate you even more.

Sara

~Sayruhb02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 6:15pm
But after all, he was just a little child and very young children usually haven't been enculturated yet to know not to speak what they think when they think it. He wasn't trying to be rude, and I wouldn't take it too personally. We were all 5 years old once.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 8:36pm
Wow......ouch!
 
Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 8:58pm
I'll bet that if this kid's mother had admonished him for making rude comments about her weight, he wouldn't feel free to comment on a stranger's weight. Yes, we were all five once, but I know my parents would NEVER have tolerated me speaking to any adult the way this kid did. It's sad that this kid's parents do tolerate it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 10:21am
Nope - MY daughter wouldn't say that and she's the same age. She's been taught *manners*, and obviously this kid gets away with saying that kind of crap at home. It's a different sense you get when a child just blurts something honestly or when they are actually being rude - and he was definitely being rude! However, my comment back to him telling him that it was rude may have done the trick to teach him what his parents didn't! ;-)

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