self esteem crushed by little brat....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
self esteem crushed by little brat....
38
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 9:44am
OMG, You wouldn't believe what some kid said to me! I have to preface this by saying that I live in fear of hearing comments about my weight, although I really haven't had it happen very much. I teach high school, and to their credit I have NEVER heard one single kid in that school say anything rude (not where I could hear it, anyway!) But yesterday I picked up my daughter from daycare, and this little boy, about 4 or 5 years old looked at me and said "You sure are fat." I was so taken by surprise that I looked back at him and said rather coldly "You sure are rude." He looked astonished and said "But I say that to my mom ALL the time!". YIKES!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:27pm
That's really rude, Forte!! This is a SUPPORT board - disagree with me whenever you like but childish name calling is not called for here, and your snotty tone is hurtful. If you read my posts - ALL three of them, you could see that I didn't take it all that seriously except for the first few moments that it stung - but obviously you'd rather just label me than understand me. As for whether or not a stranger should correct a child - you damn betcha!! I expect any reasonable adult to correct my child if they are clearly out of line and I'm not there to hear it, and as a teacher I do it all day long and feel pretty comfortable doing it as long as it is not done in a hurtful way. If the child says something directly to me, I have EVERY RIGHT to respond.


Edited 4/1/2004 9:31 pm ET ET by mom2morgan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 8:38pm
READ MY LIPS - I did NOT call the child a brat!! I told him that what he had said was rude, and I didn't relate the entire conversation, either. After he said that he says that to his mom all the time, I said "Well, it hurts my feelings. It isn't nice to say bad things to people. People who are "fat" don't like being told that." and he said "oh, okay" and ran off to play. I abbreviated the story here to get across the main point, and vented my own frustration here is a supposedly SAFE forum by calling him a "brat". Heck, I've called my own kids "brats" on my playgroup board to vent a little emotion precisely BECAUSE I can't say such a hurtful thing to their faces. But thank you DOCTOR Forte for your extensived psycoanalysis of my personality flaws based on one post. When will I receive the bill for your services???
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 10:54pm
I actually tried to email you about this post but the email was sent back.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 3:23pm
Thanks, Shawna! After I flipped my wig I went back and started reading other posts, and realized that I was probably doing battle with a troll (and therefore completely wasting my time). I had seen the name often enough that I took her to be legit, but I guess I got suckered! Anyway, I got so hot under the collar that I probably burned a few calories ;-) and I guess it doesn't hurt to have a reminder that I need to be very clear in what I'm saying on the internet, since it is so easy to twist peoples' words. I've been on ivillage for about 6 years, so don't worry that one little fuss will scare me away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 4:20pm
Good!

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 11:16am
I don't keep lists of who I want to respond to, and who I don't, so if you don't want to read my posts then feel free not to. That's your choice. Glad I could help with that word though, and it's usually best to check first. Have a good one!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 11:17am
No, it wasn't rude. And the little child wasn't rude either. Both were truthful. Sorry you took it that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 11:27am
Read the title of your OP. The word "brat" is in it and indeed, the child was so labeled. You know, it was just an honest comment by an innocent little child and there was no reason to label him nor to "correct" him when, according to you, his assessment on the weight issue was already correct. He didn't lie. And he wasn't your child to "correct." Better to take it up with his parents, and be done with it, if you thought he was wrong about something. I really think this has gotten way too much attention (from me included) than it ever deserved. If you ever say Art Linkletter's "Kids say the darndest things" then you know they do indeed. Children have the best habit of being truthful, of speaking their minds, and there's nothing on earth wrong with that. And again, no adult can have his/her "self esteem" "crushed" by the words of a five year old. Self esteem is a gift we give ourselves, and no one can take it away or "crush" it but we ourselves. Our self esteem does not come from an outside source, but from within. And that's the only point here worth getting across. To repeat, the child did not (and could not) "crush" an adults self esteem, and he was in no way deserving of the label "little brat" just for speaking the truth (as he saw it). Now, have a wonderful weekend. I'm sure the child is off enjoying his, and we all should ours too. Life is too short to spend it picking on a little, innocent child or fretting that someone else has crushed our self esteem.....when that's not even a remote possibility. Self esteem comes from the self, and no body else can crush your own.

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