SEX , is it worth it? (wayyy OT)
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| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 9:36am |
Ok...I want to tell you a story about a silly girl named April and her man Joe....once upon a time they had a fabulous sex life..every day and amazing!!! Well living together set in then Joe watching childbirth scarred the poor man silly to the point he was terrified of doing it again. Things slowly got better with April getting some lovin' on a weekly to bi-weekly basis . One night (a warm spring Tuesday evening to be exact) April set in after a warm bath to seducing her man . After much "persuading" (some would call it foreplay) April finally convinced Joe to give in and get frisky with her . After a lovely minute and a half April went on to the bathroom for the obligatory "handing of the towel to the man" ritual . While walking out of the bathroom and into her closet to retrieve her robe she kicked something..."OUCH" she said then felt the trickle down her toes . Turning the light on with a fright she realized she had kicked an AXE..yes you read correctly ..an AXE!!! "holy *&^%" she yelled after seeing the gaping wound on her foot . "what the hell is the axe doing in the closet?!?!" "It is right where you told me to put it honey"...Jumping on her right foot trying to keep the left foot from bleeding everywhere she hops back into the bathroom and turns to see quite the largest blood stain she has ever seen in her brand new tan carpet . "I sure hope you can get that out...oh...are you ok?" Joe asks..slightly concerned after seeing the large pool of blood collecting under April's foot . " After swallowing hre tongue and holding her right hook from doing some serious damage to Joe's nose she replies "of course dear...here is your towel now let me clean this silly mess up"...OK..so it didnt go quite that sweet...but DAMMMMIT!!!!
lol...so did you like my story??? I have a lovely 1 inch wide meat hanging out gaping wound on my foot..it is really nice...anyone want a picture of it???? I probably should go get stitches but God forbid Joe have to take me to the ER to get it stitched...we don't want him to miss any work <> QUICK..SOMEONE SLAP THE BACK OF MY HEAD..MY EYES ARE STUCK IN THE BACK OF IT!!!!!
Anyway..I have a few stories like this...they are a bit graphic but my god they are hilarious!!! I am done being mad and I got the stain up off my carpet all the while trying to be quiet so king Joe can get to sleep<> So I am taking a hiatus from sex..I just don't think it is worth me getting so beat up over anymore . I am beginning to fear for my life!
(btw..the axe was in there because my son bought it at renaissance faire and I didn't want it in his room for fear of him falling on it or something of that nature...maybe we would all be safer if I rent a storage unit for it )


Oh, and I am thinking a storage unit is an excellent idea.
Love ya!
Mel