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| Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:12pm |
OK well I just got an email from Jeff that basically turned down the invite on Saturday for Easter and I am assuming the Easter basket too. SIGH....goodness I feel like I have been rejected. He said that we needed to wait that he couldn't go on without making a decision first. Well, the bubble I had just got burst and though it's a logical assumption it still hurts.
Yeah and here comes the icky feeling again.

Right now I am waiting this next week because I said I would and I am following through. However, if after we talked things are not resolved I am walking away. I am kicking that around now especially since I felt a dag gum pain shot down my arm this morning after I read the email.
I understand why he said no and I am calm about it and he is right. It wouldn't be fair to anyone to take another step. HMMM, wonder if this is what all those people feel like on Average Joe et al?
Again, there are decisions I am making as well and more will be made when we talk. I am starting to really think about a lot of issues. I don't know how to explain it but for some really strange reason and I do mean strange, I trust him. I don't trust anyone and especially men. Silly creatures are beyond ridiculous in their choices.
Honestly, I do love this man. I am not IN love with him completely. I haven't felt this way with any other man and I know if we make it through this then it is for keeps. I can't explain it well enough for anyone to understand why I am doing this. It's not me to be patient about this and/or not be so angry I can't see straight.
Makes no sense I know.
I really don't understand it at all. Now that I have stopped acting like a girl about this. He is right. There should not be any contact right now. It has to be hard for anyone to have broken up with someone and then find another when some feelings have not been resolved.
I am in a position where I can't make any decisions until I hear from him as well. I am really trying to think this through and not make a spur of the moment choice. He might have to wait for a few days as well.