so I have a question...

Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
so I have a question...
58
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 2:34pm
And I'll probably get blasted and all that but I have to ask.

Why is there so much animosity toward "skinny people" on this board?

I don't understand why people have no problem saying how snotty and judgemental skinny people are when they are being just as snotty and judgemental *toward* skinny people.

Why do you hate what you want to become? how do you know that skinny person isn't a formerly fat person? How do you know they are looking at you disgusted?

I know it's hard to imagine but skinny people have just as many body issues as fat people. It took me a long time to realize that...for a long time I wanted to smack the girls that said, "I hate this belly" as they lifted their shirt to reveal a perfectly fine "belly". But as women, we are taught to aim for unattainable perfection that doesn't exist.

I just think it's funny that so many people have a problem with skinny people when it is our goal to become "skinny".

JMHO...

Sarah

Sarah


 


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Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 2:58pm
Hi Sarah, i've wondered the same thing the last few days. If you get blasted then that person is probally in fault of what you said. There's plenty of rude, judgemental, know all overweight people as there are thin, it has nothing to do with body type just personality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 3:17pm
I am considered a skinny person I guess, 5'2", 115 pounds... (although I've also been called fat recently by some online trolls - make up your damn mind, people!) and I've been offended several times by "skinny bashing" posts. I wasn't terribly overweight, but I had terrible habits and was probably the most sedentary person on the planet. I was lucky to only be 25 pounds overweight.

It doesn't mean I didn't have to deal with changing my way of eating and basically rethinking my lifestyle - very much like what many of you on this board are trying to do, what a surprise!

One problem that I continue to deal with is a lack of self esteem. If you saw me on the street, at the gym...I wonder how many of you would think "skinny bitch" and turn up her nose? From reading your posts, many of you have waaay more confidence in your body than I have right now. I may have a "killer body", but I haven't learned to love it yet. I'm getting there.

So what am I doing here? I'm not sure. I like the posts here. I like most of the regulars here very much. I would like to help people along their weight loss journey.

good post, thanks.

Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 3:27pm
hey zorbs i've enjoyed your posts, manyatimes you say exactly what i've thought..lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 4:41pm
Sarah, I think you are so right when you say that even "skinny" people have body issues. This is something that affects all women, thin and overweight. After dropping 32 pounds, most people I know tell me I am thin enough now and it is time to stop. But when I look in the mirror I still see a stomach stretched out from having four babies in five years, I still see legs that are too big, arms that seem untoned and yucky. Knowing that your perception is skewed, and changing that perception are two very different things! I am slowly trying to accept my body. The really funny thing is I was less obsessed and more okay with my body before I lost weight...weird huh?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 4:48pm
You know, that's a very good question. I've noticed that too, but I'm not part of it. I think it's probably jealousy or envy for what some have not attained and may never attain. It seems to be an odd sort of self-hatred directed at anyone and anything certain individuals categorize as "other." Whether it's a newcomer to the boards, myself included, or someone who is thin. The anger directed at others never seems to end. You're right, you may get blasted for mentioning it but rest assured it's something that you're not the first person to notice.

>>I just think it's funny that so many people have a problem with skinny people when it is our goal to become "skinny".<<

I agree with you 100%

Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 4:52pm
well everyone...I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way or sees this.

I was talking to dh about it the other night and he thought it was weird too. I guess I just don't get why people have to have someone to "hate". It's such a waste of energy.

Sarah

Sarah


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 4:52pm
You know, it's not weird at all! One thing that may help is having someone take a poleroid of you once a month, so that you can get a more accurate picture of what you look like to the world. Somehow looking in the mirror is not exactly the same thing. And the thing is, when we lose weight we're still the same on the inside and our perceptions of what we look like to the rest of the world, physically, after losing the weight may be skewed. Does that make sense? I think you're right, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 4:54pm
>>I just don't get why people have to have someone to "hate". It's such a waste of energy.<<

I agree! Nice meeting you Sarah, and good talking to you about this.

Avatar for coffee_bean123
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 4:55pm

First let me say that I am not in any way "blasting" you about

Coffee Coffee 2 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Fri, 04-09-2004 - 5:08pm
Coffee, if I can jump in without getting "blasted." I don't think her post is "out of line" at all, and in fact I congratulate her for having the courage to bring it up. I'm sure others, perhaps some of the newer posters whom others have not attacked but who never appear beyond their "introduction" have noticed the same thing, and have probably ran off because of it. I mean, losing weight can be challenging enough without hearing this sort of thing (as exemplified in your post) about the "resident troll" (whom I know I've also been accused of being, along with just about anyone whom certain "regulars" have targeted).

I not only think she's not "out of line" (as you say) but rather "courageous for bringing it up" (as I say) but I also think she's brought up something which, if solved, can really help others to reach their goal weight here. It's a valid question. There have been several posts attacking "skinny people" (not your "trolls" but imaginary enemies out there in the real world) as well as strangers coming onto the board. She brings up a valid point when she says, Why is it necessary to hate someone?

Is it anger with the self (for gaining weight, or something else) that it's simply easier to direct outward at some imaginary enemy? I wonder about that. But when she says it's silly to hate....she's right. Every bit of anger takes energy, and whether you are jousting at windmills by attacking new posters, labeling people you don't know "trolls," or attacking skinny people (the "bite me" thread for one)....it's all useless energy which could be better spent in discussing ways to get one's own weight under control.

The board shouldn't be someplace to vent (someone wrote about feeling better after attacking "trolls")...it should be a place where grown up women, and men perhaps, could come together for a few minutes a day to discuss our common issues. How are we going about reaching our weight goals? How can we lend each other a hand? NOT....how can we have fun attacking someone we label as "different" whether because they are "skinny" or for whatever reason.

I'm sorry, I respectfully disagree with you. The OP was not out of line, but she was right on target. And I think the board should thank her, sincerely, for bringing something out into the open which gets in the way of reaching that common goal of achieving health.

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