OT - disturbed about unattended children

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
OT - disturbed about unattended children
29
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 12:38pm
This bothered me so much that I had to "share"! Still wondering if I should have "done" something. I took my daughter Kiana (5 years old) to the park last night at around 7:30. This particular playground is several blocks from my house, and is set in the middle of a "close", so there are houses surrounding it on three sides, but it is really quite large, and treed. Anyway, there was a little girl there all by herself, who had just turned 4. She was extremely trusting (she certainly answered all the questions that I asked her!) so I found out that she lives in a house on the West side of the park, and that no one was with her, and that she comes to the park "all the time" by herself, and she just has to go home when it starts to get dark. At one point, she spotted a friend of hers and raced across the road on the EAST side of the park, and disappeared for a little while into the girl's back yard. I saw the mom of the little girl escort her to the sidewalk and send her back across the street. We were there for about 45 minutes and we saw NO-ONE come looking for this kid. One pre-teen boy came into the park and called her by name to say hello. I asked him if he was her brother and he said "no, she's here a lot". Honestly, it would have been so easy for someone to walk off with this child- and I was, quite frankly, scared to go home and leave her all alone. Finally, after about 45 minutes and it WAS starting to get dark, I heard a voice yelling "Jordan! Time for supper!" and she took off running. I saw the house she went into and briefly considered going over to speak to the mother, but I really don't believe it would make any difference, and she'd probalby just become angry and defensive. You see lots of little kids in my town just wandering around like that at all hours - I think people feel that it must be "safe" because we have a town of "only" 5,000, but it scares the HELL out of me! I don't even let my 11 year old go to the park unless she has a friend with her, and not that late in the evening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 1:37pm
That is sad!!! No I wouldn’t let me kid go to the park… it took me 5 years to even let him go to a sleep over at a good friend of mines house…. I still don’t let him go into a public bathroom by himself… hes getting to where he don’t want to go into the womans bathroom he will be 9 in June but I don’t care! I always think of that story few years ago where that young boy went to the bathroom at a park and was mortally beaten by a deranged MO FO……. Unfortunately I know this woman who does not care about her kids either…. Her 8 year old is basically the “mommy” to her 4 month old… she changes 95% of diapers feeds her picks her up when she cries…. She used to be outside all the time but now she cant because she has a baby to take care of…. Her older son runs the streets as his hearts content and hes only 11... When she wants to go out and have a good time Her kids have been left alone since I can remember some people just don’t care about their kids…. It being a small place only means if the kid is snatched theres less likely anyone will witness anything….. I applaud you for wanting to stay there for the sake of this child… its not as safe as it used to be when I was a kid we could walk the neighbrhood yes kidnappings was still known but it was nowhere near how it is today,,,,, hopefully this mother will never have to witness what this feels like she will truly feel guilt……
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 1:40pm
I think it is more sad that kids can't go to parks or outside witjout someone to watch them. When I was growing up this was never an issue. I was allowed to run around at the age. But mind you that was in the early 70's
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 1:46pm

I dont blame you.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 2:43pm

I think I would make a phone call if I were in that situation.

 
Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 3:50pm
http://www.snopes.com/language/eponyms/codeadam.htm

"Code Adam" is a "missing child" security protocol in place in various chain stores. It's an industry's attempt to prevent a tragedy (whether it be a kidnapped child or one who had wandered away). As such, it's real.

"Whether or not young Adam Walsh (the lad the Code is named for) was kidnapped out of the store he was last seen in is still unknown -- it appears even more likely that he'd gone outside to the parking lot by himself and met his killer there. It is therefore a mistake to assert with any degree of authority that "Code Adam" was named for a child who was abducted from a store. (It's natural though to confuse this boy's death with the apocryphal story of an attempted kidnapping from a large store in which the child is drugged, his clothes are changed, and his hair cut and dyed, because that tale has been kicking around forever. One has to but hear 'child,' 'abduction' and 'store' to bring that well-traveled urban legend immediately to mind. Those interested in reading up on that legend should visit the kidnappings page.)

. . .

"'Code Adam' was named for Adam Walsh., who was abducted from the Sears store in Hollywood, Florida, on 27 July 1981. His mother left him in the video games section for what she later said was five or seven minutes while she went to a different part of the store to buy a lamp. There are some reports that Adam was ordered out of Sears by store security as he and some others were making a disturbance and that his abductor encountered him outside the store.

"Only the child's head has ever been recovered, no other body part. I don't believe the site of the child's murder has ever been determined. . . ."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 8:25pm
Well, even if that one is a bit of an "urban myth", that sort of thing CAN happen, and I know that at least one "in store" abduction and consequent murder HAS happened. Have you ever read Gavin DeBecker (sp?) "The Gift of Fear" and "Protecting the Gift"? He's a personal safety expert and he's just EXCELLENT. He does detail one such abduction, but his focus is really on how to protect ourselves and our children without giving in to paranoia. That said, I don't think he'd be too happy about a 4 year old alone at a park, either - but I have to admit I feel a little uncomfortable calling the authorities when so many parents around here do the same thing. I DID drive by the park this eve. to see if she was there again, and she wasn't. I HATE being put in this situation!
Avatar for brens2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 9:54pm
I'd have to agree with Shawna here.If you feel that it may help in at least notifying athorities so the parents are aware that someone is keeping an eye out for the safety of their children,perhaps they will be a bit more protective.

My Mother use to let me go to the park alone when I was 5,until she watched me hop into the back of a van with some young couple that was there.She said she never screamed my name so loud and thanked god I got back out and ran home.Even though she thought she taught me all I could know about strangers,I still broke all her rules,because to me,the couple were friendly enough.

It's a scary world.I still don't allow my 10 year old out of my site in a store,and I always make sure he calls me when he is going to a friends house.

Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 9:54pm
You're not blowing this out of proportion. I grew up in a small town (5,000), and the summer before I started kindergarten, a little girl my age was kidnapped from the city park one afternoon. She'd gotten kicked out of the swimming pool and had to wait in the park until her sisters were done swimming. She was found alive three days later in Salt Lake City (I'm from Oregon). She was molested, but otherwise unharmed. We were friends throughout elementary school. The trauma from the kidnapping followed her throughout her life.

Frankly, a four year old is just too young to be playing in a park unsupervised. There's not just the risk of abduction, but also from injuries that can occur on playground equipment, running out in front of traffic, etc. I don't know what to suggest about CPS; you might want to call them the next time you find the girl in the park alone, but I can almost guarantee there's no way the girl would be removed from her home. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 10:20pm
Yeah, I wasn't sure if the story about the girl was true or not because I've heard it so many different times from so many different people.
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:18am
I think those books should be required reading for every parent. I found they gave me a much greater sense of control and peace about raising my kids. The whole "stranger danger" myth that he busts really made sense to me. We need to be vigilant and teach our children how to deal with strangers--because obviously the idea that we can just tell them to avoid them doesn't appear to work. Did you see him on Oprah a few years back? Good common sense from that guy. My 2 cents, KSAS

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