OT - disturbed about unattended children

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
OT - disturbed about unattended children
29
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 12:38pm
This bothered me so much that I had to "share"! Still wondering if I should have "done" something. I took my daughter Kiana (5 years old) to the park last night at around 7:30. This particular playground is several blocks from my house, and is set in the middle of a "close", so there are houses surrounding it on three sides, but it is really quite large, and treed. Anyway, there was a little girl there all by herself, who had just turned 4. She was extremely trusting (she certainly answered all the questions that I asked her!) so I found out that she lives in a house on the West side of the park, and that no one was with her, and that she comes to the park "all the time" by herself, and she just has to go home when it starts to get dark. At one point, she spotted a friend of hers and raced across the road on the EAST side of the park, and disappeared for a little while into the girl's back yard. I saw the mom of the little girl escort her to the sidewalk and send her back across the street. We were there for about 45 minutes and we saw NO-ONE come looking for this kid. One pre-teen boy came into the park and called her by name to say hello. I asked him if he was her brother and he said "no, she's here a lot". Honestly, it would have been so easy for someone to walk off with this child- and I was, quite frankly, scared to go home and leave her all alone. Finally, after about 45 minutes and it WAS starting to get dark, I heard a voice yelling "Jordan! Time for supper!" and she took off running. I saw the house she went into and briefly considered going over to speak to the mother, but I really don't believe it would make any difference, and she'd probalby just become angry and defensive. You see lots of little kids in my town just wandering around like that at all hours - I think people feel that it must be "safe" because we have a town of "only" 5,000, but it scares the HELL out of me! I don't even let my 11 year old go to the park unless she has a friend with her, and not that late in the evening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 7:22am
Ya'll...

I still think it sad that we even have to be cautious like this. I grew up running around by myself including the deer lease. I feel more for my future children because they won't know the freedom of living in a world where we as parents or future parents didn't have to worry about who is talking to who, what candy they are getting at Halloween, what is happening at school, etc. I am truly beginning to wonder if my generation was the last to be raised in innocence.

Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 9:55am
yeah i can't stand parents like that, children don't ask to be born. They need supervision as well as protection.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 11:27am
I understand how you're feeling. When we lived in MI- we did NOT live in a good neighborhood. For example- My son's 7th birthday was disrupted by a shooting on the street while the kids whacked the pinata in full view.

A little boy named Zack who was 4 years old used to come over into my yard and play on our swingset. He was very chatty. I had no idea where he lived, but I told him he couldn't play on our swings unless I asked his mommy if it was okay, and he stopped swinging. I used to watch him from my window and he'd just be playing with sticks and whatever trash he could find on the curb. I finally went out front and sat on the steps. When he came up he sat and we talked and I asked him if his Mom knew where he was. He said yeah, she's asleep. She said I can go outside as long as I don't wake her up. He wouldn't tell me where he lived, so I told him I was going to call a nice person to walk him home. I called the police and they sent an officer out. They took Zack to the station (he wouldn't tell them where he lived either) and eventually his mother called the police frantic. She learned her lesson- I didn't see Zack without her supervision again.

Maybe if you see her calling an officer would be a choice? I hate getting involved with DCFS or CPS too, but it would be worth it to know the little girl was less at risk. JMHO

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:14pm
I agree with you, but I wonder how safe we really were? I grew up that way too - but was there REALLY less evil in the world, or were our parents just less aware of it? Anyway, it is what it is, so as much as I hate it I have to deal with it :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:19pm
True but hon you have to remember that I grew up almost a full 10 yrs before you. OK, at least I think I did. :)

I remember when Halloween was taken from us with all the needels and junk in the candy. I was 9 when that happened.

I would say that the evil was well hidden and not everywhere as it is now. Here in houston they just broke a child porn ring up with OB's, teachers, and clergy involved. I don't believe that would have been so out there in the era I grew up in.

Then again when I was in highschool we barely had teen pregancies and gangs and violence wasn't even an issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:22pm
After the fact, it's a late. But if you were really concerned for the child's safety while she was in the park, seems the prudent thing to do would have been to dial 911 and let the authorities sort it out THEN. It's good she got home safely.
Avatar for jess9802
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:43pm
Hey, I grew up about 8-10 years after you did, and starting about the time I was 8 or 9, I walked to the swimming pool by myself every day during the summer. When I'm in my hometown, I see kids that age wandering around by themselves. My friend is the only person to have been kidnapped in that area in the past 25 years (and in the region there's a total population of about 50,000). What we don't see on the nightly news is the number of kids who are emotionally, physically, and sexually abused by their close relatives and family friends. The others are right--"stranger danger" is overblown.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:47pm
So true...most child abuse is done by those the children trust. Now I will admit that in the last year Houston has dealt with one child stalker after another but it's the little ones dealing with close caregivers that aren't protected as they should.

Sheesh I remember getting on my bike and riding to the local 5 and dime to get a coke which was about a mile away. All I had to do was check in right when I got back. Now if I didn't...OWWWW!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:48pm
IF she was really concerned??? It's obvious that she was, or why would she be bothered by it or mention it? Please try not to sound so condescending. Not all of us lead our entire lives to the same level of perfection that you seem to, and this really IS a hard issue to sort out when you're the person actually dealing with it rather than the person telling them they didn't handle it "prudently". Making her feel bad now helps NO ONE.

Perhaps the "best" choice was to call the police, but in the end there are worse things that could have been done than keeping an eye on the child til she was safely home instead of leaving to go call the police and leaving her more vulnerable.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt- You may not mean to sound so negative, or to miss the humor in other people's posts and try to chip away at them by taking things so literally, or to speak to others in a tone that suggests you're somehow better than they are....BUT YOU DO! And it's offensive and often hurtful. Please think of how your words are going to make another person feel. Please- If you want to debate, argue, or stir up trouble, then I'll see you on hot topics, and I'm sure we'd both put up a good fight. But maybe we could try to keep the atmosphere here a little more mellow?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 12:51pm
Sounds over-reactive. Obviously not really, since she didn't feel in warranted calling the police to escort the child home safely. Peace be with you.