OT - disturbed about unattended children

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
OT - disturbed about unattended children
29
Sun, 04-11-2004 - 12:38pm
This bothered me so much that I had to "share"! Still wondering if I should have "done" something. I took my daughter Kiana (5 years old) to the park last night at around 7:30. This particular playground is several blocks from my house, and is set in the middle of a "close", so there are houses surrounding it on three sides, but it is really quite large, and treed. Anyway, there was a little girl there all by herself, who had just turned 4. She was extremely trusting (she certainly answered all the questions that I asked her!) so I found out that she lives in a house on the West side of the park, and that no one was with her, and that she comes to the park "all the time" by herself, and she just has to go home when it starts to get dark. At one point, she spotted a friend of hers and raced across the road on the EAST side of the park, and disappeared for a little while into the girl's back yard. I saw the mom of the little girl escort her to the sidewalk and send her back across the street. We were there for about 45 minutes and we saw NO-ONE come looking for this kid. One pre-teen boy came into the park and called her by name to say hello. I asked him if he was her brother and he said "no, she's here a lot". Honestly, it would have been so easy for someone to walk off with this child- and I was, quite frankly, scared to go home and leave her all alone. Finally, after about 45 minutes and it WAS starting to get dark, I heard a voice yelling "Jordan! Time for supper!" and she took off running. I saw the house she went into and briefly considered going over to speak to the mother, but I really don't believe it would make any difference, and she'd probalby just become angry and defensive. You see lots of little kids in my town just wandering around like that at all hours - I think people feel that it must be "safe" because we have a town of "only" 5,000, but it scares the HELL out of me! I don't even let my 11 year old go to the park unless she has a friend with her, and not that late in the evening.

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Avatar for brens2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 1:00pm
I wouldn't take this poster as someone who means well Mel,she/he rarely ever makes posts to the happy posts we make...it's always to a post where she/he knows they can start trouble.I just ignore it now and have a good laugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 1:02pm
What sounds over-reactive? My assessment of you or my defending a friend? And your idea of "obviously" doesn't necessarily hold true for everyone- this is what I mean by you sounding condescending. You make remarks that sound more like thinly veiled judgments. Often many of us say things that we feel are OBVIOUS to us, but that doesn't mean they are to anyone else.

She watched the child walk into her home- she may not have done the "best" possible thing, but that doesn't mean she did anything wrong or should be made to feel bad about it now. Perhaps she didn't do what you or I or John Doe or Mr. T would have done, but she did nothing she should feel upset about.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 1:34pm
Melodyneve,

I have to jump in. It does sound "overreactive" and the poster is right. It seems to me, too, if the woman felt genuine concern she would have contacted police to take the child home. There's no "defense of friend" involved here so I can't figure why you're jumping all over this person.

In a similar situation, I'd call the police to protect the child and sort things out. It doesn't sound like genuine concern to drill the child about where she lived, and then let her walk off if the adult were really concerned.

In any case, what does she hope to accomplish by bringing it up on Monday? The kid is home, safely co thanks to this "concerned" adult. If the child had been harmed in the park, it would have been no thanks to a "concerned" adult who wasn't concerned enough to call the police to escort this kid home.

The "best" thing possible is to leave strangers' kids alone, lest you get accused of trying to pick them up yourself. The best thing to do is contact police, let them help the child, while you watch to make sure no one abducts her until they arrive. This sounds more like nosiness then concern, and now what does she hope to accomplish by bringing it up at all?

Gee wiz, have a cup of tea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 2:47pm
Hi. Welcome to the board!

I am sorry you felt I was overreactive. I hope you understand my remarks were NOT based solely on the post they followed.

I don't agree with your post, but I am glad you felt comfortable posting it. I refuse to make the OP feel bad for "failing" the child in the park in anyway. None of us always make the "best" decisions, and by the same token I don't believe all of us would necessarily have done what we've said "if it was me" in the same case. It's a different ball game from the batter's point of view. We never know til we're there.

Hope to see more of you.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:27pm
Well, I discussed it with the local RCMP today, who referred me to Child Welfare, who told me there is nothing that can be done. Apparently there is no specific law against having a child that age at the park alone, and they need a lot more evidence of any kind of neglect or abuse before they will become involved, so no dice. Thanks for your suggestions anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:29pm
The reason for bringing it up on Monday is that the child said that she goes to the park "All the time", so quite likely I would have another chance to do something different in the future. However, if you read my post below in response to forte (???) you will see that I do not have any right to call the police or child welfare about this issue. Well - I have a "right" to call - but they will not do anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:31pm
There should be alot of thought put into calling the police or CPS.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:34pm

*hands you a cup of tea, laced in lots of sugar*


Why bring it up on Monday?

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:45pm
That's true, Shawna, although I have to admit that I'd rather take the chance of breaking up a family than of not protecting a child. I've had some experience with this as a teacher, since we obviously have to report anything the least bit suspicious relating to any of our students. However, I was pretty sure in this case that it wouldn't matter anyhow - since kids of all ages roam around all over here. In fact, a friend of mine had MAJOR problems with a neighbourhood kid a bit older, but the police told her they couldn't control his roaming unless he actually became a nuisance (which he eventually did - AND both the poice and child welfare are involved without having much impact on the situation that I can see). It is frustrating, and frightening, but I did all I could, Obviously - though I'm sure "other(s)" will disagree ;-)

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