OT- I need Advice Too......Love Advice
Find a Conversation
OT- I need Advice Too......Love Advice
| Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:35pm |
I could use some advice ladies and gents.
| Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:35pm |
I could use some advice ladies and gents.
Pages
What was I talking about? :/
Oh yeah, we can be all of the above. Rely does he know how much marriage means to you? Many men put too much into the phrase "if it aint broke, don't fix it". Prehaps one or both of you are afraid of change. Maybe he is afraid of how marriage might change him, or you might have stayed in the relationship cause you were comfortable with it. If you are truly happy, then stay and talk to him about it. If you are still with him cause you know what to expect then do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Just my opinion. I could be DENSE, totally oblivious, and might not have a clue :)
What ever you decide to do, good luck. I wish you the best.
I think that's where you're at. If marriage and being married is important to you, then you should let him know! And if you don't feel comfortable telling him, "We've been together a long time. I want to marry you. I want our commitment to each other to be official and recognized by our family and friends," then when WILL you? Are you ready to spend the rest of your life deferring to him on where to live, when to have kids, how many kids to have, etc.?
If you can't stomach the thought of talking to him about this issue before you break off the relationship, maybe YOU'RE not ready for marriage, or maybe he's just not the one. You were what, 18 when you started dating him? And seven years have passed, which isn't much time in the grand scheme of things, but you've probably changed and grown so much since you met him. Most people change in their early 20s--you have, and so has Tom.
Whatever you do, I don't think you should put off talking to him. You need to let him know that you're considering ending the relationship, and that you're putting the ball in his court. But whatever you do, don't spring it on him a few months from now. He can't read your mind. He may not *really* understand how important this anniversary was to you. As hard as it may be, you should tell him that you were hoping he would propose.
Sorry to ramble. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you need to have the difficult discussions and go from there. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
And tell him to quit screwing off, you have a life to live.
(Just my 'lil 'ol two cents)
Amy
just a thought...since it is LEAP YEAR...you do know tradition has it during leap year a woman can ask the man to marry her?
i know a bit of humor in a very serious matter but maybe asking him might give him a start that this is really important to you.
and that is something i am learning. you can't walk away when you hit a bump no matter if the relationship is 1 month old or 6 yrs. if you think it is worth the effort you have to try and work it out.
You could always propose to him as well ;) I know,not the way most women imagine a proposal to go...but you just never know.Even though you guys have talked about it,he may be scared of proposing.I was living with DH before we got married,and had a son together...he was STILL nervous,lol.
Whatever you decide,good luck and know we are all here for you.
Bren
Pages