Do you ever feel left out??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Do you ever feel left out??
5
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 11:38am
I posted this on another board. I know I'm more of a lurker on this board, but everyone here is so great and I would love some input on this.

Yesterday, I went to lunch with my tennis buddies after our matches. 5 women, 1 man. All the women (except me) are on weight watchers, so they were analyzing everything in terms of points. 3 points for this, 5 points for that. Then they started talking about the weight they are losing. One had lost 20 lbs, another 8 and so on. I'm the heaviest one in the bunch. I'm also not on a "diet" and I haven't lost the pounds they have. So I sat there, feeling so left out, and feeling like I should be doing something, like Atkins, WW, Jenny Craig, SOMETHING. But I know myself. I'll get on one of those diets and for maybe as long as 2 weeks, I'll be Mrs. Diet Queen. Obsessed with everything going into my mouth, every food allowed in the house, and pretty much make my hubby miserable. And I don't want that obession. Isn't eating suppose to be enjoyable?? Is food the enemy??

What do y'all think?? And what would you do in this situation?? I just sat there feeling guilty for the chips I was eating and not even aware of the points I was consuming.

((HUGS))

lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 11:51am

Hi there Lori =)

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 12:26pm
That's hard. I'd check out the Anti-diet board and maybe read a book like the 7 secrets of naturally slim people. If the issue is just feeling left out, think about that over-controlled crazy diet fiend feeling you get (I get it too, like counting out the last cheerio when a week ago I was eating Ben & Jerry's with abandon). But if you really want to lose weight there are ways to do it without counting anything. I was doing an anti-diet approach (the weigh down diet), and my habits were improving but I'm feeling the urge to count calories again, so I'm trying to combine that with the principles of AD (like never ever eating if you're not truly stomach hungry, selecting the foods that sound the best, eating higher calorie foods in lower quantities because they're more satisfying, etc). I'm just keeping track of how it's going to make sure I lose weight.

It is weird to be in that situation, though.

Erin

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Mom
Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 12:33pm
Hi Lori, i don't remember reading anything about you before so all i know is from what i read in this post. You're not doing any diet at all, not even your own? Have you lost anything?

If i was in the situation i would give positive feedback to those who needed it, as you know losing is hard. on this board if we only gave feedback,welcomed and talked to the people that were on our personal plans then some posts wouldn't have any and others would have lots.

the goal is lose weight not get everyone on the same plan. You didn't say anything about them pressuring you to get into WW so don't understand why you had trouble with it. if you are on a plan you could talk about yours.

"And I don't want that obession. Isn't eating suppose to be enjoyable?? Is food the enemy??" well for most people it's what got them overweight and until they get in the mindset of how to eat correctly how can that person lose and keep it off?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 12:33pm
No, I'm not on a "diet". I overeat and have some issues with food. I'm trying to eat healthy and cut back on the sugars (ie carbs and sweets). I've been on all of them, from cabbage soup to WW and the issue is not diet, but why I eat the way I do. So when I was with them and they are analyzing everything that goes in their mouth and mentally calculating points or whatever, is that living?? And are they thinking, hey Lori should be taking some notes, she really needs to lose it more than us. I guess I'm realizing what a self-esteem issue this is when you are not doing something and it seems the entire world is.

Good points on changing the subject!! Should've done something, b/c it caused me to eat a lot more chips than I would've. Emotional eating, that's me!!!


((HUGS))

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Sun, 04-18-2004 - 2:19pm
Hi Lori, I think I know what you mean. Before I got serious about weight loss and other people talked about a diet they were on, or how much weight they lost, I kind of felt left out, too. But looking back, I think it was ME who was keeping me left out, not them. When I heard about what other people were doing, I would start to feel guilty about not doing anything about it myself, so I would just sit back and not participate, thinking that if I did, someone might try to say something like "oh, Linda, you should try this. It really works" or something like that. I know that they would mean well, but I just wasn't ready to hear it yet. I guess what I'm saying is that I would try and "disappear" from the conversation because I was afraid of what other people thought. I knew that I needed to lose weight more than anyone else that was doing it, but because I couldn't get myself going on it, I felt guilty and so I didn't participate in the conversations.

I think I'm like you, I can't see myself obsessing over points, carbs or calories. This works for a lot of people, but it never worked for me. I would do it for a few days, maybe even a week, then I would just get too frustrated and quit. I do try to read labels and make sure that what I'm eating is healthy. I also try to watch my portion sizes and not eat unless I'm truly hungry. I also exercise 4-5 times a week and drink lots of water. I took small steps, changing a few things at a time so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed. I'm still working on a lot of things, like the portion control and not eating unless I'm truly hungry, but I have made some small changes that have added up. Since the beginning of the year, I've lost 21 pounds. Now I know that this approach doesn't work for everyone, since everyone's different, but if you don't like the idea of counting calories or points like me, maybe it's something to think about. Oh, and I also don't deprive myself. I've actually learned to have just a small piece of chocolate or something when I really want it. I also believe that food should be enjoyed. I think it just takes some learning how to enjoy it without going overboard.

Good luck and come out of lurkdom more often! Together we will figure out what works best for us and we'll all become losers :-)

~~Linda

~~Linda