lol...you guys are too funny (MSN group)

Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
lol...you guys are too funny (MSN group)
26
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 4:15pm
OMG...way to restrict me from the MSN group. Guess you all want to talk about the scandal, eh? Top rate...lol

Sarah

Sarah


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 3:33am


I don't post here very often, but what was done here has made me sad, confused and maybe a little angry too. How can someone betray trust, friendship, support just to make a point?

To say you're sorry to offend some people, to have made someone cry-let alone someone who considered you a friend-but that you do not really regret it? That I cannot understand-where then is the sorrow and for what? To not cut someone some slack, even when YOU think they overreacted-when their reaction was fueled by hateful, mean-spirited and vile comments-that I cannot understand!

Yes, you'll live with the consequences of deliberately tricking and hurting just to make a point but somehow I don't think it will bother you very much.

Gerry

Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 9:03pm
Sarah, I just wish you would have stated how you were fed-up as yourself instead of how u did. Not everyone would have agreed just as not everyone would have disagreed. I mean you're not going to get everyone to agree caus everyone thinks differently. That's why

i am tired of reading people state 'regular posters'. I think people need to start stating when a post bothers them no matter who it is, in a good way (like saying is that necessary and maybe stating why it bothers you), how else are they to know? And if it bothers 1 it may bother more or using the ignore button on them. I don't think you intentially went to hurt anyone or thought that it might caus distrust on whether you have been one of the posters who said hurtful things in the past.

i agree somewhat on your point of jumping on someone who was rude on every post they make after that. Some posts are mild or not bad at all and they get attacks. I think it would be best to let them go but i know you can't pick how people are going to react/post. Then i think a few of them have been extremely rude in the past then you already have your guard up and may read it differently then people who haven't been put down by that poster.

hope the board gets under control and it gets back to people supporting each other losing weight and not lumping each other into groups. I wish you luck on keep losing weight whether you stay on board or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:42pm
Sarah, you were absolutely right to make that post and, under the circumstances, it was very courageous for you to do. And thank you for standing by what you said (there was nothing wrong with it) and for being an individual. Did you catch the Today Show this morning? If not, there are two books and one movie which should interest you and anyone else here. The author Rosalind Wasman was on talking about Queen Bees and Wanna Bees which is essentially a book about helping adolescent girls handle conflicts, the kind that evolves from being part of "group think" or clicks which go around school attacking other people. The author pointed out that, usually, girls grow out of clicks by 8th grade but when they don't that kind of behavior (like traveling together and calling people "trolls" here) is really more harmful to the members than to their victims. And if it doesn't go away by adulthood, then the people who behave as manipulative pre-teens grow into contemptible adults. There was another book, same author (and I'm not sure whether she's published it yet, but it was discussed) called "Surviving the Hive" which is directed at anyone dealing with, living with, the wanna bees and, well, it's about *surviving* the hive, perhaps helping those individuals, but rising above it and not becoming victim to it. The author pointed out that while this "group think" may seem just childish and immature, horseplay or *part of growing up* (at least, when 13 year old girls do it) it's really the heart of violence in our culture, and in schools. So there is a serious side. On the less serious (or at least humourous, until we look beneath the surface) there's a movie also talked about this morning on the Today Show. It's called 13 going on 30 and Jennifer Garner stars (it got rave reviews), about a 13 year old girl who wishes on her birthday that she was 30....and she gets her wish. There's a scene in a bar where she meets a girl who was a manipulative contemptable "groupie" in junior high school, and that woman (now 30) has never grown out of her name-calling mentality and she's a contemptable adult, rather pathetic figure. Anyway it's supposed to be a very good movie.

The movie may make us laugh, but if it works as comedy it also speaks to the core of a certain problem and allows certain people to see themselves more clearly. The book addressed to adolescents, Queen Bees and Wanna Bees, is very serious in nature, as is the one addressed to individuals who must live in the same world with the wannabees, Surviving the Hive. So for those, who want a recommendation for a "real book" (as someone criticized my offering of cookbook suggestions) here are, I think, two book recommendations which are *all too real* and speak to a very real issue, a problem some people have had of acting like children while adults, in calling others *troll* and now, it seems, for ostrisizing one of their friends for *speaking the truth.* Thank you again, saumomi, for speaking the truth and for being such a nice person about all this, fair minded and even handed. I wouldn't worry too much about the *ostricism* if I were you, because you're obviously better than that and you don't have the *need* (whatever *need* that fills for some) to chase around boards calling complete strangers *trolls* (and how silly is that anyway!)

You have a good one! Take care -- Forte

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:46pm
Sarah,

Don't sweat the small stuff. You stood up for the truth, spoke with honesty, and stood by your convictions. You have everything.....absolutely everything....to be proud of! You're an adult woman, and you've acted like it. I think the world could use a lot more decent people like you've shown yourself to be, by taking a stand. Good for you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:48pm
It was very well done. And she was perfectly right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:59pm
Is it just my eyes, or did the same person just post three times in rapid succession using the same screen name. havent been here in a while so im just wondering if that was a mistake?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:16pm
Its not your eyes Jen =)

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:21pm
Thanks for the book suggestions forte.

I don't want to cause anymore trouble on this board so I would appreciate just dropping this whole topic. I know that everyone seems to be moving on and past this (and I thank everyone for that) so I don't want to keep beating a dead horse if you know what I mean. I have been in contact via email with at least one member here and we have resolved our differences and I hope you can do the same with those on the board who have offended you.

Let's just move on and get on with our lives. I'm done with it and I hope you can be too.

Sarah

Sarah


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 4:16pm
Generally speaking, people of integrity who want to stand up for what they think is right and do it with "honesty", don't hide behind an assumed name and identity and lie to people they call their friends.
Avatar for angelinoh
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 4:20pm
Bad form, there's no need to keep rehashing this!