Problems 'sharing' weight?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Problems 'sharing' weight?
21
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:12pm
I wish we had more room on those title lines!! What I'm trying to say, is that I just had a personal experience related to an earlier question about whether or not we are willing to tell other people our weight - and it kind of surprised me!! I went over to the Atkins board and another forum, and they had a roll call just like we often do - name, stats, etc. Without even thinking about it, I proudly typed in "312/291/140" and hit "submit". Then I looked at the others - 175/155/1120, 160/140/115, etc. You know what I did??? I went back and erased the post. Half of me feels ridiculous for not wanting to "own up", but I was finally able to identify WHY I'm so reluctant to share my weight. Here, we all have fairly major weight struggles, so I'm comfortable that I will be accepted as an equal. But I guess I live in fear that the thin world will think I'm pathetic, weak, a slob, etc, etc. for my excess weight. Of course, with on-line no-one actually can see me - if I said I weighed 140 they'd have no reason not to believe me, but even in "real" life - where people can see perfectly well how heavy I am - I still can't confess the "number". My husband guessed my weight as "Getting close to 200" and I didn't correct him (after all, I had goaded him into guessing!). My best friend guessed 260, and I didn't correct her either. Here's my question - do you think that I'm correct that most people who have never been this weight WOULD be shocked that I'm nearly 300? I truly think so, because when I was 140 pounds, *I* used to wonder how ANYONE could let themselves go so badly!!

ps - Thank you all for giving me a safe place to NOT feel bad about myself for my weight.

pps - Rob, if you read it, I just wanted to let you know that I found your words below to another poster very inspiring - she was talking about her husband making unkind comments and you said something like "You are not just your weight". I know my hubby would feel the same way, although not articulate it as well - he's always calling me beautiful, Sexy and "Hot" even though I sure don't feel it. Thank God for me like you two ;-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:18pm
I only do with those I know won't judge me. Too many people will sit in judgement of you in this matter and I don't want to put myself through their asinine bias.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:23pm

I dont feel worried or scared telling people my highest weight or what I weigh now...anymore.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:27pm
I cant see what any one of you girls look like through the words you type, but I can get an idea of what your personality and mind are like. A persons weight doesnt make them uncool, unfun, unhumorus, unloving, or uncaring. You are who you are regarless of your size. Your husband seems to understand this very well.

Thank you for your kind words. I wish you the best of luck.

Rob

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:28pm
Yeah, I think that once I lose the weight, I will WANT to tell everyone my high weight. I can even picture myself telling my best friend -Ha ha! you thought I was only 260, but I had you fooled! But I think that is exactly it - once you've lost the weight, everyone can admire your strength and will power - they can't think you are a pathetic slob with no self control. When you are still heavy, though, I suspect that people respond with either shock, disgust, or pity - none of which I want to deal with! It was a funny realization, though - becuase on the board this morning I was feeling quite chipper and proud of going from 312 to 291, until I realized that everyone else there was under 200.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:33pm
you just think you know us...evil laughter snort snort evil laughter
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:38pm
Mel's a lucky woman :-)

~~Linda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 2:58pm
I feel just like you do - it's hard to share your weight with anyone, especially a stranger. I have not even told my husband how much I actually weigh but I'm sure he has a good idea because he is big also.

But you know, even skinny people don't like to tell their weight either. I would love to be able to say, oh, I weight 125 or even 160. I don't know why we are all like that. Maybe it's the way society "raised" us all. Women don't usually tell their weight or their age. It's crazy but it's almost like human nature or something.

But I really feel that we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves. Yeah, maybe we have gained more than the average person, but that doesn't change who we are. We are still the same person we were pounds ago. We still count! If you don't feel like sharing your weight, don't. But if you do, go for it. Take pride in who you are and don't worry about silly numbers. The greatest thing about it, at least we are all trying to do something about it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 3:13pm

I dont know if you guys have heard me and Amy (barkingshark) talk about the books we recently read but I thought I would mention them to you.

  Shawna-- Proud Cl for 100 Pounds or More to Go 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 7:49pm
LIED on your DRIVER'S LICENSE????

The third level is TOO good for you. Get down there with Tina, you bad, bad girl !

(And I also agree some people just need to die/be taken out of general circulation/need

their dance card punched.)

A Sharkey Fin-Spank to you !

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 7:54pm
Whenever and wherever I posted my weight, I got a tight feeling in my chest but did it anyway. I was like a affirmation of my weight, a concrete statement that I could not ignore, but had to face.

Post it when you are ready !

Amy

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