What is your story?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
What is your story?
23
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 11:01am

I know that several of you have talked about how you got to this point, but I have forgotten and was thinking about my own weight gain journey.

 

  Shawna

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 1:17pm
Shawna,

I gained weight eating on the run, eating out, not paying enough attention while being busy living. The lightbulb moment was abt a year ago, nothing spectacular....I just woke one morning and decided to "stop that" and take better care of myself from that point on. And that's exactly what I've been doing ever since. And it's been working just fine.

Good morning, to you!

forte

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 1:54pm
I was very thin as a child until puberty. Then I went through my ugly phase and got stuck!

I was fairly heavy until I met a wonderful boy my sophamore year of high school. I was so happy and the wieght just melted off. My junior year I only wieghed 130#. My senior year I gained about 10#'s. ( Why didn't someone tell me then what I know now.) The love of my life and I parted ways when I went off to college. I miss him so much and i was so alone. My freshman year of college I gained 15 more pounds. I met my husband that freshman year. I started on birth control my sophmore year and gained 60# in 6 mos.

My life was not going where I wanted and I began to eat more for comfort. ( If I only knew that I was going to have an eternal heart ache over my first love I never would have married my husband.) I ended up changing my degree because I ran out of money and needed to get out fast. We married the june '90 after I graduated. I weighed 200#. I was so lonely he was still in school and promised things would be different after he graduated so I agreed to have a baby. My son was born in April of 93. Husband graduated in May. I weighed 240 when I got pregnant. 265 after he was born and 240 after about 3 mo. We moved to the middle of no where that summer. I knew no one. I was so lonely. I had this new baby and didn't get out much. My husband was gone all the time and I began to eat for comfort again. My husband lost his job in a year. He told me he was never going to work again and He sat on the couch for a month before he finally got up and found job. I ate my way through that too. I then weighed about 265#. We moved to a bigger place in the middle of no where. By 1995 I was pregnant again. 268 at the start. 280# at the end. 265# within 6mos. I am pretty much still eating for comfort. I topped out at 296 about 1 year ago. I am down to 273.2 today.

I don't know that I ever had a big moment when I knew i needed to lose the weight. I've always had someone there to tell me how fat i was. My Mom, My Grandfather, and for the last eighteen years My A$$ hole of a husband. I've tried a couple of times in the past few years. I was quite sucessful in 1996, I lost 50 pounds, but then i got sick and my plan went down the tubes. Now once again I am trying. Wish me luck.

Hugs to every one, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 3:21pm

Brenda....I can only hope that your husband has changed.

 

  Shawna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 4:33pm
Ok, here's my story, it got really long, sorry!

I started gaining weight as child, I was fairly skinny until I was about 5 years old, then I started getting chubbier and never stopped. There wasn't one reason I gained weight, there were probably 100. The main reason I'd say was that I began to suffer from depression very young. I couldn't even say what age it started because I didn't even recognize what it was until I was a teenager. I always knew something was "wrong" with me, but I didn't know what it was or if/how I could get help. I didn't have family to turn to. My parents were divorced before I was born and my father was not in the picture. My mom wasn't the type of person to shower love and affection on her kid, my step-father was a jerk to me for a long time and definitely not someone who ever even wanted kids. My other family members picked on me a lot (not really about my size, just average teasing) and I didn't like it so I kind of distanced myself from them. I was really shy, I was a smart kid, and I was fat...so I was teased a lot at school and had very few friends. So the only source of comfort that I really had access to was food. For awhile I suspected I had some form of binge eating disorder. I never vomitted, but I'd have binges where I'd stuff myself full of fattening food and then feel horrible about it afterward...which would start the cycle all over again. I steadily gained weight, I occasionally went on "diets" but never really stuck to anything and didn't lose any weight.

Then I went halfway across the country to college and kind of got a new start. I met people who had no preconceived notions of who I was and they actually liked me and wanted to be my friend. I was very surprised by this and it kind of began to pull myself out of my depression. I met my future DH in an online chatroom, he was very kind to me, he'd listen to me and eventually it grew into more. For the first time ever in my life I was feeling pretty good about myself. Of course all that couldn't keep me away from the "freshmen 15"...actually I have no idea how much I gained because I didn't weigh myself then.

I moved to CO to live with him and his family. His mother cooked practically nothing but meat & potatoes and mexican dishes, all totally soaked in grease. She took it personally if I didn't like something so I had to kind of just grin and bear it. I gained some more, still not totally sure how much. By this time I was up to about 250 lbs. After we got married I gained another 15 or so. Then I decided I was tired of being fat, I wanted to get pg and be healthy so I started watching what I ate and exercising. I lost about 12 lbs before I got pg. After Ethan was born I weighed around 265, I tried for about 3 or 4 months and lost a little but it was really slow and really hard. Then, I started doing WW online and doing some walking. I got down almost 20 lbs...and then ended up pg again when Ethan was 6.5 months old.

After Ryen was born I weighed about 270 lbs. I joined Curves and tried WW again. But, the stress and emotional upheaval of having 2 babies to care for, Ryen's heart defect, open heart surgeries, therapy, tube feedings, dr appointments, etc, etc...were a lot for me to handle and I again turned to food to deal with it all. I got up to 285 lbs. Around the time Ryen was 6 months old I started feeling a bit better about everything and decided it was time I started working on myself. It wasn't really a lightbulb moment, just a "its time, I think I can do this now" moment. I still had a lot to deal with, and couldn't just turn off years of emotional eating so its been a struggle still, but I'm down 45 lbs. It's taken a year and a half, but at least I haven't gained it all back!

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 4:34pm
My story is that I was fit and firm as a kid and teen. I never weighed more than 130 lbs. up until I went to college because I played basketball, ran cross-country, and bicycled a lot. During college I went wild. Instead of going to class I partied, smoked pot (save the lectures) and ate mostly junk food. Beer and the munchies put around 10 lbs. on me. When I married dh I weighed 145-150: I was volumptuous, very happy with myself,Dh treated me like a hottie and that was enough for me.

Hubby was and is a snacker supreme. He eats all day long basically with not an extra pound to show for it. I fell into eating right along with him. I gained about 25 more lbs and then got preggers with my son. That added 50 more lbs that I never lost. The weight made me depressed and ashamed, so I hid out in my home and ate even more trying to smother the pain. Eventually, I broke free from that cycle but by that time I was almost 275 lbs. I started trying to lose weight again and was successful. I lost around 35 lbs. and then got pregnant with my daughter. I didn't gain any weight with her, but I didn't lose any after she was born either. I found myself home alone with a colicky baby and I started eating again. I got up to 310 before I stopped binging. Then I started feeling really lousy and went to the doctor and she ran through a list of health problems I had or soon would have and something went ****WHAM**** inside of me and I said "ENOUGH!"

That's what led me to where I am now. I'm not losing at light speed but I am finally and honestly going in the right direction.

Vikki

310/290/150

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 4:44pm
No one has ever asked me that before.

I was fine until fourth grade and a friend became a bit of a "bully" during school breaks on the playground, so I avoided the playground by extending my lunch breaks as long as I could- to avoid going outside. The longer I ate, the less I had to see her. Around this time I started to "sneak" food to prolong lunch, and I ended up continuing this at home because it started to make me feel better. I gained a lot of weight that year and my parents took me to a doctor, who recommended we travel 200 km every week or two to see a nutritionist... my first diet, age 10. I didn't understand at all and didn't like it.

Since then, I have always been overweight, and have joined weight watchers 3 times and visited nutritionists 3 times, etc. And I still have this problem sometimes with sneaking food, if I eat when no one sees me do it, then it doesn't count, right?? ha ha. (yikes)

My light bulb has been flickering for a long time but in January I was in France and I nearly got stuck in a toilet. LOL. It took me a few seconds to realise... the toilet was not too small...

So, am 1 pound away from losing 40. I am a bit nervous things will slow down because in the next month I have my graduation, I am moving 9000 km again, and then 2 weeks holidays seeing everyone I have missed!!! I am starting to think, maybe I can do this because this is the best I have ever done in 14 years of trying.

Kristrin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 10:04pm
Of course you can do this Kristin!

 

  Shawna

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 11:27pm
You know, I've never really set down and thought about it till I read this post.

Mine goes back to childhood. As a younger child I was skinny, yet taller then most kids. I grew pretty quickly. As each year passed I seemed to become a "giant" to the other kids although there were a few that still played with me I was basically alone. By 3rd grade I had grown to about 4'2'' tall. All the "older" kids called me giant and big bertha. Some of it I realized was because of my heighth, but most was because I was maturing quite quickly.

I was the first girl in my class to wear a training bra, well let's face it I skipped the training bra stage and went right into a bra in 4th grade. I wasn't "skinny" but I really wasn't heavy either. Well, people found out that I was living with no running water and no in door facilities and then started making fun of my for that. As they were making fun of me, I seemed to grab more to eat so that I didn't have to go outside for recess and listen to them all make fun of me. Eventually I started eating out of comfort because they were making fun of my all the time.

When 5th grade came around, I weighed prolly about 130 pounds and was 4'11'' tall or taller. So you can just imagine the names I was called. I've heard it all from thunder thighs to free willy. Every name you've ever heard someone call a "heavy" person I was called it. See another thing that didn't go well was I was the first girl to "mature" in my class so they made fun of me for it also. I just couldn't win. About halfway through the year, I went to see a nutrionist. That worked for a little bit, but as the teasing kept building I seemed to fall back to the comfort of my food.

As the years passed, I joined clubs and stuff to try and keep myself busy, but I just got made fun of there too. But I stuck with them, and didn't let anything get me down. As I entered High school, I knew the teasing was gonna pick up and sure it did, but by that time I had earned a few more friends that stood up for me. Although, I kept eating at home for comfort because of the names they were calling me that they thought I didn't hear. Well, at the same time, like any teenager, I wanted to go out and do things with the friends that I had, but my parents would never let me go. I couldn't go spend the night at someone's house or they come to mine. It was boring, so I ate to keep from being bored. Well, I topped out at about 350 and 5'11'' tall by senior year. Im not built small, so even after I lose weight the doctor is telling me that if I go below 190-200 pounds I'll look like a toothpick.

After graduation, I went away to college. While I was there I gained the freshman 15 from eating mostly roman noodles in my room because of the homework and stuff I had to do for my classes. Well, in my second and third year of college, I got involved with alcohol, drugs, and guys. So I put on a more weight. After I went through a down period, I decided it was time for me to come back home. So, I withdrew from college and "ran" home to my parents. I kept eating for comfort after I came home because I felt like a failure. Well, I transfered to the college here near my home, and started taking classes.

The light bulb came on when, after going to my doctor for a regular checkup, the scale there said I weighed 418 pounds. I was moritfied(sorry bout the spelling)! So, he gave me some suggestions, and one is the WLS that I have been talking about on here. And I started looking into it, and hopefully one day I will lose the weight I need too, and be healthier for me.

Sorry, for the story being so long :(

Longwinded,

Becca

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 11:36pm
Ahh that really was heartbreaking to hear Becca =(

 

  Shawna

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 2:29am
I have written my story on my webpage, but i'll go ahead and tell a slightly different version of it...

Well, I have had hypothyroidism since birth, so I don't know what "skinny" is. As a child, I would eat the same or less than my skinny friends, and I would still be chunky. I got made fun of every single day. I remember one day, we had to dress like professional something at school, it was like "Career Day", and I got on the bus being dressed up like a business woman, and one little boy said "What are you? A professional PIG?" Implying "Hey you're fat! Let's tell everyone just like we do everyday!" So, elementary school was hard..and then there came middle school in the same light, getting made fun of for being big. I'd lose weight, I'd gain weight, didn't really matter b/c they were the same kids.

Then, summer before 8th grade, we moved from KY to TN. I thought, hey, clean slate. Well, it started out that way, but eventually I started getting made fun of anyways. THen, I became depressed and started dressing in guy's clothes--big jeans and tshirts only, and my hair was all stringy and I didn't care b/c no one was looking at me anyways.

Then, in high school , I started dressing like a girl again, but it didn't matter. I never had a boyfriend until my senior year. I finally got one and he barely spoke English... then I started dating all sorts of mexican men and lost my virginity in April 2002 to a guy who used me 3 or 4 times during the year whenever he was horny...it made me feel good to be wanted for that all of 2 minutes...

I graduated high schoo in May of 02, and started college in August. I made out with a few guys, but nothing ever came of it..and I gained the freshman 30

Then in October 2002 I met Eladio..and he told me how much he loved me all the time, and called me, bought me gifts, and he seemed really sweet, except that he was a raging alcoholic...and on New Years we broke up and he tried to kill me several times. After I finally got him off of my back, I was working full time at Red Lobster in KY and had gotten kicked outa school, so all that stress made me lose about 10 lbs..so I was down to about 265..

Well, in Feb of 03 I met Roger, and he was sweet and AMERICAN and LEGAL lol(while still Hispanic), and we fell in love and I started gaining weight back...I was happy and healthy so I thought, lol, I started back at school in July, and I was having fun!

And then I was at my peak in October 03--285 lbs. I was sick when I saw the scale--SICK!

So, I went to a dietition, and started losing weight..so far I have only lost 30 lbs b/c I am a slacker and I can't stay away from Sonic (HELP MEEE!!) But anyways, that is where I am right now, 30 lbs lighter, and still 100 lbs from my goal!

Sara

~Sayruhb02

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