Unwanted advice/opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
Unwanted advice/opinions
7
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 9:47am
This has probably been asked before, but I'm putting it out there anyway.

How do you deal with unwanted advice or opinions about your weightloss plan or general health? How do you handle those "Little Mrs. Perfects" who go on and on about how you should be eating, exercising, and living?

Vivian =^)

~~Real women have curves and flaws~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:00am
Oh how I do enjoy this question. The key is to ignore, ignore, and if they won't let up, come up with a great quip. It is NOBODY'S business but you're own, and screw whomever butts into your lifestyle change. You can cheat every now and then, but that is STILL nobody's business.

Here is a list off of ivillage of things to do:

Here's a short list of tips for handling saboteurs:

1. Tune in to your support network and identify true friends and foes.

2. Ask for what you need and don't need.

3. Limit time with others if their behavior is a hindrance.

4. Avoid saboteurs who won't change their ways.

5. Keep focused on your personal goals.

6. Seek support from others facing similar weight challenges.

And this is the site for motivation.

http://www.ivillage.com/topics/fitness/0,,165573,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=2

~Sayruhb02
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 2:43pm
I have lost 171 pounds, and people have told me things like "you know the weight would really come off if you would do Atkins" or "you can have whatever you want on my diet- just in moderation. You don't have to eliminate sugar". Lately, I've been getting the comments from my (very overweight) family like "you're getting too thin" and "you people that lose weight never know when to stop". Now, these are people who know that I struggled for my entire life with my weight, yet they are going to question it when I am finally having success!!!???!!! It used to really bother me and I would almost feel defensive when people would make comments like that, but now I just tell them that I have found something that works for me, and that's all I need to know. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what they are doing, but I've tried pretty much everything in the book, and I know what works for me. Sometimes it's frustrating, but I don't let comments like that get to me and I don't let those comments cause me to feel defensive about what I am doing. I guess sometimes people can be threatened when those around them are making positive changes in their lives, but that's their issue, not mine.

Wishing it was Friday,

Lane

360/189/???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 3:00pm
Hi Vivian :)

 

  Shawna

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:18pm
Thanks to those that offered advice. I really appreciate it. The reason I brought it up is that I happened to cross paths with one of those "Mrs. Perfects" and she is a total nightmare. She goes on and on about this or that magazine article, this or that TV show, or some crazy medical study she dug up about dieting and healthy living. She is the most narcissistic, boring, and long-winded individual I've ever met. According to her she never does anything unhealthy-- ever. Funny thing is I found out from an extremely reliable source that she's a total fake and most of what comes out of her mouth is just garbage. My first instinct was to put my foot up her...well, you know. Then I considered exposing her for the fraud she is, but that would mean I'd have to invest time in the loser. I'm just so tired of her. I'd pay $$$ to avoid her presence, but that's not possible at the moment. How in the heck do people end up being like that? I really can't comprehend how they can live so long and not have figured out that they're offensive and socially inept! Who knows maybe she would rather be a know-it-all with no real friends. The situation would be funny if it wasn't so darn annoying!

Anyway, I guess I'll just develop a way to tune the idiot out. I just wish I could mute her!

Vivian =^/

~~When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.~~ Bernard Bailey

~~The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.~~ Aesop

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 5:25pm

I loved your quote about the center of the universe lol!


I deal with this at work.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 6:44pm
Seeing as I haven't perfected the art of projectile vomiting, I wait a second, look them square in the eye and say, "Why do you want to know ?"

THAT completely derails them most of the time, because it places the subject squarely on their noseiness.

I figure, if people are asking me too many ???'s about my weight loss, there is a reason they don't know. If I felt it was necessary for them to know, they already would have.

I actually used this tactic today on a friend, who was questioning me about something that was really NONE of her business. What a joy watching her squirm!

Try it, Viv, it's fun AND it works!

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 7:13pm
I don't think I have any advice, but I can totally relate! I once worked at a place that was doing a WW at work program (never again will I do an at work program. Too many people know your business). Anyways, whenever I would come back from the meetings, my boss would ask me how much weight I lost that week. I remember one time that I said that I lost half a pound, and she said "how come you only lost half a pound?" Drove me nuts!! She would also ask me every day "what did you have for lunch today?" I always felt like she was checking up on me and judging me. Since she was my boss, I didn't confront her, but I wanted to a few times! She was one of those people who was very nosey and had to know everyone's business. Oh, and of course she had all the perfect advice for me! Needless to say, I don't miss her at all. Fortunately, I don't have anyone like that in my life right now, and everyone's been very supportive. Sorry you have to deal with that b****.

BTW, I like your quotes, especially the one about the center of the universe :)

~~Linda

~~Linda