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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 6:52am |
I am so repulsed by my eating habits..and even more so whenever i get shot down...I'm so sick of hearing, "you have such a great personality and your so pretty, you'll find a nice man SOMEDAY"....It' seems like all the men I meet don't care that I can hold a conversation or that I'm genuinely interested in what they have to say...All that seems to matter is the fat that surrounds me...ANd then of course It just makes me feel so bad about myself that I pig out until I can't eat anymore or until theres nothing left to eat...Does anyone else have problems with the whole dating game? I know there are some really good guys out there, but they don't seem to live in the state of Massachusetts...all ever get are really old married guys who epitomize the word "creepy?

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Fear
I met him by becoming his friend first, and then him getting to know my personality and then thinking I'm sexy. That order actually makes for a much deeper relationship.
The best advice is to have faith in yourself. Be the bubbly happy person that you know you are. Be confident around men.
I think often overweight people lose their confidence in themselves because of the way they look. I know I do. But if you just suck it up, and show them that they aren't any better than you, than it doesn't make a difference. I think thats the biggest change I've made in myself. It makes you a lot more attractive.
If you really feel you can't do it, then work on your posture. Stand tall and straight. Chin above shoulders and smile. I promise that it will make you feel more comfindent regardless.
One of my friends told me that the lucky thing for me is that when I found someone, he would love me for who I am on the inside and not for what I look like. I laughed at her and silently thought no one was going to love me with this body. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!
I met my husband when I was 20. We were introduced by a mutual friend. We became friends first. We didn't even kiss until a year and a half after we met, though the attraction was there when we met. I'm 5'11" and probably weighed around 280 when we met.
In 2000 we married. To this day, even at my highest weight in the low 300 pound range, he thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm still in shock that I found such a wonderful, incredible man who loves me, unconditionally, just the way I am. It's even more amazing that when he touches me and says "I wish you could see how beautiful you really are" not only can I tell by his touch he sincerely means it but that I am finally beginning to beleive it myself.
The right person is out there for you! It will happen when you least expect it. Yes ladies, there are men out there that like women of size.
You need to stop beating your self up. Would you talk to your worst enemy the way you talk to yourself? I bet not. I sincerely believe there is a reason for everyone and some one special for each and every one of us. It's just not your time yet. You need to work on loving yourself just the way you are and everything else will come into place.
You are definitly not alone in this - believe me, I'm 33 and still trying to find the right one. I've gone through a series of boyfriends but I have a terrible habit of convincing myself that I'm too fat and they don't really like me...so then I shut down to prepare myself for the break-up (which I tend to bring on myself). Or, as one ex noticed, I move so often that I don't let myself get close to people - he told my that the man I marry will either have to be a millionaire or a waiter so he can pick-up and move when I get the urge. Frankly I'm opting for the millionaire but the odds for that are getting slimmer by the minute.
Just last night I was at a party and met the most amazing man - we clicked right away. The two of us sat and talked the whole night, even when he drove me home we sat and talked in his car for almost an hour. But of course when I get in my flat I convinced myself that there is no way he could like me, look how fat I am.
I, like most women and men, have to learn to love myselve and let that confidence shine through. I'm getting better at it but everyday it's a struggle. And just so you know, there are a lot of skinny people (like my best friend) who have the same issues.
One day it will happen so just make sure you're open to receiving that love and recognizing what a beautiful person you are.
Cheers
Lisa
I so TOTALLY agree with you!! Also in response to...
then you might want to sleep with the lights on!!!
That's what I'd tell those LOSERS who can see past the weight.
Elle
243/238/145 5'5"
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=ye7JHRn9zE&isbn=1582344280&itm=1
And you're only 22, enjoy being single, who wants to be tied down? I'm only 19, and if my boyfriend and I broke up, I'd be heartbroken, but when I got over it, I would love the single life. There are so many guys that I think are hot; and plus, I plan to work in a doctor's office--I could find myself a rich doctor ;)
Just be patient.
Hugz, Sara
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