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| Sun, 08-08-2004 - 3:10pm |
I finally got the courage up to actually post here- even so, I'm practically in tears as I write this. I don't know why really, I guess I'm just so hopeless about all this. I'd been skinny all my life, but about 6 years ago, I went through a really bad time and gained 120 lbs; since then I've added another 40. Actually, I'm not sure how much I really weigh since I've reached the end of my scale, but that's close enough.
I'll be turning 40 in a few months (which is a major block for me), go to grad school full time and work full time, all of which involves mental work- sitting at a desk reading, writing, doing computer stuff, etc. Diets and me do not work, but I try to eat reasonably well (sometimes). When I can get going on an exercise program (I have videos that I like), I do like them well enough. But something always happens and I stop- and when I think about starting again, I know that I'll start worse than I was. So I keep putting it off and putting it off...
To make things worse, my family is all in great shape- and there's some serious weight prejudice there. And to top it all off, I'm in therapy and on medication for depression.
I've tried losing weight by myself over and over and over- I have a little luck sometimes. I lost 20 pounds last year, but gained it all back and then some.
I can't afford anything like Jenny Craig (plus I know me, I'd never stick to a diet), but I'm hoping to find something here that will help.
Hope (deferred)

Hugs, Brenda
I am so glad that you have decided to post here! I hope you continue to, and i hope that myself and the others can be some kind of comfort and support for you. I know what it is like having hard times and gaining weight. When my daughter passed away (2 years in Nov.), I ate myself silly. That's all I COULD do. At that time , that is what i NEEDED to do to stay sane. Now, I feel that i am emotinally ready to make the commitment to lose wight. I don't know why, but something led me to this message board, and from the first day i was here (about a week ago) i feel like I have found the support to carry out my weight loss plan. The people here are so caring and understanding AND FUNNY! I haven't even told some people in my family I'm on a diet, because for one it is no ones business, and two, they will see the results for themselves. Don't worry about your family if they are unsupportive. If you are ready to do this, then go right ahead. The others and i will be right here with you! So be HOPEFUL! We are here for you!
Welcome, Hope.
Hello ((((Hope)))
I'm so glad that you decided to post here. It is hard trying to eat healthy when we are under a lot of stress or are feeling depressed. But you took the first step in the right direction by posting here. You just need to take a little "me time" to put yourself first. Don't look for perfection, just try to make one small change at a time. Try not to look at the big picture, otherwise it can get very overwhelming. I have a lot of weight to lose also. I'm just starting on my journey. It's a long one, but little by little, I will get there. My starting weight was 304 lbs (two weeks ago). Now, I weigh 299 lbs. My first mini goal is 250 lbs. When I reach that goal, I am going to reward myself with something special and wonderful...not food though. My second mini goal will be at 200 lbs. Your mini goals can be at 5, 10, 15 pounds. You can do it, Hope. We are here for you. *****Hugs*****
Keeyah
Hi Hope:
It is so hard to begin something you know is going to take time.
Fear
I totally agree with forte about your school's medical services maybe being able to help ... if they have any type of med school programs there, then they probably have professionals who would be more than willing to give you advice and get you pointed in the right direction ..... and most colleges always have gyms that are free or VERY low cost to their students, and that should be available to ya ... its definitely worth getting more info on ...........
I go to curves, if you can afford it ... its a good place to start as well ... i've lost about 12 pounds & 12 1/2 inches in the 2 months i've been going there ... i love it !
Brenda-
The suggestion about a smaller plate size is a simple one to implement, but is a great idea! Thanks.
I'm on medication and in therapy. I accidently found out that one of the side-effects of my current meds is weight gain. :( It's worth it, though- at least I can function.
I like the idea of putting starting/current/goal weight down. It'll help me with my denial (which I'm good at) and I like seeing how others are doing. It makes me feel a little less hopeless when I see that others have been successful in losing weight (even a pound counts).
aydynsmommy-
Although I didn't have to suffer through the loss of a child, that's how I felt: all I could do was eat and sleep. As I'm sure you know, it was tough dealing with (and still is). Most people don't understand why you can't "just get up and do it".
I won't tell my family about my trying to lose weight either; it's easier since I don't live near my family and won't see them until Christmas.
ladyirish317-
Does your family try to sabotage your attempts to lose weight? Do you think they see your attempts to lose weight as an attack on them? I'm impressed with all the progress you've made. I have no doubt that you'll reach your target goal!
Keeyah-
Perfectionism is definitely a problem with me. I want to do it all right and do it all now. It's not possible, of course, but I still get frustrated.
cl-voxpopulli-
I hope to change my name eventually to Hope (achieved). :) Drinking more water is something I'll try to start right away. Switching out unhealthy snacks for healthy is a little harder :)
forte10-
I'm getting counseling through the university. There's also a pool I can use, but there's no way I'm getting in a bathing suit.
gothratty-
I've heard good things about Curves, but I'm living on student loans and can't afford it.
I went through a Weight and Wellness program at school, but it didn't really help. It's good for some people, but just not me.
Hope (deferred)
Welcome! All of the gals here have made great suggestions - mostly to take it slow and make small changes, as you feel ready. I get overwhelmed when I think about the amount of weight I need to lose, but small goals really do help. Losing weight in 5 or 10 pound increments is much less daunting than thinking about the whole amount. Just know we are all here, in this together, and you can feel free to share with us. We can't dispense meds, but we're all full of experiences and advice (to use at your discretion!) And if I may say so... we're a pretty funny bunch when we want to be, and what's better for what ails you than a good laugh?!?! As far as the weight bars - beginning/current/goal weights, it is fun to watch the numbers drop as folks post... and don't think I'm not watching!! It's a kinda fun game for me to "keep up with the Joneses" It's the "Amazing Weight Race" Sometimes you hit a "Road Block" and have to put in a little extra effort and sometimes you get a "Fast Forward" and lose 3 or 4 pounds in a week! Just knowing that you are doing something for yourself that no one else can is a GREAT feeling. And we are here for YOU!!!
Take care and please post as often as you can!
Elle
243/235/145 5'5"/05Jul04*
*in addition to my weight bar, I always add my height, and as of this very post I have decided to add my start date to see how far I've come since that time.