I am so embarassed, that I feel sick

Avatar for heather_dw
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
I am so embarassed, that I feel sick
12
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 5:46pm
Ok, a little about me first. I always say im gonna start something to lose weight, but I never do. i want to lose weight but I just cant start, then IF i start I cant stay motivated. Well I think I need to lose about 100 lbs, i want to, i just cant, if that makes sense..

well, today i got a phone call from a relative that I havent seen in at least a few years and she was telling me about the lapband surgery and how i need to get it and that since i dont have health insurance, that I should make a website asking ppl for donations and explaing that my life is on hold because of my weight etc. She even said that I should contact talk shows, to see if they would pay for it! She told me the name of a doctor and is calling in a few days to see what info i found out. I just happlily said "yeah,..uh huh" to whatever she said. Im so embarassed as it is about weight, i dont go anywhere and I do not let a camera get anywhere near me. i wont even look at myself in reflective surfaces like mirrors, computer screen, etc. So this does not help my mental state any. I swear I feel sick to my stomach. Sorry to lay all my junk on you guys, but I really need to talk to someone.

thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 7:31pm
I truly understand how you feel. It was such a hard decision to start this walk. I had to admit this first I gained my weight out of fear and misunderstanding that truly had nothing to do with me. I was married to two men who ran around on me in broad daylight so to speak. I stayed married to the first for four years ( he was phyiscally abusive).

The second for 23 years. I walked away from both. I still was muddle in it and now I AM FREE!!! I have taken control of me. I have been on this walk and diet since June. I have lost 27 pounds. Your relative means well but did not understand that you are well aware of the situation you live the situation. The comments were well meant and thought to be helpful. I had the "kind" comments also and they broke my heart. I was struggling with the weight issue and knew I was way overweight DUH! My comment is this and it works for me I will take care of the temple God gave me you take care of your life and we will see how each of us fares. You have to start somewhere at some time. It will be your time and when you do you will be fine. Two months !!!!! for me that is a miracle but it was my decision NO ONE ELSE'S. I am able to handle it now because IT WAS MY DECISION. You may need to lose weight but no matter what anyone says to you IT IS YOUR DECISION and when you start. Words hurt but it is your decision and only when you decide can you do it. I would love to be your weight loss partner. I will help you when you fall down and I hope you will help me when I stumble and fall.
Avatar for heather_dw
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 7:57pm
Aww, thanks for your kind words.

Another thing that really gets me irritated about this relative is that why would she say to put on this website " my life is on hold, it is a disease, etc" I wonder if my mom has been talking about me to this relative. That means mom may be telling others too. That really upsets me. This realative could have called to say hi, how are you, not "you need to get surgery" She is supposedly getting it but she is not that big at all. I swear, some people have no tact.

Losing weight is such a large task, I hate when i diet because i never feel full, and i dont like most veggies, so i am always stuck. Where to begin? I guess I just need to set a date to start and go from there. I have a leslie sansone tape but i can only do like 5 mins of it, it is now shoved in a drawer because I am so ashamed because it was supposed to be such an easy workout.:-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 9:25pm
Hi Heather and welcome! I'm sorry your family isn't supportive of your situation, but this is a good place to find support when you need it.

I also want to encourage you to pull out that Leslie Sansone tape that you have. If you can only do 5 minutes, then just do 5 minutes. Don't be ashamed! Her tapes are great (I have a few myself) and I remember having trouble finishing the tape in the beginning. But I kept at it, and soon 5 minutes became 10, then 15 and so on. YOU CAN DO IT!

Also, surgery isn't for everyone, and if you feel that it's not for you, don't let anyone pressure you into it. Many people have lost a lot of weight without surgery. If it's something that you want to look into, then by all means do, but do it because it's what you feel is right for you, not because someone tells you that you should do it.

I'm glad you found this board. There are a lot of great people here who will help you with your weight loss journey no matter what you decide to do to lose the weight. Come back often :)

~~Linda

~~Linda

 

Avatar for heather_dw
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 9:31pm
Thanks for the welcome!

As for the Leslie Sansone tape, if I do 5 minutes, then pause it, rest a min and then keep going, is that effective? I mean, it is better than nothing? I was just so mad at myself when I got it. everyone had said how easy it was to do, etc, then I couldnt even do it :-P

yes, I do not think surgery is for me. It wouldnt get to the root cause of my weight, and the complications scare me. I know a few ppl who did well with it, but I also knew people that had an aawful time, kidneys shutting down, gained weight back, etc.

:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:05am
I think you should do as much (or as little) of the tape that you feel comfortable doing. If you want to pause the tape and then start it up again, then give it a try. But don't overdo it! If you want to just do the 5 minutes and shut off the tape for the day, that's ok, too. Don't worry about the fat burning at this point. You need to build your endurance first. Once you build up your endurance (and I believe it will actually take less time than you think) then worry about the fat burning, and doing the tape continuously. But go at your own pace. Like you said, even a little is better than nothing! Oh, and you don't have to do the tape if you don't want to. If you're more comfortable walking outside for 5 minutes, then you can do that, too! Hope this helps :)

~~Linda

~~Linda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 10:41am
Ahh Heather.

 

  Shawna

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:03am
Why would agree to something like that if it makes uncomfy? Tell that relative to mind her business. If I ever saw a website asking me for money to get someone surgery like that, I'm sorry, but I would just pass right over it. Everyone has their own problems, and they shouldn't include paying for a surgery that doesn't even concern them. I mean, the talk show thing is a thought, but if you don't like the idea, tell her you appreciate her concern, but butt out!

Sara

~Sayruhb02
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 2:31pm
Thanks for all the great words everyone!

As for the website deal. I do know how to make a website, but I don't even like people seeing how bad I look in town, much less all over the internet. Plus, I don't want surgery! The thought of it to me is really scary! It may have been different if I ever talked to this relative more than a minute over the past 3 years. Also, when she called it wasn;t "hi, how are you, etc,.. she just went right to the surgery and then she was like "I have to go, I am standing in line at a bank and they are closing?" To me, this doesnt seem like something to talk about it public, even if these people do not know me etc,








iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 8:35pm
I know how you feel. I weigh over 300 pounds I think. I know before I started this diet I was over 300. I have energy now and am pretty active. I joined Curves the first three times i went I went home wet wet wet wet. I was a sweating fool. Now I go 3 -4 times a week and yes I still sweat LOL. this time I am not talking about my diet my friends are super tired of it now I am showing them. I am here for you GIRL!!! It starts with 5 minutes then 6 then you will be doing the whole tape. It is that first step that first experience that counts..............take it and build on it. I played dress up last night which was a big big chance for me I got in the dresses I bought three years ago. Yes 3 years ago. That is how long it took me to get motivated. One day one step one pound. I am here for you.
Avatar for heather_dw
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 8:51pm
awww,..thanks for the encouragement. Today I actually did a few good things. I ate pretzels instead of chips. I never go anywhere anymore but hubby made me go to walmart with him and me me go into the restaurant to eat! (I hate that) we went to mcdonald's but instead of a hamburger meal with soda, I got the ceaser salad with grilled chicken and water! At walmart we still bought some of our normal bad food but i also got some apples and some low fat yogurt (i love yogurt) and some more bottled water. I am already hungry again though, but as soon as those apples get cold,..yummmmmmy!

tommorow im dusting off that leslie sansone tape too,..wish me luck!

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