My humble opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
My humble opinion
10
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:03pm
I used to post a lot on this board but have stayed away because of the habit of a few poster for responding with less than supportive posts.

I really want to ask people to remember that this is a support board for people trying to lose 100 or more pounds.

If you can't be supportive don't post is my opinion.

I think we should all - read twice before pressing the post button.

Are our comments really helpful and worded positively?

If not, why bother?

I come here for support and encouragement - not to be simply told "it's all about calories in"

furry

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:15pm
I agree Furry. I used to post often, back in Feb, then went away for a few months and came back. I lurk alot now instead of posting b/c of exactly what you said. I try to ignore those "bad" posts but sometimes I get so fed up. I think that it also keeps me from posting and responding to all the "good" posts cuz I just get fed up and don't feel like dealing with those who respond badly (from a certain group of posters) I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, but am now realizing that I agree with all of you guys about them. I actually started to enjoy certain posts and responses from one of them but alas, I'm almost afraid to post anything so someone doesn't take it the wrong way or go off on a tangent. Kudos to those who can just ignore it and let life go on.

Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:15pm
I so agree with you Furry. It has angered me and I have tried to ignore these posts, but it gets to the point where you just want to shake someone, lol. I have seen many people on this board who have almost completely lost their weight, Amy and Shawna, for example, who do not bash anyone, use sarcasm or try to make weight loss seem so easy. As I know I have said before, if it were so easy we wouldn't be here and I think it is just callouse and just plain insensitive to assume calories in and calories out is supporting someone or anyone can pass up the cupcake, etc. I have reported certain posters here who I feel should not be posting on this board. I just don't know what it is, these people seem to think they are being supportive but need to take a closer look at how they are hurting people's feelings in the process. I for one have decided to ignore their posts altogether, you have that option on IV. I know they are there, but I can't see their sarcasm and arrogant comments anymore. Their comments make me truly question if they or she has ever been truly obese and that maybe it is their way of venting from their own bad circumstances in life. Usually dysfunctional people like to spread dysfunction on others. I have learned this sad fact happens in all walks of life. I refuse to leave this board over it though. I think if everyone blocked their messages they might just disappear altogether. Just my thoughts. Hugs to you Furry! You are not alone!

Shawn and Heather Thornton 7/16/04


Heather and Shawn 7/16/04

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:19pm
:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:40pm
I agree with you completely! Well said, and much needed! I feel the same way.

Some of us know that this cycle has been going on for months, if not years, with some of the posters. They succeed in driving away a few of us, then start up all over again w/a new bunch. The best thing to do is try not to get too riled (sp?) up with their superior, sarcastic tone and replies. Its hard, but when you get involved in an agrument with them, that is exactly what they want.

Oops, guess I added my two cents to yours! Sorry!

Dawn

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:31pm

Here, Here.

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Fear

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:47pm
I am not sure if this will help with the dose of support reality that has been suggested but I have been lurking for several days on this board looking for support. I came to ivillage and then the 100 pounds board because I was feeling desperate and depressed about my weight. I needed inspiration and found little on this board. Mostly what I saw was arguing about nothing. I haven't seen one thread of constructive weight loss discussion. So if it is of any matter to any of the regular posters here, new people in need of support and help are being turned off by the content of posts. That is a true shame to all of the women looking for motivation and inspiration at ivillage.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:45pm
Sorry you feel that way. I think you have missed posts to people who have been experiencing a difficult time and want to run to food for comfort and all the people who have been urging them not to. This is a support board, and support comes in many different forms. I personally find alot of support when I ask for it and no one ever turns away a newbie. S/he is always welcomed w/open arms. "Regular" posters are different too. The people who "regularly" posted 6 months ago, are pretty much different than the ones posting now....with the exception of some wonderful folks who have been here a much longer time than I have (which has been since about October).

Alot of us find motivation and inspiration here. Perhaps you need to give it a second chance. The arguments are few and far between, and if you overlook them, you'll find a great place. If you focus on them, you're missing a great place.

Dawn

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 6:17pm
I agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 9:30pm
((((furry))))

Thanks for starting this thread. I know I come here for support and I try to be positive and encouraging to others. It would be so great if we could just keep focusing on our objective: To give and receive (((((support))))) regarding healthier eating habits and exercise. I haven't noticed a whole lot of negativity. But, then again, I'm not able to read and respond to a lot of the posts...so maybe I'm missing these post (fortunately). I know that I have found some wonderful, supportive people here. *****Hugs******


Keeyah

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:49pm
Thank you so much for posting this!

I've only been coming to the board for about a month now and even I have noticed a change since then. We all need to remember why we are here - to support one another not to be confrontational and get others upset.

Sure everyone is entitled to their opinions but we deal with so much negativity and cynicism on a daily basis do we really want to face it here too? I know after a long day at work when I'm tempted to nip over to the corner store and buy a chocolate bar, I'd rather see postings on here that offer kind words of support, humour, and success rather than the constant debates and bashing that have been going on of late.

Hopefully the right individuals read this and get the message.

Cheers

Lisa