Pardon My Backslide
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| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 5:21pm |
So, today, as disgusted/horrified as I was, I got my butt out of bed while Kyle showered, took him to work, walked around town and back streets for about an hour at a good pace, went to the grocery store, got mostly meats and veggies, and am going back on Atkins for a while. This morning when I got home, I had a few ounces of ham from our ham that we baked the other day, and for lunch/dinner, I got a couple tiny lamb chops (I hardly EVER eat lamb, but I LOVE it)and broiled them with Malabar pepper(freshly ground - YUM!), sea salt and fresh rosemary, little bit of garlic. Never cooked lamb before, but it came out PERFECT, so I had the choplings with a small salad. Before that I had a couple TBSP of peanut butter cause I was starved.
SO, no more bread, cake, lo carb pasta, mashed potatoes...for carbs it's going to be veggies, berries, fat free plain yogurt, and apples. It's an all or nothing thing for me, and I can't just have 'a little' of something, like cake. The NANOSECOND it hits my mouth, a chemical reaction takes place and if cake was a drug, I'd be a junkie. Crack? NO, CAAAKE!
I have come too damned far to start going the other way, but I took a firm grip on it today and hopefully will keep this monstrous eating disorder I have under control. Hey, it may not be anorexia or bulimia (why puke up perfectly good food?!?) but the mindlessness that comes with eating things in inappropriate portions needs to be addressed.
Oooh! There's a fly on the keyboard. I think I'll eat it.
Anyone know the carb count for a small housefly?
Thanks for listening to my whining....
Amy (moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo)
265/162.5/150

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Oh boy am I ever feeling ya Amy.
Hope you do well on getting back under control. Let me know how to do it cuz I'm sick of being out of it (well, control that is!)
Dawn
One day at a time, I guess.
Amy
Soooouuuu-iiii !!! Here sharksharkshark!
That about sums up how I feel today, Scale screamed "get the *&!@! off me!!!" this morning. Really.
Amy
I am lucky in the respect that when I have had *enough*, I have the insight and the emotional wherewithall to put the kibosh on my behavior. I had to learn it, because 10 years of eating out of control got me to be 265 pounds. It wasn't easy, but neither was being 265 pounds!
Today is my first day of getting a handle on the Impending State of Bovine-ness, and I feel better already. I had to work 11pm to 7am, and had an apple at work, some ham this morning at 7:30, walked for an hour, had some PB for a snack while I made dinner (broiled lamb & salad)and some coffee.
To quote other posters here, it is *my choice* to eat what I want, and it is also my choice to think about why I do this and get myself back on track.
Hugs,
Amy
I have an awful mind -- I also thought you said, "Pardon my backside," and that you were changing your name to Mooningshark!
It's amazing, once you get to know your body, that you can time a food reaction to the MINUTE after eating it. Breads, cakes, pastas and fiberless starchy ANYTHING will make me tired to the point of being narcoleptic, cranky, extra short attention span, makes my semi-Tourettes go POSTAL. I eat proteins and veggies/complex carbs, and within six hours I feel better and start peeing off the excess water.
That is hysterical that you too thought I wrote 'backside' and 'mooningshark'...got butts on the brain , LOL?.. I could try for A$$shark! Like a hammerhead, only with a butt-shaped head. With only one eye.
Did I type that?!? Shame on ME!!!!
Amy
Hey Amy:
I know exactly how you're feeling girl.
Fear
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
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