Here you go Shawna
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| Mon, 08-30-2004 - 9:48am |
Tuesday I got a call from my ex fiances son, his dad was in the hospital he had a heartattack.
I called one of my friends and asked to borrow the money to fly out there and booked the flight within 20 minutes of that phone call. I was on my way that evening. This person and I had dated for 4 years and I left our relationship after I had found out he was cheating on me and lying to me all of the time.
I flew in after many delays, hyesterical I was not going to get my chance to say goodbye. He was fine when I saw him. I cleaned the house did all the laundry and made him a few healthy things to eat and threw them in the freezer. Took the kids (not really kids they are 22 & 24) (I am 28). I was in his bedroom where I was staying and putitng away his laundry and came across a box with some of my stuff that I had left behind and looked in it to find an engagement ring for someone else. We are not together so I could not be bothered by it. I had been listening to his cell ring and ring about 20 times that morning with the same # that had been calling it was the woman I found him cheating with. I answered the phone explained to her why I was there and told her I felt we were all adults and I would have wanted her to do the same thing so I wouldnt worry to death about him. She called later that afternoon and I updated her on his staus. I also told him I had spoken with her. He seemed fine.
He came home yesterday where he locked himself in his room while I went out to the couch so he could make some calls. After an hour I had not heard him move or anything so I decided to check on him. I knocked on the door, called out his name knocked again and nothing. I turned the knob it was locked. I pounded on the door fearing the worst and he came out a few minutes later upset with me because he had obviously told her I had gone home. We exchanged words I told him I cared enough to be out there for him and he asked me to stop patting myself on the back thre my cell phone at me and told me to go find a hotel room and my own way there. I did.
All in all it was horrible the fear of losing someone I cared about at one time, being faced with the woman and come to find out the WOMEN in his life and having him treat me like I was dirt. His son drove me to the airport hotel, sobbing and he said he was sorry for his fathers behavior. Ironically the week before this Terry had called his son was in jail and needed help with getting him out and I did. If I wouldnt have he would have been home alone when he had his heartattack and probably would have died. I am thankful I helped and sad that it went this way.
I stayed OP the whole time I was there even last night when I was at my lowest point.
I am going to get weighed in tomorrow since I missed Thursday nights weigh in.
I am hoping I get decent results.
Take care everyone.
~ JODI ~
293.5/241/175


It was a huge eye opener but it was a igger test I guess. I was so upset when I left I couldnt even think.
Not sure what is going to happen from here. Regarless I will always love him but at this point its obvious he never felt the same way.
I could write a book on everything that has happened but that is for a different board I suppose.
This really sent me into a deep depression. I always knew she was there but hearing from her and knowing he was more concerned with her feeling than mine, even with me sitting right in front of him hit me kind of hard.
Not sure what is next, I wasted some of my vacation time going out there. So my trip back home is not going to happen or not as long.
Life goes on.
I know that you directed your post to Shawna, but I just wanted to send you a hug. As you stated in your last post, "Life goes on". I know that it's easier said than done, but it is time to move on. You have been there for him through thick and through thin, but if you keep giving and giving and not receive anything back, you will burn yourself out. I'm so proud of you that you stuck to your program. You need to pamper yourself, take some "me time" for yourself and realize that you are a better person and you deserve better. *****Hugs****
Keeyah
Oh Jodi!
Sometimes men can be such Jacka$$es.
Fear
I wish them well in their future together, hopefully they are happy together, we were or I thought we were at one time.
As for me, I am almost halfway to my goal. I have lost 58 #s and I have another 60 to go. I am hoping I will make it and keep up the good work, this is the first time in my life I have really dedicated myself to this and I am commited.
I want babies and I realized over this last week I need to keep getting healthy mind body and soul in order to have a little one in my life.
No man required these days and I am sure that will end up being the road I go down. I want to be a mom and having my ex's kids call me to help and me going made me realize I am ready.
I wanted to thank you guys for really listening to my off topic meltdowns.
~ JODI ~
293.5/235.5/175