OT - I am at my ropes end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
OT - I am at my ropes end.
21
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 8:20am

Hi all.


This is way off topic and I am sure its going to be long, but I needed to vent.


I had a decent weekend filled with house work and some real work.


My ex husband and his family have been in contact this week because one of his siblings passed away and was close to members of my family. Well in the news of all this happening I was informed he is getting remarried. Not only was I shocked I was really upset as well. They are planning all sorts of things when we had a civil ceremony. They are planning on having children when the thought even came up between us it was shot down and now I am trying so hard to have a baby by myself.


I am honestly hurt more than I can imagine. With this and the episode two weeks ago with the ex b/f that some of you know about I am barely hanging on. I stayed OP because honestly my stomach was turning so bad I couldnt even imagine eating a damn thing.


I cant understand why in the world I cant even seem to have a man notice me and he of all people is getting married again. He is marrying someone from his culture. He is from Lebanon and I know he married me to get his green card so purpose served I guess. He filed for a divorce 6 weeks after he got his citizenship. So he got what he wanted and moved on. The ex b/f well I was there because none of the other women were stupid enough to move to him. But I was.


I am seriously depressed, I am not thinking about going to the gym at all I want to lock myself in my room and forget I exsist.


J


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 9:18am
Jodi,

Don't tear yourself down about this, please girl. It is not your fault. Like I've said many times on this board, it took me a loooong time to find my perfect man; a lot of one night(ok--five minute) stands, alcoholics, drug addicts(and dealers--the money wasn't bad lol), and finally I found Roger and I thanked God b/c I wasn't going to get used by all these stupid guys who called me fat when they weren't doing me.... one actually did...and I still did it anyways--good self-esteem huh!? But trust me, you will find someone--the one, there is someone out there for everyone and you will find him okay? I swear to that, you will find him.

((((((((((Hugz)))))))))))

Sara

~Sayruhb02
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:19am
Im sorry Jodi :( I dont really know what to say to because I know your hurting and there isnt much I CAN say to make that hurt go away. But thankfully you have ditched both of those guys and your moving on. You dont need a man to have a baby these days...Im sure you will be a great mommy without a man in your life. And when the time comes, you meet the RIGHT man, then maybe you will have children with him as well.

Hang in there babe...you will get through this :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:32am

Thanks ladies.


The idea of having a baby alone is the way to go at this point I guess somewhere along the line I was thinking that someone would love me enough to want to share that with me. Life goes on.


Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend.


J


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:26pm
A bump for you Jodi :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:34pm

Thanks babe

~~ JODI ~~


HOOK EM HORNS!






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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:42pm
Hey Jodi,

I know I don't post much around here but I do read often and I've seen what a strong, determined woman you are. I can imagine the thought of your ex getting remarried is hurting you...but know that there IS someone out there who will love you enough to love you forever. You deserve a man who will appreciate you and never take you for granted, a man who will cherish his time with you and want to have 20 babies (ok, maybe not 20!). You know that you deserve only the best. :-) I'm sending you huge hugs and sending up positive thoughts for you. You are strong...don't let anything derail you.

Hugs,

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:55pm

Thanks guys.


I am really in the dumps more so than actually getting divorced. To think I was torn over two men who used me and than discarded me when they were ready to move on. I have nothing to show for it other than the fact I have come to the conclusion I am out here by myself. I dont have a family (both my parents are gone). Just kind of scary.


I doubt the man thing will happen and I guess at this point I am not even sure I really care. I think I am hurting knowing he finally grew up enough to be a REAL married man. Also realizing I wasnt enough. Neither of us were I suppose.


Its tough living in a new city, I have nobody here there were lots of things going on here and I was headed up to an art festival alone when I heard the news. I just turned around and went back home realizing I was going to place where people (most of them) were with someone. Perhaps just a friend but I didnt have any of those to call here.


Oh well life goes on.


Sorry to be whiny this really isnt me. I am getting more and more used to the fact of being out in the world alone. But I have my days.


All of you have been fantastic and I thank you for all you're kind words.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 2:02pm
Hi Jodi,

I'm so sorry that you're hurting. You don't deserve to be treated that way. But I know that one day you will find happiness. Hang in there, and the hurt will eventually go away. And just remember, you deserve to be loved by someone who treats you special. I know that someday you will find that someone. Don't accept anything less than that.

(((((HUGS)))))

~~Linda

~~Linda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:45pm
Oh Jodi...

(((((((((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))))))))

I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I have been in a similar situation myself. I had this boyfriend through most of highschool. He seemed great. I mean, he HAD to be great in order to start dating one of the fattest chicks in school right? At first things weren't so bad, but then he started working on my already miniscule (sp) self-esteem. He'd refer to me as his fat-(use your imagination) to his buddies. His nickname for me was Chunk (like the kid from Goonies). And, I sat there, and I took it. The last straw actually fell when he took a car cigarette lighter and "branded" me. He told me that was HIS mark and now no one else would ever want me.

I didn't have a bf for a long time after that. Then almost 2 years to the date that I shut the other guy out of my life, I met Corey (now my hubby). He was everything Eric wasn't. He was sensitive, and understanding, and he loved me for me. He alwasy tells me I'm beautiful, and he MEANS it.

Don't let being alone get to you, Jodi. The right man is out there searching for you this very second, and when he finds you, it will be perfect.

Keep your chin up Girly,

Critter

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:57pm

Thank ladies.


Just one of those things.


Not everybody has somebody, some people dont even have families.


I am not a romantic anymore, and have long gotten over the fairytale of being married and having someone actually ask me for the right reasons.


Now its just time to put my nose to the ground with work and bury myself like I have before. I used to work 90 hours a

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