New and out of CONTROL...(m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
New and out of CONTROL...(m)
6
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 8:12pm

Hello Everyone,

I don't know exactly where I belong but I'm coming to this group because I do have 100+ pounds to lose (104 to be exact). Let me start by saying that I was not always fat. 7 years ago when I got married is when the 100+ pound weight gain began. I have never in my life been this fat and it scares me. I am extremely depressed and upset about everything about myself and what has happened to me physically and mentally. I was always an upbeat happy and healthy individual and now I am depressed, angry and just miserable to be around. I really can honestly say that I hate myself the way that I am.

Now my problem isn't that I don't know what I should or should not be eating. My problem is that I can't control myself. Everytime I go to the market I get at least 2 huge candy bars and binge on those before I get home so no one knows. If you look in my purse right now you will see candy wrappers. I just can't stop eating and I don't know why. And the more I think I am determined the more I eat! I feel like I don't have any will power at all.

I am 31 married with 2 kids (4yrs and 1yr) I go to school full time and this can not be what life is for me. I keep thinking how can I be 31 and looking like this? Its depressing! I can't turn a head for the right reason...I get heads turning saying "ow my God look at that women!"

Any advise would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know where to turn or what to do.

Thanks for listening

Christine
Pennsylvania

Weight 234
Goal Weight 130 (104 pounds to lose)

FAT: 46%
Goal FAT: 17%

"Your no good to anyone if you aren't good to yourself!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 8:38pm

Hi Christine and welcome to the board.

Control has always been an issue for me (most likely for many of the other women here) so I know where you're coming from. I'm also very familiar with the binge eating when no one is looking...I've been doing that for years. It's only been in the last 8 months I've finally gained control over it.

This past year I came to realize that I was worth much more than those bags of chips or chocolate bars. It wasn't easy and I'm still tempted (and occassionally give in). But I'm doing much better than I used to.

I hope to see you on the board more often. I think you'll find a wonderful group of women more than willing to offer support or kick you in the bum when you need it.

Cheers
Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 9:19pm

Hello Christine :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 9:47pm

Hi Christine,
I totally hear where you are coming from. I have been right there with you, with wrappers stashed under my front seat or in my purse, out of control, feeling disgusting about food I ate so fast I didn't even taste it.

I don't really have that out of control feeling anymore, but honestly I also haven't lost weight. I've been trying to work on my eating without dieting because for me (and I can't speak for anyone else) dieting triggers binges. So, one thing I've done successfully is to pick the food I really crave (say a donut or whatever) and buy it, but then just try to wait 10 minutes to eat it. A lot of time that ten minutes makes all the difference in the world and I can still eat the food and enjoy it and not trigger an all-out free for all binge.

The other thing is to actually sit down with the food and taste it. I'm bad about reading magazines, working, or messing around on the computer when I eat. SO, then I eat and don't feel like I ate since I didn't pay any attention to my food and I want more, so I eat more even though I'm not hungry. This one is hard for me, though, but when I am able to actually sit and enjoy food instead of scarfing I feel more in control.

I hope that helps. I'm glad you posted about this!
Erin

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics
Mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 2:17am

Hello. I am new to this board and this site. I am 35 and been gaining since high school but really over the last 11 years have been very out of control. It is actually effecting my health now and I just dont even look good even in my cute clothes anymore. I finally broke down and joined Weight Watchers a couple of weeks ago. It has really helped me to have the support and accountability. The accountability is really key for me. If I didn't know I had to weigh in after a week then there are several times this past week I would have really messed up. Also, the leader looks great and has a very nice figure. I saw pics of her when she started and they look a lot like me. Another lady today just reached her goal weight. She lost 107 pounds in 15.5 weeks. She said she averaged about 1.5 lbs a week where one week she lost several and the next week none and so on. Without giving up she kept up the routine and now is at her goal.

This is very inspiring to me. It is results I am able to see. I finally am at a place in my life where it really matters to me. I want to find a husband, have children and live a healthy lifestyle. I want to be fit for my wedding and honeymoon. I want to feel good when I am pregnant and want to be able to run and play with my children.

I hope to gain a lot of inspiration from the girls here and shed a lot of pounds over the next year and a half and keep it off forever.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 10:26am

Hi Christine, I am also new here and I am in the same boat as you I started putting in weight after I had my two kids Kiefer(3) and ryker (1). I never put on alot of weight while I was pregnant, but I put it on after the baby was born. We've had a run of bad luck, the place my husband worked at 2 years ago closed and it is very hard to find jobs where we live. I made everything better by eating candy, and I didn't want him to know because I never over ate until then.

I hope this message board will help me, and because of medical problems with my baby I can't afford weight watchers or curves right now so I am hoping this board will help me get to my goal weight. Right now I am 150 I started out at 153 last Monday. I am at 35 percent and hope to get to my goal weight of 150. I hope to here from you more. Good luck on your weight loss.

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 3:35pm

Thank you all very much for your kind words. I have to say that I never knew so many people did what I do and feel the way that I do. It's so hard being fat in this society. I think also that my husband and I have been way over our head financially these past several years that this also triggered my binge eating to mask the issues and avoid confrontation. Money really makes me stressed when I don't have it. When we have lots of money I am a different person.

I hope that you all have luck losing your weight. This week I did lose 3 pounds so I guess that's a start.

Thanks again
Christine