fear of failure

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2005
fear of failure
5
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 4:40pm

I'm fairly new to this whole message board thing, and don't really know what I'm doing.

My obsession with my weight began at 5 years of age. I grew up smothered by my criticle, overbearing, well-meaning grandmother, and stood in the shaddow of my perfectly gorgeous, golden goddess of a mother. Needless to say, these life experiences left me somewhat... jaded.

When I was 16 I met and fell in love with the man I recently married (3 months ago!), and I am only a shaddow of the person I was 6 years ago. We met when my 5'10'' frame carried a toned musculature from playing 4 years of high school basketball. I went away to school 1 year into our relationship, and my first year of college was a total disaster. I slipped into a severe depression, missing classes, sleeping excessively, and avoiding my feelings of loneliness by filling myself with food, gaining 60 lbs. over the course of 2 semesters. I thought if I came home my depression would stop, and it pretty much did. My now-husband didn't care that I had gained weight. He told me he didn't even notice and swore that I was just as beautiful as the day we met. Although the depression did subside, I continued my bad eating habits and have now eaten my way up to 260 lbs. I now weigh more than my husband!

I want to be at a healthy weight for my body, but it seems like I'm consumed with regret over my failures. I see that many of you have lost weight. I see your graphs and I read your stories and am inspired, but I remain fearful of failure.

Any response or words of encouragment would be GREATLY appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 5:36pm
I KNOW EXCATLY HOW YOU FEEL I HAD THE ALMOST THE SAME KIND OF LIFE.I GOT ALL THE WAY 294 AFTER MY 3RD CHILD AND I KNOW AM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT..NEVER STOP TRYING AND I HOPE U DO WELL..PLEASE REPLY IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME FRIENDS...BYEXX
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 5:51pm

Hi Jaded :)


You cannot fear failure...you wont even know if you will fail if you dont start!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 6:33pm
Hi,
I think you will find that many of us also have the same fear of failure. With me, I have failed so much in the past I can't accept that I could ever be thin. One thing I have found is that once I start experiencing success the more I believe I will reach my goal. Even now, 50 pounds lighter than a year ago, I still get so scared that I am going to start eating like I used to and gain everything and more back. Set little goals and celebrate your success. I really believe that if you keep trying you will reach your goal. sharla
Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 7:01pm

Hi, jaded!

    
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:12pm

Hi Kelbel, and thanks for your encouragement.

I would enjoy talking with you and discussing our individual journey's. We can aim to support to each other's goals toward weight loss and a healthier lifestyle!

Are you doing anything specific to lose weight?

Here's what I'm doing AT THE MOMENT:

1. Trimming the fat/ calories from my diet by cooking more meals at home, and
2. Exercising using DVD's at home - mainly yoga and pilates, but am also walking and lifting light weights.
3. Also, my vice is ICECREAM. I bow down before it and am rendered helpless in it's cold and creamy goodness :) So, I bought the No Pudge Icecream Bars made with Splenda. They are low on calories and fat, and taste pretty good, too - strawberry is the best.

Hope this encourages you or gives you some good ideas!