My husband is such a jerk!
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My husband is such a jerk!
| Sat, 04-02-2005 - 4:37pm |
My husband is such a jerk! We are in marriage counseling right now (for the 5th time) to overcome all the horrible things he said and did to me because of my weight. (Don't get me started, I could write several books about them...) I was talking to him about what the therapist asked me to think about, and he got right back on the weight issue. Basically, I told him I didn't think I would ever feel attractive to him. Then he said, what would it take for you to lose weight!
I couldn't believe he did it again!! Jerk. He KNOWS how much it hurts my feelings, he must be doing it on purpose. I am ready to pack up my stuff. Almost 4 years of this is more than I can take.
-Denise

Denise,
That is horrible that he says those things. True love means to be supportive of one another. My friend went through a similar situation with her husband. He put her down about her weight daily and totally messed up her self esteem, and that caused her to gain even more weight. She put up with it for 7 years and then left about 1 1/2 years ago. She is doing so great now and is dating a really sweet and caring man who loves her and her extra weight.
Just remember that you are doing your part and that you are putting the effort in by going to counseling. He if really cares about the marriage he would work on what the therapist says and not hurt you.
Wendy
Denise I suffered greatly at the hands of my ex husband please read on:
My ex husbad was verbally and physically abusive. When we first started out he was just verbally abusive and I thought " well at least he's not hitting me". But the things he said got worse and worse. My weight (at the time 199 lbs.) became an issue and he wouldn't let it go. Then I got pregnant and he was thrilled. When he found out we were having a boy he was even more thrilled. Then one night we were out to dinner and I was starving I ate everything on the way to the car he said something about how I was going to be a fat pig and I said I didn't care as long as the baby was healthy and he could (insert expletive here)himself and he slapped me so hard I fell on the ground. I was 7 months pregnant.
By the time Nikolas was 2 I was 230lbs and his father was beating me every day I was too scared to leave and I had no where to go. I didn't think my parents would take me in after I had left home at 18 to marry this scumbag. He was constantly yelling at me about how big I was. Finally, one night he hit my son....then he beat the liiving crap out of me for trying to protect Nikolas. My mother witnessed the whole incident. She immediately called the police and my husband spent the night in jail.
I was finally ready to leave him and I did just that. I am divorced and back in college. My life is wonderful. And while it has been a year and a half since this all happened I am still not quite ready to date. It's not the physical abuse that worries me. It is the verbal abuse that rings in my ears, keeps me awake at night.
Don't let your husband treat you like this. I'm not sayiing leave him but don't let him treat you like dirt either. If he thinks he can verbally push you around he may begin to physically push you around. I am here if you need to talk. Remember it's not about anyone else it is about you.
Mikiya
I am so sorry you are going through this. If he doesnt accept you now he may be threatened by your success later. Maybe the next time you see the counselor you could request an additional time for private counseling. I am sure you know just how to hurt your DH if you chose and am glad you are taking the high road. I have a response below just for a chuckle. (hope you enjoy it)
"Gee HONEY - I am pretty sure it will take A BETTER MAN THAN YOU to help me change."
praying for you!
Valerie
Thanks, everyone. I just feel so frustrated because he has been told time and time again that this kind of behavior is unacceptable, but he just doesn't seem to get it. He and I have resolved or are in the process of resolving many painful issues, but this one doesn't seem to ever get any better. This time he claims he only said it as an idea to help me feel better about myself. Whatever, as if I am stupid enough to fall for that.
Thanks for the support. I haven't lost any weight since joining this board, but I read. Someday I will lose, too :)
-Denise