Arrgh! (mini-vent)
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| Fri, 04-08-2005 - 3:38pm |
I love my boyfriend and I love his family, but sometimes...ugh! Well, I've just started bck on this journey to get healthy again and I'm taking it day by day right now. I knew when I started this that tonight would be family night, and his sister told us last week that we were all responsible for bringing a snack/appetizer food. Well, always “snacking” with my boyfriend and his family is a lot of the reason I am back to this size, because they are a junk food loving family, and my willpower has been next to nothing. So, since I knew we were in charge of a snack, I’ve been trying for the past couple of days to come up with a healthy recipe that I know I will be able to eat and everyone else will still love. This way, I figured that I would know I could eat something while we were there and not have to worry about the fat/calorie content. Well, my boyfriend just called me and told me we have now been told by his sister to bring cookies/brownies. We’re supposed to be there in just a few hours! We don’t have time to make both the cookies/brownies and the snack I had planned, so I’m going to have to find something I can take just for myself from the store…ugh. I’m sure it’s not really all that big of a deal, but I’ve been a bit grumpy the past couple days, and this just ticked me off!
Ok, I feel better now. Thanks for letting me vent :)!


Does your b/f know you are trying to be healthier?
Fear
Ok, just wanted to re-visit this post and say double UGH! As far as the party the other night is concerned, my boyfriend does know and support that I want to lose weight and get healthier. That said, he doesn't know how to say no to his sister. She can be a bit pushy. He mentioned that I was trying to eat healthier, but she was like, "well, isn't it better to make a cake/cookies and take it somewhere and not have it sitting around". Well, that may very well be the case, but wouldn't it be better to just not have it around at all? I'm usually not this worried about foods, but since I just started eating healthy again last week, I know how easy it would be to get off track and stay there. Anyway, I ended up taking fresh strawberries with me and eating those. I also did treat myself to one serving of artichoke spinach dip with chips and it was good.
Now, for the second UGH! I love my boyfriend, I really do, and he is very well meaning and wants me to succeed at this because he can tell that I am just not happy with myself. But he has an opinion on everything! I was talking about my eating plan, 5-6 mini-meals a day, and he was trying to argue that 4 is better, because, according to him, it's easier to stick with. Easier for who? Not me. And, as smart as he may be, he just doesn't really know all that much about calories. He has a body builder friend who once told him that if you get your body used to eating X amount of calories a bunch of times throughout the day and then switch to eating the same amount of calories in only 2 or 3 meals your body will store the "extra" calories from those meals as fat and you will gain weight while eating the same # of calories. I tried to explain to him that if you eat only the calories that your body needs you will not gain weight, no matter how many meals you break them in to. He just does not accept this to be true. I know that he just really doesn't want me to fail, but he just doesn't seem to understand that I know what works for me and has worked for me in the past. We spent almost 2 hours debating the ins and outs of weight loss and calories, etc the other day, and he still didn't accept my approach. He even told me he would feel better if I was only eating 4-5 meals a day instead of 5-6 (with the same amount of food total). There is no difference! UGH! The funny thing in all of this is that it has made me even more determined to lose my weight and keep it off, with my eating plan, just so I can look at him and go HA! :)
He has a body builder friend who once told him that if you get your body used to eating X amount of calories a bunch of times throughout the day and then switch to eating the same amount of calories in only 2 or 3 meals your body will store the "extra" calories from those meals as fat and you will gain weight while eating the same # of calories.
That doesn't even make sense. lol There are no "extra" calories if you are eating the same total amount each day. That's wierd of that guy to say that. I only eat twice a day. Small breakfast, like 400 to 500 and then dinner at like 1000-ish, sometimes more sometimes less.
Staci -- I think it's the male mentality that requires them to comment on issues such as weight. God only knows how many conversations I've had with my husband about the same thing. I've read and experienced far more about weight loss and weight gain that he ever will yet, he's always handy with the know-it-all comments.
But then, he does think he knows it all -- he's a guy. I learned from previous relationships not to discuss the basics of MY nutrition with anyone (including my mother -- she's the type more likely to get stuck on the "but I know you should only be eating 4-5 times a day"). I'm not sure that's helped me lose weight, but it has cut down on debates that I lose and then feel bad because I've tried to stick up for myself and still managed to lose. Which would cause me to want to eat.
For potluck type events, I always try to take fruit if I'm focused on eating healthy. And I've never taken home a bowl which still has fruit in it. It's one of those funny things I've noticed -- you can bring a cake and still have to take some of it home. But never fruit. Good choice!
If the mini-meals are working -- it doesn't matter who says what. You're succeeding! And when it comes to the guys -- sometimes you have to say things like "Honey, you're so smart" and redirect the conversation away from the food. You can't change the fact that they will always assume they're right first -- choose when you want to battle his lack of knowledge. Occassionally you can win, but don't ever let them know you have! ;)
Jo
Maybe this is one of those taboo subjects that you just shouldnt talk to with your boyfriend.
Ok, so, as hard headed as Neil (my boyfriend) is, he's not so bad sometimes. Even though we still don't agree on how many meals to eat and he still knows NOTHING about calories or weight loss (:P), he's being very supportive. We went to the store last night to get food to grill for dinner, and he stocked up on some things for me. We got fresh veggies for dinner and some Jello stuff to have decent low cal desserts. He also bought fat free skim milk and whole wheat bagels and let me pick out the cheese. He offered to buy some low-fat cream cheese for me, but I don't like the stuff anyway, so I didn't get that. We were also looking at some of the Lipton side dishes, a lot of which aren't that great for you, but he picked out a lo-mein flavored one because he knows I love lo mein, and it was reasonable in calories, too. All in all, things are completely different this time around with me trying to lose weight, because those closest to me know that I am determined to do it this time. My mom and I share recipes and food ideas (she lost 70 lbs and has kept if off for several years) and exercise ideas. The last time, I didn't tell her I was losing weight because she had always criticized my weight before. We didn't even talk about weight loss until I'd lost all 50 lbs and then she asked if I was losing weight! I wasn't dating Neil the first time around, and I didn't discuss my efforts with any of my close friends then either. I just didn't feel all that comfortable discussing weight issues with them when none of them had weight problems.
My grumpiness is finally starting to pass and I'm so glad to have the support of everyone!:)