How much support do you get at home?
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How much support do you get at home?
| Thu, 05-05-2005 - 12:56pm |
Hi everyone,
I am new here and am doing fine with my own private member support group..YOU GUYS!!
Does anyone one out there get hurt by family members' comments about your size, what you
ate sometimes or by friends? My husband is probably the worst.. He once told me when my
weight started escalating that I looked like a ball. I cried very hard and lost my self
esteem. I stopped going out. He thinks these boards are but a waste of time. Beleive it
or not he is usually a wonderful man. My kids tell me their friends call me fat mama
sometimes. People on the street who get mad IE: road rage ,parking call me fat cow...
I get so angry I could just explode at these insults. Is it just me or does anyone out
there share these painful moments????

Hugs, hon. Unless they've been through it, people just don't understand (and probably never will). Your husband....just whop him upside the head. :D I'm kidding of course, lol, but you might actually tell him and your kids that it hurts your feelings--because my kids were actually the ones telling me I was fat...until I told them that I was well aware that that was the truth, but hearing them say it really hurt my feelings. Ignore everyone else. People can be mean, particular those insane people who practice road rage. The important thing is that you're here, trying to do something about it.
My husband would never dare say anything like that to me (although his mother once bought me something two sizes too small and told me I could lose weight to fit into it), but he doesn't "get it" either. He's always been stick thin all his life, a fast metabolism, where he could eat anything he wanted and never gain weight. Now that he's getting older and not quite as active, his metabolism is slowing down and he's got quite a gut on him, but his brain is still in that "thin" mode. He keeps complaining that he hates his gut, and it's hard to get rid of it, but then sits down and eats a Double Whopper sandwich and extra large fries from Burger King. So he tends to sabotage me by buying cookies and whatnot and telling me, "Oh, don't worry about. One or two cookies isn't going to ruin your diet." He thinks he's being sweet by bringing me home a bag of chocolate during that time of the month. LOL
But like I said, don't let them bother you, hon. You're here, you're doing something about it. Ignore them all. Nobody's opinion matters but your own and you're fixing that.
~Joanne
Hi I'm new here also. I live alone now, but was married for 19 years. I have been heavy most of my adult life. When I met my husband and we were dateing I was a skinny little girl and all we ever did on our dates was go out to eat. I started gaining weight and had put on 30 pounds by the time we married. My husband loved to eat and never had a weight problem and couldn't understand why I did.
My family was not happy with the way I was taking care of myself, My daughter and her friends made hurtfull comments. Now that I'm on my own and have a wonderful loving understanding boyfriend that is helping me try and lose weight I feel better about myself.
I am wheelchair bound because of severe arthritis and have a bone degenerative disease. I"m still quite overweight as I can't exercise much, but I'm a Tops member, and I have made mant wonderful friends. If you'd like to have an email buddy, you can write me at JeanneneRS@copper.net.
Have a great day!!
Jeannene
Thank you so much...
I am not so alone and I think I will hit my husband upside the head!!!!!!!!
Sorry to hear that. I really don't know what to say because my husband is wonderful. He tells me every day how beautiful I am. Of course I always reply with a "yeah right" or "whatever" comment. LOL!
I was skinny when I met him and I can honestly say that he treated me like gold then and still does today (17 years later). He tells me that he loves me no matter what. And my 10 year old son said to me, when I told him I was going on a diet AGAIN, "Why? You don't need to lose any weight mom. You are beautiful like you are." These things of course make me feel great. My two guys are awesome!!!!
I am always trying new diets (that is until my recent change), exercises, machines, gyms, etc. and my husband always does whatever he can to help me in the process. Whether it be walking with me, buying me the items I need (scales, etc.), getting me a bike, buying me new exercise machines (even if I dont use them long..lol), etc. I always say to him "I know what you're thinking. You are probably like 'here we go again'." And he always says "No hun, I just want you to be happy and I will do whatever I can to make sure that you are."
I definitely cannot complain when it comes to support from them. Same goes for my family and friends. I never once heard a negative comment about my weight from any of them.
"I was skinny when I met him and I can honestly say that he treated me like gold then and still does today (17 years later). He tells me that he loves me no matter what. And my 10 year old son said to me, when I told him I was going on a diet AGAIN, "Why? You don't need to lose any weight mom. You are beautiful like you are.""
Sigh. Can we move into your house?! lol I know the man loves me, but I can't recall the last time my husband told me I was beautiful. Kiss those guys of yours; they're definite gems!
~Joanne
Yes Joanne, they sure are!!! I thank God for them both every day! There isn't a day that goes by that we don't say "I love you" to one another and express how much we appreciate one another. Our son included.
My husband tried to "hook up" with me for 8 months before I finally started dating him. LOL! He always tells me how happy he is that he stuck around and waited for me. I also tell him how lucky I am that I came to my senses and finally started dating him. I guess I was just scared at the time. After all, I was 15 almost 16 (we started dating 3 days before I turned 16) at the time and he was 19. We've been happily and lovingly together ever since. We always laugh at how many years we've been together. Saying "17 years" seems like a long time. But, it doesn't feel that way to either of us. I guess that's a good thing. LOL!
My husband is skinny too. Always has been. In fact, most of his life he was underweight. But he still knows how I feel being overweight and is very sympathetic and supportive. I am so disgusted with myself that I do not remember the last time that I actually stood totally naked in front of him. He doesn't even know how much I weigh. I just can't bring myself to tell him. He once said to me "Why do you always try to hide yourself from me and the amount you weigh? Do you think I will feel less of you if I saw you completely naked and knew how much you weighed?" Well, I just broke down. He said "I am telling you now, knowing and seeing could never change the way I feel about you. I love you no matter what. I know you don't feel good about yourself but just remember, I think you are beautiful and nothing will ever change that." He is just awesome!!!
I think that may be part of why I give up so easily many times. Because I know he will accept and love me as I am no matter what. But, I am not using that as an excuse anymore because I don't and won't accept myself like I am any longer.