Old member, coming back
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| Mon, 05-16-2005 - 4:25pm |
Hi Everyone - Let me start off by introducing myself (again). My name is Kerry, I started posting here almost a year and a half ago. I haven't posted or been back in about 6-8 mos. Consequently, that's the same amount of time that I stopped eating healthy or doing anything about my weight. So here I am, over one year later and 40lbs heavier than when I first started posting here.
Last February, I was 236lbs and now I weigh in at 276 - the heaviest and most unhealthy I have ever been in my entire life. But today is the day, that I take responsibility for myself and my actions.
I am a complete and utter mess. Being at the weight I am, none of my clothes from last spring/summer even fit me this year. I was already a slave to capri pants last summer b/c I didn't want to be seen in shorts and it's even worse this year considering even those capris and tee shirts don't fit. My size 22/24 capris and almost too tight to wear and I'm into a 26/28 on top. Even my feet are getting fat and don't fit into some shoes and sandles from last year. I look like a stuffed sausage in everything I wear. Even my face is getting noticeably heavier - my doublet chin is even bigger and the fat in my cheeks is making my eyes look weird when I smile.
Enough about the clothes and how I look - let me just touch upon how I FEEL physically - LIKE CRAP!
I have heartburn on a daily/nightly basis. I can't walk even 20ft without being winded. It's diffcult to get up from the sofa or a chair, not to mention I have to actually roll myself out of bed - I'm not kidding. My ankles are swollen constantly - or just fat. I recently came back from a conference out of town, for work, and I didn't even fit in the chairs in the meeting rooms. The sides/arms of the chairs were squeezing in on my hips and I had to keep getting up - it was embarrassing. It's difficult for me to get in and out of my car. If it gets any worse, my seatbelt won't fit me.
I have gone to my doctor and he has tested me for thyroid and diabetes which both tests came back negative. He told me I am morbidly obese. OMG - morbidly obese.
A normal day of eating for me in the past 6-8 most would be - no breakfast, just coffee with creamer. About 11am I get hungry and have a can of coke with a back of chips or doritos. About 1pm is where I meet friends or clients for lunch and have a cheeseburger with fries or some type of pasta dish. If I'm by myself, I've been known to get 2 double cheeseburgers from McDonaldst, 2 apple pies and a coke. At about 3:30 I need something else and go for another can of coke and a chocolate candy bar - usually the biggest I can find in the vending machine. About 5:30 I'm home and snack on something else not good for me before dinner. Dinner is about 8pm and consists of some type of meat/protein - fried and/or smothered in gravy or cheese, a side dish of some starchy thing - mashed potato,rice or pasta with corn as a vegetable, oh and always bread with dinner (think I got enough carbs in that meal!? LOL). About 10pm is where I will have some type of dessert, usually a brownie or cake or ice cream. All through the night drinking iced tea or more Coke.
There, I admitted it. I've never uttered that whole paragraph out loud or have told anyone. It's totally disgusting just reading it.
Well, today is a new day. I have cut out white flour products and sugar products. So far today, I have not had a coke or any candy or fast food. I have been drinking water all day and dinner planned is good. I even walked up a few flights of stairs today instead of taking the elevator.
I hope I can do this this time. Maybe if I take it one day at a time and make myself accountable for what I do.
If you got to the end of this, thank you for reading, I know it was long, but I had to get it out.
Any help or suggestions with things that have worked for you guys would be greatly appreciated.
Kerry
276/276/200 (for now)

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KERRY!!!! I am so glad to see you here! This board totally recommitted last week (or the week before) and we're all psyched and ready to lose. You came back at a great time!!
Your new plan sounds good. Hang in there. There are Journal threads below to post your food and exercise, if you want. It helps me a lot, I've noticed. I can see trends if I have a bad week weight wise and can make changes.
hang in there! We know how you feel. We're all here to help support you and help you!
Glad to see you back and post often!!!
Dawn
((((((KERRY)))))))))
Girl, I'm so glad to see you here!
Fear
Hey there and welcome back! I'm new here, and I know exactly what you're going through... About two months ago I crawled back into my gym after a 6 month absence, and when I stepped on the scale I nearly cried. In the past 10 years since I started high school, my weight has gone from 180 (back when I was convinced I was absolutely huge and disgusting - I'd kill to weigh that now!!!) up to just above 200 when I started college, and that day when I hit the gym, I weighed in a 302 pounds. And that was it for me. So far I've lost 13 pounds, even with being sick for nearly 3 weeks, and now I'm back on track and gaining momentum!
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I feel you, and wanted to remind you that coming off that much caffiene and sugar daily will probably result in some type of withdrawl symptoms. So sip on some herbal tea, meditate, do some deep breathing or light exercise, and come on here and vent if you feel like you're crashing! Best wishes!!!
hi,
I just came back too. It is nice to have a place of understanding encouraging support. It is really difficult to just make that first letter huh? I felt pretty humiliated to be like, hi, I am back and there is more of me ! But that was the hardest part. We can cheer each other on.
kristrin
Kerry....you know you are *always* welcome back here.
Kerry,((((HUGS)))) I am glad to see you back here and posting,recommiting to getting back in shape and healthy.Just take it day by day...doing small things here and there WILL make a difference.Also remember,if you do mess up one day...that is no reason to throw in the towel and give up,though you know that..sometimes it feels so much easier,but dont!Just do it!!! lol ;o)
Bren
Thanx Everyone for the welcome! I got thru yesterday no problem and today I feel good. I ate a great breakfast and have planned out the rest of my day. I may even go to the gym to walk a bit on the treadmill. Starting to exercise and fitting it in seems to be even harder to me than eating right - but I'm ready to give it a try!
Thanx also for the encouragement. I forgot how great this board is and how wonderful all you ladies here can be!
Here's to a wonderful Tuesday (I'm taking it day by day)!
Kerry
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