What was your moment of truth?
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| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 11:28am |
I was aware of being obese but kept avoiding doing something about it. I could feel my body deteriorating as I continued to gain weight but that wasn't enough to motivate a change.
My moment of truth was when I visiting my daughter at College and barely made the walk from the car to her dorm room. Not only was I huffing and puffing but I really thought I wasn't going to make it to her room without sitting down. I even had a visual of me in a motorized chair.
This was heartbreaking for me as I always loved walking before gaining so much weight. In that moment I remember thinking, I will never feel this way about myself again. That night I made a plan including: walking, low-fat food, water, journaling, and finding support (this board). The date - Feb. 21, 2005. Now I'm walking 5 miles a day and have lost 35 lbs.
Did you have a moment of truth on this journey to a healthier you?
LK
295/260/195

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I continued to trickle on the weight through highschool and into nursing school. By the time of our capping ceremony, I weighed 210. I was mortified and looking at the picture of myself in the unflattering smock just about turned me over. I wish I weighed that now! Throughout the years and the steady gain, I felt like things were headed out of control. But at each higher weight I would tell myself, "well, at least I don't weigh____", and calm down. My final moment of truth, after not fitting in booths or some chairs, or being out of breath, or not being able to sit on or go into things I was too large for, was stepping on the scale at the docs and see 287. I thought I'd die. I cried and cried and cried. I was scared watching my stomach hang and hang and hang over time, but always reassured myself that I'd tighten it up. Well the muscles are tight but the tremendous amount of fat over the muscle looks like a bread dough that's about to fall off of the kitchen counter. I don't like the way most of my body looks. But I have to live with it no matter how it looks. So while I am trying to get healthy and make better choices, and exercise, I thank God for waking me up each day, giving me air to breathe, and a clean slate every morning. Kristi :o) <><
My moment of truth was when my dd was 11 months old and I was carrying her up the stairs while talking on the phone to a friend ~ my friend thought I was having a heart attack.
DD will be 5 in December ~ I reached my goal weight about 3 mos ago.
Best wishes to everyone on their journey.
My latest moment of truth was sitting in the hospital bed while all of my doctors came in one by one and told me that if I didn't get serious again and lose the rest of my weight I'd be dead in 5 years. I had cellulitis in my abdomen and they were afraid it was going to turn to septis. My primary doc said that if I didn't lose weight my legs would give way and I'd be wheelchair bound in a few years. Well, I can't walk very far right now so his words really sank in. I need to have thyroid surgery and I've had 2 specialists tell me thay don't want to do my surgery because of the size of my thyroid and the size of me. Talk about a wake up call! One doc even suggested I have a trachiotimy (sp?) can you say NO WAY???!! I'm on Oxygen continuously now so that is a constant reminder. When I want something I shouldn't have I look at it like poison. If I eat this, is it worth my life?
So now it's eat healthy, count those calories and leaning on Our Lord for strength.
Kathryn
If another person tells me that I have a pretty face and if I'd just lose some weight....well, you know, I think I'll explode! LOL
Kathryn
Some of my very favorite comments (heavy sarcasm intended) are:
Don't you want to do something about your weight? (of course, but until you said that to me I wasn't entirely sure. Thank you for putting the thought into my brain)
I'll give you $100 if you lose 'x' amount of pounds before your class reunion. (hmmm, not $1000? thanks Dad, you've made sure I've known my whole life that I weigh more than you want me too)
You're fat. (really? well thank you for telling me! whew! that was a close one! I wasn't sure WHAT was going on!)
Are you sure you need that? (No, but I'm going to eat it anyway. But now that you have drawn that kind of attention to what I'm eating, I'll make sure to eat it in secret next time.)
You just need to have some willpower. (well I'll be darned - I thought I needed support and acceptance and unconditional love. but willpower, I'll be sure to look into that)
Kristi, you're putting on weight. (well what do I need a mirror for when I have you?)
And so on and so on. Those are just some of my favorites. I have heard it all. I was built different than my lithe brother and sister, so I was put on a diet at the age of 6. People remember me telling them I was on a diet. I had no front teeth so they thought that was pretty cute. Yep - I'm 42 years old and it was so cute it still hurts. My psyche has been really kneeded by decades of hearing how my body is wrong. So I'm just now getting to the acceptance stage. It's hard going and I have to approach it daily, but I do it because it's worth it. God doesn't want me feeling this way. It's a matter of the heart that affects my body. My heart hurts so my body takes in more than it needs. God can replace that if I take Him in. He's definitely my Savior but I'm sure having a hard time giving this over to Him. Like I can do it better than He can! I couldn't even begin. If I could I would already be thin and healthy. Kristi :o) <><
Hi Kristi, I just wanted to tell you that i almost cried reading your post (it was helarious at the beginning though).
I can relate so much to what you said. I have a skinny younger sister and i grew up with skinny cousins. All my realtives (especially from my mother's side) are skinny (children & adults). They could eat anything they want and not show at all. I was different. But looking back at those pictures, i dont see myself fat. I see a very healthy child with a lot of muscles. I had curves when i was very young and i was much taller than the rest of the class. Ofcourse i weighed more and looked different. (heck i had a regular period at the age of 9, why were they expecting a body of a baby?) I am really angry that they conditioned me that i was fat.
Ok rant and self pity is over.
Moment of truth? When i held my baby in my arms for the first time and everybody said he looked tiny. He was 8 lbs, but had a huge mommy, so he looked tiny in comparison.
Mary
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