I'm new here - 200 lbs to lose :(
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I'm new here - 200 lbs to lose :(
| Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:17pm |
I'm turning 50 this month and i really meant to start the year off with diet and exercise to be in better shape by my birthday but its right around the corner and nothing has changed. I was a trim and tall 22 year old when i met my DH almost 30 yrs ago. I was able to eat whatever i wanted because i was active then but after settling down to married life my habits changed and i fell into a sedentary lifestyle. I got away with it for a long time because being tall the weight gain did not show but it eventually caught up with me and by then i had formed such bad eating habits and was so inactive that i ballooned into a gigantic couch potato. My DH makes derogatory comments because he thinks he's doing me a favor by saying these mean things but its obviously not working. We never go anywhere because he's ashamed to be seen with me and after some humiliating events ... getting kicked off an amusement park ride because the bar would not lock in place and not fitting in a restaurant booth so we had to be moved to a table in the center while everyone stared... so now we only do things that will accomodate my size. I even had trouble buying a car because i couldnt fit behind the wheel. DH tells me we cant go to Hawaii or Disneyworld because i would have to buy 2 seats on the plane and even when we get there i'd be too tired to walk anywhere. We go on the same vacation every year (a lake resort) because of my problem. I love going in the water because i'm weightless there but now i am at the very largest size in bathing suits and its a tight squeeze. I am 5'9 and 350lbs and i've been wearing the same clothes for years because clothes shopping is so depressing. My favorite things to do are read books and watch tv. I havent had a pap in years because i'm too embarrassed and i'm at the age where they recommend a colonoscopy but i cant imagine doing that at my size. I know what it takes to change all this but i cant seem to do it. I watch Oprah and Dr.Phil and they inspire me so i start out ok but then i quit and go back to my bad habits. I've become a near recluse and am not sociable because all my friends and family are just like my DH - well intentioned comments that do nothing but hurt my feelings. Will I ever conquer this all-consuming food addiction which has ruined my life ? I guess I dont expect any answers that I dont already know but maybe some sympathetic support from others like myself would help ...

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Hi there! Sorry to hear your husband and family aren't supportive like they should be.Maybe telling them outright how you feel,or showing them some proof(I'm sure you could find something on-line about it)that there are better ways to support those who are trying to lose weight other then making them feel low.
Everyone here is very supportive...and in a good kind of way :o) Stick around,please.You are so worth a healthier and "thinner" you,and here is a good place to start.
Bren
*HUGS* TOTAL! give TreyColton more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
Hi! Welcome to the board! I'm new here too, have only been here for a few days.
I completely undertand about the derogatory remarks made by your friends and family. My DH's family has honestly got to be some of the rudest people I have ever met. Had I met them before we married, I would have had serious doubts about actually going through with the wedding. Luckily, my DH is a complete opposite from them.
I finally had to tell his entire family to just leave me completely alone if they couldn't talk to me about something other than my weight, especially if they were going to be rude about it. I continuously pointed out that none of them were perfect and if they couldn't accept me as is, then I was pretty sure I didn't want anything to do with them anyway!
I'm sure you can't tell you DH these things. But I think you should tell him that it is time for his rude remarks about your weight to STOP! Explain to him that his comments only make you feel worse than you already do and do nothing to help you.
You have taken the first step by admitting that you do need to do something. Whether he is or not, I'm sure that everyone here as well as myself are PROUD of you for taking that one step!
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you!
Terri
Hi there and welcome to the board.. you reached the right place for support and motivation.. the ladies here are super nice and offer tons of great advice. we are all here in the same boat with a lot of weight to lose, so we understand the struggle you are in.. feel free to post here often..
Now with that said, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start doing something to change it!! and do it for you!! not for your husband or friends or family. Make a plan, and follow it. It is as simple as that. Just start and take it one day at a time.
Mary
247/236/165
Welcome to the board, and know that you are in the right place for support, but not judgement. I know that it's so hard when no one around you is supportive because I have dealt with that myself. Luckily, I now have some wonderfully supportive people in my life, and on this board. It's helped tremendously, and I think that if you stick with us, we can help you too. It's not an easy road to lose weight, but in the end it's a lot easier than staying heavy. Like the others said, just come up with a plan, and follow through on it. If you don't feel like making your own diet, or if you don't know where to start, there are lots of other boards on iVillage that you can get info from. The SBD seems to be good in principle, but a little rigid for my tastes. Weight Watchers also seems to be a good choice, and you can do it online if you want. You also said that you found Dr Phil inspiring; well, he has a book out. My mother followed the book and the diet plan, and, while I don't really agree with all of his dietary restrictions either, she had great success on it. It was just the kind of structure that she needed. I guess my point with all these diet plans is that there is a lot of choice, and you can keep trying until you find your perfect solution.
Finally, just take it one day at a time and break your goals down into smaller, more manageable goals. If the people around you can't start being supportive, just ignore them and don't let them win. By putting you down, they are telling you that you are not worthy of respect, theirs or yours. If you stick with your goals, you are showing them that you ARE deserving of respect, yours and theirs.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Staci
~luv catz~.... First of all I want to give you a big ((((((((((HUG))))))))))).
I am a 56 yr. old woman, who has been overweight all of my life, and know how you feel about all the "fat remarks". I've heard them all from the time I started first grade until I graduated from high school. After that, I became "thick-skinned" about all the remarks and stares I got from people. I am fortunate enough that my family loved me for who I was, not the size I was (I was the heaviest in my immediate family). I carried around the 250 lbs for a long time, and was accepted by my friends and family. The only critical person I ever encountered about my weight in my adult life, was ME! I hated looking in the mirror at myself, especially when I tried to dress up for a special occasion, only to see a fat person looking back. Buying clothes were a disaster! Just this last week, my DH and I traveled to Florida for my step-daughter's wedding, and I had ordered a long black dress with red cherries on it, split up both sides to the knee..and accessorized it with red sandals, and a red short sleeved jacket. I felt like it made me look slimmer...HA! When I got the pictures taken of me back , I looked like a COW!!
I have tried every diet known to man (and woman), only to fail at ALL of them. The first of this year I started the South Beach diet, and must admit that it is a diet, or a WOE (way of eating) that I can do. I really do like the SBD, but because I am older and have a lot of medical problems and being post-menopausal, the weight does not want to drop off very fast. So far, since the first of Feb, I have only lost 7 lbs, but I feel a lot better since I've been eating healthier. My DH did a modified version of the SBD, and has lost his "pot belly". Maybe you could check out their messageboard on iVillage, and see if you would consider it, too. Maybe you would have better luck than I am.
Don't let your DH and family's remarks bring you down, luv catz...just remember that, "God does not make junk"! I'm sure you have many, many good qualities about you that makes you a very special lady...it's their loss..not yours!
Come back and visit all of us anytime you need a hug, or words of encouragement. WE CARE!
;-)
Susie
Hi there and welcome to the board.
~Luv
Laura
Hi Laura, Don't worry about the family's rude comments. Just make up your mind to DO THIS. Just take it baby steps at a time like Kerstin said. Once you lose a few pounds, you'll be more and more motivated and then they'll fly off.
Come here anytime for support.
Jenny
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