Is anyone else afraid to reach goal???

Avatar for nicolathecat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Is anyone else afraid to reach goal???
21
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 10:02pm

I know this is crazy, but I find that I actually feel panicky when I think of reaching goal.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 2:37am
The only thing I'm afraid of is the skin issue. What if I lose all my weight, but the skin doesn't go back completely? :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 3:25am

I also worry about the skin issue. What if it doesn't spring back? What if it makes me unattractive? What if it makes me worse than i already look?

But then i think about all the positive things. Being able to breathe, Being able to walk and run with my son without feeling a heart attack is about to come, The pretty clothes, going into normal size stores, not being the biggest in the group..

Then all i can think about is how bad i want to lose the weight. And i start to focus on the next steps to take. First lose the weight, then we'll see what happens.

Just me 2 cents,
Mary
247/236/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 8:29am

Nicola, I have the same issues!

Tammy

Don't let your past determine your future!     

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 9:44am

I think that I definitely have some fears with losing the weight, although I haven't been able to pinpoint why. It's not that I don't like the attention. I've always gotten attention and advances because of my chest, and, although I thought some of if just plain rude, I liked being flirted with and hit on. I also don't have that much fear about getting assaulted or harrassed, because I've always felt like I was a strong person--and, because of my height and the way I carry myself (most people, even close friends, think that I'm over 6' tall, but I'm only 5'10"), I tend to intimidate people more than have them intimidate me.

I think that my fears stem from being uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. I have never known what it is like to be "thin". I tend to sabotage myself at certain set points on the weight loss continuum--I generally have a setback around 245-250, a setback around 220, and a setback around 200 (which I haven't seen in a very long time). I've never made it to my goal weight because of these setbacks, but I am determined to do it this time.

Now that I think about it, I think my biggest thing is that I am afraid that I won't have any other way to deal with my emotions if I don't have food, and that's scary.

Staci


 


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Avatar for brens2boys
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Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 10:14am

I used to be,but I've decided that my health is much more important then being afraid of what could possibly happen when I reach goal.I think it helps that I'm not the shy little teenager anymore.I speak whats on my mind,and I certainly would have no problems telling someone where to go if they even dare overstep any boundries.I feel stronger both physically and emotionally,and I'm not going to let anymore fears get in my way of making me feel even stronger by reaching goal.

Bren

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 10:29am

Nicola, what you are saying isnt strange at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 10:41am

I am in some ways scared of losing the weight. I think because I don't really remember ever being thin. I know as a young child I was thin, but according to photos I started my weight gain around the age of 10 or so. by the time I was 15 I was already 245 lbs. I slowly gained after that staying below the 300 mark, but after the birth of my first child that changed. After my second child I am still over 300 lbs. I look at myself in the mirror with disgust. I say things about myself when I look in the mirror, and dh actually gets mad. He says that I shouldn't talk about his wife like that. I guess my main fear is that I don't really know what to expect from people if I lose the weight. I have become accustomed to being overweight. My entire family struggles with weight issues. My mom had the gastric bypass, which I have considered, but dh refuses to even think about the surgery. I guess in a way I am relieved, because the surgery really frigtens me, my mom was in and out of the hospital for the first 3 months with severe dehydration, throwing up constantly, etc. It seems like once a week she was in the hospital, that scared me. She is doing great now, however. She had the surgery in Sept 04, and she has now lost 156 lbs. She still has a lil ways to go before she can have her cosmetic surgery, but she is looking great. Anyways, this is getting really long, but no you're not alone in your fears.. I think a lot of people probably have one fear or another about reaching their goal.. :)

Lynn~
321/310/185

btw.. I have heard (through the WLS board) that some burn centers will do the cosmetic (skin lifting) surgery for free if u donate your extra skin to the burn center.. maybe this will help some? :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:08am

No, you're not alone. I started putting on my weight when I was in college, some twelve, thirteen years ago. I have some sexual abuse in my past, and that was about the time I really started to deal with it. The fat has become exactly that....a protective layer. It does all those things you siad, makes me invisible. Sexual attention from men makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'm okay with it once I get to know someone, you know, lik when you're dating. And of course I've been married to my husband for ten years, and he's not a very sexual person, so he doesn't flirt with me much. But I have noticed over the last few months I start to get to a point where I can see the changes, see the "thinner me" emerging, and then I tend to binge, eat more than I should for a few days and gain some of it back. So that I'm back to looking more fat than thin (amazing the difference a few pounds make). But I was wondering yesterday if that was part of why I do it, because I'm scared to lose the weight, scared to be "sexy".

~Joanne

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 11:13am
Re: The saggy skin issue..... I found a product. By no means a miracle thing and it may not work all the way, but so far, it is helping that hanging stomach thing I've got. Dove Intensive Firming Cream. Been rubbing on my lower stomach for two weeks now, and the part of my hanging stomach that connects to about where my hipbones (I call those my "attachers"...cause it reminds me of two ropes that are holding my stomach on. As in, if I just detached those, my tummy would fall off. LOL) have actually disappeared. The tummy is still there of course, and when I bend over I can still see it, but standing normally, I actually can't see them anymore. I'm gonna try it on my butt next. Then we'll see if it really works. lol

 

 

Avatar for nicolathecat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 5:38pm

Thank you so much for your responce.

 

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