men!!!
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men!!!
| Sun, 07-10-2005 - 8:13am |
well this morning started off really well, got up had breakfast a wholemeal roll with low fat vegan spread and some fruit, did my exercise dvd then went shopping everything was great until i came in the house and my dp hadn't done a thing. i have 2 kids a 19 month old and a 9 week old and i find it quite hard to get things done so him doing nothing caused a huge row which in turn made me so mniserable i ate everything in sight :(. now i feel awful and sooo disapointed with myself as i really haven't done well at all this week grr. anyway sorry i went on for so long just needed to have a rant,
emma xXx
emma xXx

Edited 7/10/2005 3:15 pm ET ET by steph_6951
emma xXx
So try to expect very very little of him. I know how frustrated you can be with the baby to take care of. Just hang in there.. you know it gets better as the baby gets a little older.
Hugs
Mary
247/231?/165
I just thought about something, some men are afraid of tiny children (this comes from a male friend of mine). If he plays with your older one, but doesn't touch the younger baby, then he might be plain scared (even if he doesn't realize it).
If that's the case, you may try encouraging him. Just hand him the baby and trust him to take care of the baby for a few minutes. Don't jump in, just let him deal with it. Only for a few minutes. If you tend to jump in and try to "correct" something he's doing, DON'T. Both you and him will realize he won't break the baby. You may be surprised on how well they bound afterwards. At least that's how it worked for my friend. (if this doesn't work, tell me to bash him for you LOL)
Mary
247/231?/165
Well Kristi, I hated it when my newborn cried and I didn't know what it is that he want. I felt inadquet and ignorant, but i had to deal with it. I had to figure it out. Many men don't figure it out cuz they never get the chance to do so. Mommy steps right in and men think she knows all the answers. They think that Mommy is *wired* to know everything about the baby. Ofcourse i don't speak about all women, but i defenetly wasn't *wired* to understand my baby. I struggled A LOT. And i shared that with dh. I admited i was struggling and this didn't make me less of a mother. Hubby started with a suggestion or two and that made him involved. Mark is now 15 months old and you can't belive the relationship he has with his father. I admit i am a very lucky woman.
Mary
247/236(yep again)/165
Our situation is the same. My husband puts in long hours at work also, and when he's not working long hours at the office (with a 90 minute commute each way), he's traveling and away from home. It was very very difficult when our son was an infant to have to handle all the household and baby duties on my own. I used to get mad at him for coming home and just collapsing on the couch and not trying to help me, claiming he needed to "rest", and finally, when that fell on deaf ears, I just started finding ways to do everything myself. And that's actually what worked. When he felt like chipping in on the work, I'd thank him for the help and tell him how much I appreciated it, but I never had the expectation that he would. It became a pleasant surprise to see him doing dishes or changing a diaper. LOL :-D Now that our son is older, he's become much more involved in spending time with him, when he can, but the housework is still mine. I figure he works outside the house, and my job is inside the house, taking care of our home. :-D It still seems to work.
Taylorblue :-D