~*~*Thursday Support Group~*~*
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| Thu, 07-21-2005 - 8:35am |
OK, I'm going to start a daily support group thread. Everyone is welcome to participate daily, weekly or not at all.
It seems many of us are struggling pretty bad, including myself. I have the desire to do what needs to be done, but not the will power. So let's start out by sharing what struggles we're having today, what triumphs we're having today, and tips for others on how to overcome those trials and tribulations.
For today I'll start. As I mentioned, I am severely struggling, not just with my weight, but just about everything in my life. I have the desire to be a good mom, a good employee, a fit and healthy person, but I have absolutely no will power to do it. I really don't have a hard job, but I just can't focus and make myself do the work that needs to be done. My desk looks horrible. I have a wonderful son, and I am very lucky, but 9 times out of 10, I feel as if I am ignoring him or shooing him away because I just don't want to deal with things. I don't believe he's unhappy, but I feel guilty because I think I should be spending more time with him. And don't even get me started on food and exercise. It's just not happening for me. I make a plan every single day and every single day I deviate in a major way from it.
Also, as many of you know I am trying to start a bed and breakfast, or buy one at least, and there's so much that needs to be done, I just don't feel like doing it.
What's wrong with me lately???? I don't even feel like being online here either because I feel like such a failure. Blah.
Anyone else having this problem? Anyone have any ideas for me? I could really use some help!



Edited 7/21/2005 9:59 am ET ET by steph_6951
Ditto ditto and ditto.
I have been doing so well lately, especially with the exercise, and yesterday I just wanted to stuff my face! Fortunately I didn't eat too bad, but not great either. I settled on a bowl of ice cream as opposed to the whole carton... and ate healthier snacks(but still probably too many). Its only been a couple weeks since I committed to exercising and trying to eat better and I've probably lost close to 10 pounds.. I can't really tell because my scale is a bit off.. but my jeans are slowly getting bigger!
I'm determined to get this weight issue under control "this time". My kids are turning 1 and 2 this September and I want to be able to chase them around without being so self conscious. I pretty much let myself go as soon as I met my husband, then came two pregnancies in a row. I took a break from school to take care of my kids. But this year particularly has been a rough one. I lost my 16 year old brother in March, My husband lost his job in May.. He got a new one right off but without the benefits... but my brother's passing is a constant daily struggle.. some days are perfectly fine and others I find myself crying at random times. Thankfully I have my two beautiful children to disract me and keep me busy.
And while this whole tragedy hase brought me closer to my mom, its managed to distance me and my older brother from my father (my parents are divorced) I probably shouldnt go into too much detail but basically my father has always had an issue with being "cheap" and his obsession with money prevents him from having a meaningful relationship with his kids. He had a small life insurance policy on my brother that he spent only a portion of on funeral expenses, keeping the rest for himself and leaving my mom with the remaining thousands of dollars in expenses. He refuses to justify his decision to keep the money even though each of his 3 remaining children have asked him about it. He has never had a great relastionship with any of us, or his grandkids, but A lot of us saw this as his opportunity to make a change for the better, and thus far he has made it even worse. Well so much for not going into detail.
I guess I have come to the realization that life is too short and I really shouldnt be putting things off that I can be doing right now... there are only so many things that I have control over in my life.. one of them being eating healthy and exercising.. I know that I would feel so much better about myself if I just stick to it! I'm also starting school again in the fall.. still have 2 more years to go for my bioengineering degree. Well I hear my little one getting out of bed now (he had a rough night) so I better get going. Thanks for listening.
~Jaime
Thanks Shawna.
Kerstin~ I agree with shawna. Go see your Dr. You sound like you are very overwhelmed by everything. You can't be perfect.Nobody can. Just do the best you can and make little changes each day.
Steph~ I don't know what to tell you other than I have been there. Just keep at it.
Jaime~I am so sorry about your brother. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I really believe things will get better for you. (and congratulations on the 10 pounds.)
Shawna~ have fun with Tina and get out and walk and plan those menus.
Me, I am doing good. I have stayed on program for over 2 weeks now and feeling great about myself. sharla
Hey all, sorry I'm a little late posting here, I just don't get to make it online too often anymore.
Kerstin--I know it sucks what you are going through, because I deal with a very similar situation myself, and I just can't seem to make myself go to a doctor for it. Luckily, it's gotten a lot better for me over the last year, but it's been a long time coming. I still have problems with having lists of things I need or want to do and then never doing anything about them. I'll even get gung-ho about something and then sit down right before I'm about to do it and say, nah, I don't feel like it. For a while there, it affected my whole life, including work and home. Right now I am doing 10xs better than I have in a long time, and it seems to be getting better day by day. The only thing I can say is just take one thing that needs to be done and do it. That's what I do. I pick one thing at a time, say, okay, I'll work on this for XX minutes, and then I can move on to something else. Shoot, I've even made a deal with myself on exercise that for every 20 minutes of exercise I complete, I get a 12 oz can of diet soda. That way, I work on two things at one time--exercising and limiting my soda intake! LOL. As far as sticking with my diet goes, I've done very well over the past few months, and it's happened by taking it hour by hour, meal by meal. I'm still stuck at around 40 lbs lost, but I've lost 10% body fat total. They say that after 6 weeks, new habits start becoming ingrained, and I can believe that somewhat, but I also know that unless I fight the urge to go back to my old ways every minute of every day, I won't make my goals. As silly as it sounds, one of the things that has kept me on track is picking an outfit that I really want to wear, because I know Neil will love it, and trying it on every so often to see how close I am to wearing it out in public. I know I'm not losing the weight for Neil or anyone else, but for my health and well being, but sometimes that's not motivation enough, and the external reasons keep me going.
I hope that everyone else is doing well and keeps with their goals. I am down to about a size 18, which means I can wear all kinds of old clothes that I haven't worn in almost a year and a half, and my bum is looking great (I've been running the stairs about 20-30 flights a day) :)! I know that with all the support everyone gives on this board, we can all succeed in the long run.
If anyone wants a buddy to talk to, I do check my e-mail at least daily, and I would love to have a new buddy.
Staci
((Hugs)) I do that too Stephanie! I had gotten down to my lowest in years 215,and then ruined it by overeating(even this morning when last night I said no more),and am back at 220.I want to be thinner....I feel better when I don't over eat,and when I get in some exercise...so I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself.
Bren
Ok girls (I am assuming we are all ladies here) I have read several of your posts and really relate to at least one thing in all of them. I weigh in at 290 (hopefully this morning, I am going to get under) I started at 326 (after the birth of my third daughter). I have dieted my whole adult life (like many of you). I know how to diet, I know what to eat, I know how to lose. I could write a very good book about weight loss and give people all kinds of advice. People would think that with all my knowledge that I am a skinny hot momma! I am sure many of you are the same. So WHY oh WHY can't we take our own advice and just do it? I believe that there are several reasons.....
The first thing is that we have to be READY to do it. I have not been ready. I finally am, this time. I just am not putting the pressure on myself this time. I am trying to not make a big deal about it. I am not counting points, calories, journaling, putting down every morsel in my tracker..... I think (FOR ME) that I do not want to obsess about it. I don't want food to be on my mind all day long. I want to eat to live, not live to eat. I want to use food to nourish my body and give me energy.
Sooo, when I get upset, I am turning to other things to comfort me. Like talking to a friend, praying or exercise. When I am bored, I do something to fill my time. When I get stressed, I clean. It helps to have a solution before the trigger even comes.
The trick is to take one meal, one experience, one problem, one temptation at a time. Before I open my mouth to put a piece of food in it, I force myself to think "is this a healthy choice or an unhealthy choice? What could be better?". So if I am going out to eat and I have to have the quesadilla that I have been dying for, I can. But I make a "BETTER CHOICE" by ordering the quesadilla but forfeitting the extra stuff that goes with it. See what I mean? Order a soda instead of water, but make it a better choice by getting a diet. It works, you don;t feel like your choice has been taken from you and you feel empowered by making a good choice.
I am rambling, good luck to you all, you all have the power. Just stop yourself before every bite and ask if it is a healthy choice and what can make it a better choice.
Jen