New....or at least (re)-New
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New....or at least (re)-New
| Sun, 08-14-2005 - 2:47am |
Hello all!! My name is Tasha, and I sifted through many older "newbie" discussions before posting. I was hoping the 100+ rule is not strictly enforced. I posted on this board some years ago, and got side-tracked. My ultimate goal (for now) is to weigh 170 lbs, right now I weigh ~253 lbs, but at my highest I was 302 lbs@16yrs old. I was pretty excited for a while when I had gotten down to 240lbs, and was like that for at least a year. Then the mysterious pounds came, and I really have no idea why. I would say I'm falling off the wagon, but in reality, I was never on it in the first place. The weight I had lost came from a combination of exiting puberty and having a better handle on my emotional eating.
I haven't been very confident about myself since I was probably 10 (I'm 22 now). I think I reached a point a few years ago, even though I was heavier, that I wasn't so focused on how I looked therefore my self-esteem wasn't as low. Now I feel like I have regressed emotionally, I feel like the same chunky kid who was so self-critical and wasn't accepted. It's strange, I thank God that as an adult I don't go through the same tourment from others as I did when I was a child. But at the same time, I still feel like that same tourmented child. Still wanting to hide in the shadowns, dress in frumpy clothes, etc. I learned from previous experience, that no amount of weight loss will ever make me have this high self-esteem, this is a seperate issue (for me) and something I will have to build independently. But, I do want to look in the mirror and feel more comfortable in my own skin. I would love to go to a store (any store) and buy clothes that are a size 14 or Large, instead of a 20W.
So here I am. I'm not exactly sure what method I want to take. I know I have eating and exercise issues that I need to address and adjust. I was thinking about trying South Beach, but it seems too demanding. I do know for a fact that I can "go to town" on carbs, and that may be a large part of my difficulties. That's why I'm hoping that keeping a keen eye on my portion control can get the ball rolling. Well, I have talked a lot already. I wish everyone the best. Take it one day at a time. ~Tasha
I haven't been very confident about myself since I was probably 10 (I'm 22 now). I think I reached a point a few years ago, even though I was heavier, that I wasn't so focused on how I looked therefore my self-esteem wasn't as low. Now I feel like I have regressed emotionally, I feel like the same chunky kid who was so self-critical and wasn't accepted. It's strange, I thank God that as an adult I don't go through the same tourment from others as I did when I was a child. But at the same time, I still feel like that same tourmented child. Still wanting to hide in the shadowns, dress in frumpy clothes, etc. I learned from previous experience, that no amount of weight loss will ever make me have this high self-esteem, this is a seperate issue (for me) and something I will have to build independently. But, I do want to look in the mirror and feel more comfortable in my own skin. I would love to go to a store (any store) and buy clothes that are a size 14 or Large, instead of a 20W.
So here I am. I'm not exactly sure what method I want to take. I know I have eating and exercise issues that I need to address and adjust. I was thinking about trying South Beach, but it seems too demanding. I do know for a fact that I can "go to town" on carbs, and that may be a large part of my difficulties. That's why I'm hoping that keeping a keen eye on my portion control can get the ball rolling. Well, I have talked a lot already. I wish everyone the best. Take it one day at a time. ~Tasha

Hi Tasha,
I'm new as well and posted almost the same exact thing. I hit my heaviest @ 360, but I was around 310 in high school. I remember being tormented relentlessly growing up. I know that people don't think that things you do and say to people when you are kids has any effect on others when they grow up, but it sure did me. I am 25 now. I had gastric bypass 2 years ago and now weigh around 197, I would love to lose more weight but have really been struggling lately with emotional eating and self esteem issues. I know exactly how you feel and I wish I knew the answer. Maybe together and with the help of others here we can move toward change. Sometimes its great just to discuss issues with people who are in the same boat and understand
Becky
Hi Tasha and welcome to the board :)