I'm learning...slowly (but I'm learnin!)
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| Tue, 08-16-2005 - 7:18pm |
Well, I haven't lost anything in the past month or so--I've even gained about 5 (maybe more :( ) pounds, but I feel like I'm finally in control. When I was on plan, I was ON--I always thought about my food and what I was going to eat and when and how I was going to make it through a weekend with Neil without going over. Then, when I wasn't on plan, I was OFF--I always thought about my food and what I was going to eat and when and how I was going to make it through a weekend with Neil without him noticing my overeating. Basically, I was in the same situation no matter what. I couldn't seem to find a happy middle ground.
Well, the past couple of weeks, I have been making half-hearted attempts to get back on plan, and I realize that 1) I haven't gained and 2) Food hasn't been controlling my every thought. I've kind of fallen into a comfortable relationship with food where I eat what I want and don't worry about it. Somehow, by giving myself that freedom, it has prevented my urge to overeat grossly.
Now, I want to start losing again, but this time, when I was thinking about my plans to lose weight, I didn't worry that Neil and I had french toast and sausage for dinner last night, or that we're having ribs one night this weekend and lasagna the next night. It seems that knowing that I will have these things makes it easier to stick with my healthy eating right now. I don't know if this plan will help me lose a lot of weight, but right now I am comfortable with my body and if I have to trade my size 12 goal for a healthy relationship with food, so be it. I think that developing a healthy relationship with food is the ultimate obstacle to losing weight; if I can achieve this, then I think that I will in turn lose the weight. And, I've also realized that I am finally ok with losing weight slowly--yeah, it would be nice to lose 3-4 lbs a week like I have in the past, but it's even nicer to enjoy a wonderful, relaxing dinner with those that I love without worrying about how to make up for my "indulgences" the next day.
I just thought I would share my "epiphany" with everyone and see if anyone else has had something like this happen to them.
Staci


Staci!
I completely agree with you about the home cooking and no more fast food Rely! That's actually part of what inspired this change in myself. Neil and I decided to cut back on our eating out and made a meal plan for the days we are together this week. It's a ton cheaper, and we get such better food. I mean, we are having ribs AND lasagna this weekend, all for less than the cost of a good ribs meal out! And, although neither of them is very healthy for you, I know that I can easily add healthier sides so that I do get some good for me foods, too, and they are both still better than McDonald's or Burger King.
I think that cutting out the fast food/restaurant meals will go a long way in helping me to lose weight, because Neil and I had gotten to the point where we were eating out an average of probably 3-4 times a week in restaurants, with another 1-2 meals at fast food places. When you eat at home and cook a big dinner, you usually have a lighter lunch, like a sandwich or something. I think that if we can just build a good relationship with food, the weight loss will come--I mean, decades ago, before fast food was popular and when restaurant meals were a rare treat, men and women managed to maintain a much healthier weight than we do now. They had big, home cooked meals on a regular basis, and yet they were not even close to being as big as most people are today, because they seemed to follow their bodies natural cues--you eat a big breakfast, then you don't eat as much for lunch, then you have a big dinner, but you don't pig out the rest of the night. I think I am going to try to follow that way of eating and see if it really does work :).
Staci
Staci: