Babysteps - week 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
Babysteps - week 2
8
Sun, 08-21-2005 - 9:58pm
Accept - one of the hardest things for many of us is accepting who we are now. If we’re not happy now, we won’t be happy when we’re 100lbs thinner. So for this portion of our challenge, I would like for us to take an inward look at who we are. What makes you a good person? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What are some good things about yourself? What are some not so good things? I’m not suggesting we will be accepting of ourselves after just one week, but I’m hoping with more work, and some serious soul searching, we might learn to appreciate who we are now, so that when we reach our goals, we’ll be set!
Here are some links to help you reach in and find your true happiness:
http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=1246272003
http://health.ivillage.com/mindbody/mbhappy/0,,808qp1gh,00.html

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 12:55pm

I accept myself until I look in the mirror and see what everyone else can see. I have a couple of very deceptive summer tops. I look down and I see a skinnier me. I even feel a skinnier me or at least my head feels a skinnier me.


But that is the outward appearance.


Inwardly I have been damaged! Yet at the same time the damaged part is me. I know I was born with a certain inner strength that many of my relatives envy, but what happened after I was born shaped me into the personality that I am now. I like me.


So what makes me a good person? Nothing that I ever did! My first inward reaction when I am wronged is to lash out, but then my strong beliefs and who I have become prevails and I react in kindness and love. LOVE, a word I could never use before.


What makes me happy? I have progressed beyond happy and now often feel true joy. This is another emotion that was so foreign to me as I grew up. Although I had fleeting happy moments, I rarely if ever felt joy deep in me. Now I can feel joy with a thought, with an instant of caring and it lasts. One of the things that creates long lasting joy in my year is when I volunteer as a camp counselor for a week in the summer. When I come home I am smiling, and that smile lasts for months. My kids say that the week at camp with over 80 teenagers relaxes me.


What makes me sad? Others being hurt. That has always made me truly sad. Especially children.


Good things about myself - I care about others, I want to help others, I have an inner strength as well as physical strength. I am able to make do with what I have.


The not so good things about me - I assess a person quickly and nitpick

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 6:10pm
Annette.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 12:16pm

So this is what I've discovered:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 12:49pm
I think many of us have those same feelings at some time or other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 3:01am

Kerstin, take shortcuts!! No woman is a super-perfect-woman. They just have a few tricks down their sleeves that's all. You want to be the perfect housekeeper? If you can afford it, hire help say twice a month (even teenagers are willing to do this, doesn't have to be professional agency or something). You'll find that regular mentainance of a clean house takes very little effort. Don't want the kids to miss on practice? Team up with another mom and take turns.

You're job is to GET THINGS DONE. Not to do everything by YOURSELF. Well, except with the weight loss thing. That's all up to YOU.

Believe me, nobody is perfect, even if they act this way. Stop selling yourself short.

Just my 2 cents

Mary
247/231/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 11:52am

My first reaction to your post was anger because you sound so down on yourself and then I realized I felt so strongly because because you hit a nerve. I spent most of my 30's down on myself and guilty for not being the mom and wife I thought I should be. I really believe those feelings led to my weight gain (was it a punishment???). Now in my 40's, I am seeing how great my daughter turned out (she's 22) and just celebrated my 24th wedding anniversary with a guy I would marry again in a heartbeat. I don't believe in regrets but if I could, I would re-live my 30's and enjoy my family more and focus less on my faults less.

This is a place you have to find your own way out of but I wish for you to let go of what you feel you haven't done right and see all the wonderful things your are doing for yourself and your family. LK

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 12:03pm

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!! You are so right! You're a wonderful person and friend and mother and daughter and sister, Kerstin!!! Just remember that!!!

dawn




Edited 8/24/2005 12:04 pm ET ET by two_kids
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 4:00pm

So true! In my 20's I was afraid of what others thought. In my 30's I was afraid of what I thought. Now in my 40's I just know better. Since I hit my 40's I have been able to sing on stage (20's fear) and