Desperately seeking support.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
Desperately seeking support.....
3
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 10:26am
HI Everyone,
I am Angela, 33 yrs old from Virginia. I am seeking insight, encouragement, support..I am at a desperate place & feel totally out of control & very very scared. I have struggled with weight my entire life, going up & down several times, but am now at my absolute heaviest & gaining. I am 5'5" & weigh 330lbs. I am struggling with severe depression, lack of motivation & self-hatred right now.I used to be very outgoing, social, & full of life, but now I am trapped in this mountain of fat. My joints ache constantly, I can't walk more than a little ways without being totally out of breath, & moving in general has become a real chore. It is affecting my ability to work, to live, everything. I am at the point now where phsically & emotionally I am exhausted. Mobility is starting to be a serious concern, as my stomach has become so large & heavy that it hangs down on my thighs & bending down is almost impossible. I visited an obesity specialist & was recommended for gastric bypass but my insurance will not cover it, even though I am morbidly obese. I need to lose almost 200lbs. I am very discouraged & honestly dont even know where to start. I have difficulty fitting into most chairs with arms, movie seats are getting harder & harder, as are booths. And recently I felt totally ashamed when I went to an amusement park & was turned away from a rollercoaster because the safety bar wouldnt close around my stomach. The thing is I am completely aware of the problem..I KNOW I have to do something or I will die, because I am continually gaining. But yet I don't know what is wrong with me because I keep eating like there is no tomorrow, going to the drive thru & ordering two whoppers with cheese at a time, etc. I feel disgusting, gross, & ugly. I hate to look in the mirror & am quickly outgrowing my size 28 clothes as well as some of my 30/32s. I need a friend who will be there to listen & encourage - someone who can understand the issues associated with being so obese - we can help each other. please, if you are or have been this heavy please email me at Msadh@aol.com. I would love email buddies as I dont know how often I will get to the board. Thanks so much in advance for any & all support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 11:14am

Hi there Angela and welcome to our board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 12:18pm

Hi Angela,

I know what you are going through...I weigh 306 lbs. I have the same joint/muscle pain as well. I was so happy when I found this board...it was the support I needed. I started posting on this board the 1st week of August. During the week I am here all the time.....a little less on the weekend (im working on that). If you can get here even once a day it will give you motivation, support, advice, etc. I personally use Weight Watchers because it fits my lifestyle (real food within limits). I also started working out at my gym. I suggest you start with small changes first. I know that Bally's Total Fitness offers a pedal bike that you put on the floor and exercise (it is low-impact). A very close friend of mine uses that who has alot of health problems and can hardly walk, she is overweight as well. I hope this helped and remember TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. You are worth this Angela you deserve to enjoy your life to the fullest!

GiGGles
312/306/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 6:31pm

Hi Angela.

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