Can I ever really do this once & for all

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2005
Can I ever really do this once & for all
2
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 8:15am

Hi everyone,

I haven't been here for a long time and my body is really confirming that! 2 1/2 years after my second baby and my weight has skyrocketed to somewhere around 240 pounds on a 5ft 2 inch frame.

When I see myself in the mirror, and needless to say I try never to do that, I want to die. Now, school for the kids is around the corner and I don't know if I can deal with the looks and the avoidance that the women in this town deal out to fat people like me. It will of course impact friendships for my two girls. And boy do I have a lot of guilt over that.

This entire summer, I prevented my girls from going to the town pool and having fun just because I'm so embarassed by how I look in a bathing suit.

I want to gain control back, but the stress of dealing with the social aspects of being a mom and the stress of my horrific marriage just seem so overwhelming. I know I eat to stuff back down how awful I feel and how sad I am.

I still have a small amount of hope though, that if I visit this board each and every day, no matter what, that maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to dig deep and find some small bit of power to overcome.

Phyl

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 9:44am
I feel for you in so many ways.. My advice is stay on the board
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:20am

Hi Phyl and boy do I hear you!