Do you feel sexy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Do you feel sexy?
24
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 4:40am

OK.. things have been a little slow in here lately, so I thought I might stir things up a little..

I know it's a pretty sensitive issue to talk about, but I also know it does pass our mind once in a while. I've seen hints about how we think of our sexuality in posts here and there, but we haven't really talked about it.

So? Shall we start a discussion?
Do you think your weight affects your sex life?

Mary
247/222/165

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 6:41am
Nope.. i feel like a big ol blimp.. but then again I am preggo though But i didnt feel like it before either.. I would always measure myself up to other woman saying I am bigger and blah blah I never ever think of myself as pretty sexy cute or anything just plain ol me.. Sex life? Hmm Nah cause hubby would want it every night if he could
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 8:24am

It absolutely affects my sex life. Not because of dh but because of me. I get so much more insecure when i am heavier. There are so many things he wants to do but i just cant bring myself to do it because of my own insecurities. Dh is patient and understanding however, i am sure he gets frustrated with me. There are just certain things i am not willing to do with the lights on at this weight that i would be more than happy to do and really enjoy doing, if i were 150 pounds versus 277 pounds.

Stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 9:20am

Well, we always have great sex but my weight does hold me back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2005
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 9:54am

okay first girls, I will tell my weight~hang on i gotta go weigh...okay i am at 290 give or take a few my scale only goes up to 270 and i passed that and it stoped on the 10 so im assuming thats a 290 for me then. any how I weigh more than josh (dh) either way.

DO I FEEL SEXY?

my weight does not hold me back in the slightest. I dont let it. If I did I would feel like a frump and thats just not me. I am the life of the party so to speak. The only thing that bothers me about my weight and im not kidding is the fact that heart problems run in my family and THERE ARE NOOOOOOO CUTE CLOTHES..i've prolly got a lot in common with cl-relydria(girrrrrrrrrllll i love to shop) If i did let it stop my sex life josh would notice and then he would look at me as fat...right not he doesnt act like he sees the fat because i dont acknoledge it ! pardon me hope i dont offend anyone... I still get on top... we still try new stuff new positions. I would have lights on if we needed to (street light outside the bedroom window)

I think that a person gets back what they give off. like if you act like a "B" to someone, someone will be a "B" to you...if i act like im "FAT" ppl treat me like im "FAT" If I act like I am not letting it hold me back and I am just as active as the other moms and wifes that are 129 pouns and I make an effort to look good in MY skin then ppl dont notice that im "fat" or at least they dont acknoledge it...cause I dont !! the only time that i act "fat" is that moment i step on the scale and how i act "fat" then is cause for a split seccond I throw a pity party...but then tosha kicks in and I get back on it and I do the best and make the best decisions eating and exercise wise so next time I will look down at that scale it will show my progress and that alone will fuel my fire !

try it some time when you get up in the morning put your makeup on and do your hair and put you on the cutiest outfit you have (even if it is some old pants that are worn to the hills and a cute fitted black shirt...put it on !!! feel good about what you wear. Some thing else i do, I go and buy all those sexy panties..i wear thongs shhhhhhhh and match my bras... i never where panty and bra that dont match..if ive got on ol'whitie i will where a white thong...im always matchin so when dh is ready Im ready and confidant that I am cute in my lil pantie and bra... spray you body spray all over you body befor you get dressed and feel the mist hit your skin...feel comfy in your own skin embrace what you have now so you can appriciat what youre going to have next month next week next year.

if you feel sexy in your skin...you will radiate sexiness...its called "sex appeal"

hit me back if this helped anyone or made sence at all

Avatar for airlily
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 11:04pm

Meh... relative term, relative concept, relative importance.... ^^'

No matter what weight I am, though, I'm always told I'm "cute." Maybe it's my persona? Meh. As long as I'm independent, and have something I can call my own that no one else can take away, I don't think I care too much. Even thin, I was a conservative dresser, and believed in the grade and the pay before the look. ^^!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 3:40am

Girl, Salutes to you!!!

Mary
247/220(yes!)/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 4:35am

OK.. to reply to the question..

I definitely don't think of myself as sexy. I thought I was sexy at 165 and that was only 2 years ago. So comparing that to the blob I am now, it is definitely not sexy. At least in my eyes it is not.

But once we start doing it, I don't really care. I get wild. The light is on, I don't cover up, we try any position we like.. and we enjoy it. And we have great sex..

but the problem is with the frequency of it. Before, it is me that initiated sex. I am the wild one in the relationship. Not that he's not interested, he just loves me to start teasing, then he'd jump in. But I don't do this anymore. I don't feel like I am a cute/sexy/wild female that can tease. So we only do it when HE starts. That brings it down to once a week roughly (and sometimes less). Of course the baby is another factor influencing this.

So I guess it's all in my head? I donno..

Mary
247/220(yes!)/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2005
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:12am

HAHAHA I just wish that all of us on here could feel this way about the body we are in today that way when we get to goal we will be more confidant and have a hold on who we are we wont be lost and have to try to find a new personality

i lost weight the wrong way once i ate only one meal at 500 cal and went from a 22 to a 12 in 3 months and i couldnt be me anymore ppl especially women took me the wrong way. like for insance. if i was a 22 and joked with a male friend it was "funny tosha" but when i was a 12 and joked with a male friend i was automatically FLIRTING! it was very hard to be "skinny tosha" she had to be a different person......does this make sence

any how

thanks for the compliment. btw im tosha..yahoo at toshiacopas0413

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2005
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:22am

Girl...please !

I too am the "wild" one here...have you hear the song "good lil girl make some mighty wild women" that is meeeeeeeeee!

and I have come to realize that guys for the most part are LAZY individuals when it comes to sex they just want to lay there and let us work (nice way to get a workout i must say) hahahaha....

after brock josh was terrified to have sex...im not kidding we almost went to see a doctor. He could deal with the fear of having a nother baby so soon. that is what his problem was and i was on birthcontroll and he had his protection with both in use he was still afraid... i thought it was cause i hadnt lost the baby fat but NO it was a fear of his.... and its like this right here.....like my other post.....if you feel sexy in you own skin he wont be able to resist....lol

hope i dont offend any one here....if you got virgin/concervitive eyes please skroll over.........

on night...get started with out him and see what he does then......feel sexy while you do and see his responce... you'll be suprised..........

tosha

then again if thats not the kinda ppl you all are he might laugh at ya either way it will open the door for a sex descussion and talking about sex is always a good way to see and hear what he wants and needs from you

Avatar for brens2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 9:34am
Yes,my weight affects my sex life.When I was at my heaviest I didn't want sex at all...and I felt so unattractive that I would never get nekked in front of my husband.45 lbs.(give or take a few)lighter and I am feeling much more confident with my body,so I'm feeling sexy and wanting to be intimate with my husband more often.There are still parts of my body that I'd rather hide completely for now...but I really try to not let it bother me.Of course,having closet doors made from mirrors doesn't help!

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