Time to kickstart myself?
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| Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:28am |
Hi, I'm Carin and I have a little story to share. Yesterday, I was supposed to have an MRI done on my back, but when they rolled me into the tube, it was too tight and they had to cancel the test (they better not bill me or my insurance company for any charges!). It made me annoyed and embarrassed. Annoyed because they had taken my weight and should have known and embarrassed because it felt like "Sorry you're too fat for our machine, flake off." So I got scheduled for an open air MRI, and I'm thinking "why didn't you just do that in the first place?" I guess procedures they gotta go through. But, ya know, it's 2 hours wasted for me yesterday and then I get to do it again next week and lose another 2 hours or so of sick time from work.
So, I'm 35, 5'8" and from the weigh in and the hospital yesterday, I'm at 293lbs. I've known for the longest time that I need to lose weight. My husband tries to get me do home exercises (because up until recently he's been out of work and we couldn't afford a health club membership), but they do nothing for me. Plus all I want to do when my husband tries to get me to do HIS improvised exercise program is glare daggers at him and tell him to flake off. And I don't want to be mad at my husband.. I'd rather have a trainer that I have no personal connections w/ at all. And I'd rather have a trainer who knows what the hell he or she is talking about. When my husband tells me that walking doesn't matter as much as exercising, then I know he's a fool (love him that I do).
But, while I know I need to lose the weight it has just not been a priority for me. The only thing that my mind has been set on is getting pregnant and having a baby. Nothing else has mattered to me. Before my husband and I started trying again, I was taking Trimspa (only for a short time, so not enough time to make any difference), but I stopped taking them when I started trying to get pregnant.
My husband and I are going to join a health club again and hopefully this time we'll actually find the motivation we need to go regularly. But I'm just not willing to give up having a baby now, so I hope I can balance the two. If I was 5 years younger, I could tell myself "we can wait another year." I don't feel like I have that luxury now and I don't want to wait another year (tho it might take that long to happen w/ the luck I have). Yep, I know women are having children later in life now and that's great, but I don't want to wait til I'm 40-something before having my first kid. Geena Davis I'm not.
Btw, my husband is not overweight--he added a few extra lbs while he wasn't working, but he's skinny so its probably a good thing for him. Anyway, time for me to head off to work, so good day everyone.
The greatest gift of all is to love someone and be loved in return.
Happily married as of July 4, 2003




GOOD Luck!
Susan