depressed about sisters comment

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
depressed about sisters comment
9
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 1:12am

Okay, so I started my real diet the other day. Today I weighed and saw that I've lost 4 pounds (water) and I was so happy. I emailed my sister right away, cause I was so happy. (She has always been skinny and tall, and basically model like, but she thinks she's fat and is always trying to lose more.) And she emails me back saying that she's jealous, and not to take everything from her. I know my sister loves me, but what do you do when your family tries to make you feel bad for helping yourself? What can you say to them to help them understand? I don't want to be the FAT one anymore, making everyone else look good by comparison. I really am upset. I'm so glad there's no ice cream here, cause I'd be eating out of the carton right now.

Okay, thanks for letting me vent here and not in the ice cream.:-)

Lady Jewel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 7:47am
Congratulations on your weightloss! I think all of us who need to lose weight tend to be the ones who are the emotional cores of our relationships. While it is wonderful to be there for other people, often when we need the support of the others in our lives, there is usually no one there for us. That's why these boards are so beneficial. They are a safe and supportive place for us to share triumphs, struggles and tips. While I am sure your sister meant well, she mostly can't relate to what you are going through. So stay strong and give yourself a pat on the back for sticking to your goals. Keep up the good work!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 9:57am

Congrats on the weight loss.

Gee whiz, i cant imagine my sister saying something like that. To be honest, i think i would ask her how she can be so selfish and self-centered. That is amazing, although unfortunately pretty common. I think oprah has even had shows about how unsupportive family and friends can be when you lose weight. I would ask her out for coffee or have her over and discuss with her how hurtful that statement was and explain to her how rude it is of her to basically tell you that it is worth it for you to die young due to diseases like heart disease, diabetes, etc, all because she wants to be the "better looking one". Surely she hasnt thought of it that way. But she needs to realize...it is not just skin deep...it is a real health risk to be overweight like we are. She should love having you around more than she loves being "the skinny one".

Shame on her and praise to you for not binging because of her.
stacy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 4:44pm
Yay! 4 pounds is an awesome beginning. Even if it is water weight. That just means you are starting to get enough water in your system. Good for you. I know how you feel about unsupportive family members. I sometimes let my family get the better of me. Many a bag of chips has been there when my family just wants to be "beautiful" and "skinny". I am trying my best to overcome that, and do what is healthy for me, not just what makes me feel better for the moment. Good luck to you.
Katherine
(362.8/360.6/140)
Avatar for airlily
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 10:55pm

Since you've gotten a lot of mature responses, here's an immature one:

If that's what your sister meant, then to hell with your sister. Email the woman back and say "Yeah, looks were all you ever really had, huh? Awwww... tough #%^&! Start getting some brains and maybe we'll be halfway even -- maybe."

Sometimes when people crap on my parade, I like it when my friends crap all over the offender. I thought maybe you'd like that, too. :)

Four pounds! Go you! Woohoo!

Renee
298/259/155

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2005
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 12:48pm
Congrats on your weight loss. Water or fat, it's still a victory in my book. I can understand where you are coming from. I have an older sister (who I'm not close to for various reasons), she is not model thin, but she has always been significantly smaller than me. She had lost about 40 lbs to go into the Navy Reserves, and her attitude was even worse. Eventhough she has never said anything directly to me, he comments about people (like people being fat and nasty) are very offensive. I can almost imagine the comments behind my back. The few times that we have gone out, she will wear skimpy clothes and do things to broadcast herself and show off her nicer figure. It's like she only goes out with me, when she wants to feel better about herself. I try to act like it doesn't bother me. If I believe a person is intentionally doing things to hurt my feelings, it will only make matters worse if they know that it hurts me. I try to use those feelings as motivation. I know this sounds petty, but after my sister had her baby, the sight of her in the hospital bed after she had gained a significant amount of weight sure made me feel better. She always acts as if she's invincible, but she has the tendency to put on weight just like the rest of the family. I know she is probably back to her normal, smaller self by now, but I keep that mental image in my head for safe keeping. So, turn that negative into a positive and use it for motivation! Keep up the good work :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 3:08pm

Christmas Signature
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 4:42pm

Congrats on your loss so far!

 
Avatar for airlily
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2004
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 1:10am

LOL Why thank you. I've had my fill of people in my life not supporting me, so this post hit home.

Renee
298/259/155

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 3:51am

Congrats on the weight loss!! 4 lbs in an awesome start!!

I'm sorry but I had to laugh when I read about your sister. Looks like she's still trapped in high school. I feel pity for people who still think like that. People who still think: "I am glad my friend is wearing an ugly dress so I can look good" (I've actually heard this one out loud in a wedding yesterday).

Anyways, don't ever let this discourage you. If she's not mature enough to know that improving your health AND looks is a good thing for you and that is not directed as an attach on her(!), then it's HER problem. Lose wight girl and make her turn green!!

Mary
247/216/165