Wakeup Call

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2005
Wakeup Call
12
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 1:31am

Gosh. Just when I think I know it all, my mom visits.

I showed her, my grandmother and my husband a picture of me when I was at 115 pounds, at a point I used to think I was at a good weight. The last few times I've looked at it, I see decidedly too much in the thigh area. I showed it to them for their opinion. Their first response was "Gosh, you were so skinny then! I didn't remember you being so skinny!"

That was, of course, both flattering and depressing. If I looked skinny in a picture, take ten pounds off for reality there. But then, it showed that they only remember me as fat, which is a bummer.

Then, the more my mom looked at it the more she agreed that I was still a bit too plump in the picture. Everyone but my diet-hating husband agreed that I should be right at 100 pounds to look good, from about 95-105 tops.

That kind of crushes my former plans to goal at 103 and rest easy even if I gained back to 110. Because at 115 I was a plump little thing. So, this spill was to document and offer explanation why my goal weight is now being moved from 103 to 95.

By the way, hi to all you new folks. When I have more time I'll get to know you.

April a.k.a. Zeverai
(233/227/95)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 2:11am

95???

Lady Jewel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 7:32am
Yes, I was thinking the same as Julie. You must be really short. I look a pictures when I was 170 and would be happy to be there again!! Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 4:50pm

April..I echo what the other two have said..95 pounds is just too small for most people. Besides, once you start building muscle, you will weigh more than you look because muscle is heavier than fat. Do what works for you, no one else!

Kate
261/252/145

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 8:21pm

Hey. Thanks for your concern, you two who posted. I'm 5'2", but under all this flub I'm real petite and fineboned. I can't tolerate much excess weight due to that and due to being short. Plus, most of my height is legs; I hardly have any torso height at all. I'd scan in the pic of when I was 115 so you guys could see I was still chubby then, but it's one of those tiny little pictures from Six Flags that they put under a tunneled magnifying glass for viewing. Couldn't scan it or anything; it's a real squint just to see it at all.

Anyway. Like I told my folks, there's a long way between where I'm at and 95 pounds, and if I get to 110 and look okay I can always stop. But it's been our speculation that I'd be about right at 95, and the charts I've seen online put an ideal for my height at around 100-120.

It's not for my mom, she dislikes me and would prefer I stay fat really. I'm just tired of feeling so self conscious and I know that I'm unhealthy. I own my own business, and I always wonder how much better I might do if people found me attractive instead of seeing some fat girl walking in. It's awkward, too, since my product is an all natural, health conscious alternative type thing and here I am over 200 pounds telling people how concerned I am about my health. I've never been one to overeat, but they don't know that. I guess when people see me they envision me with a bag of potato chips and a coke. Oh well. I look forward to the day I can be more confident and more openly received.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 8:25pm
Hey there. Let me point out that in the pic of when I was 115 and still chubby, that was at a point in my life that I was EXTREMELY active, training and showing my three horses. Most fitness trainers don't get as much exercise as I'd been getting for the past five or so years prior to and after that time. So if anything, I'll have less muscle once I lose the weight this time, and might have to weight less than 115 to get the same appearance I had there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 9:38pm

I'm so glad you replied back.

Lady Jewel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 12:20am

Sorry if you felt I was being critical, I just like to barge in. :) I know how you feel about your job..being a nurse, it's kind of tough to talk to people about being healthy when they can look at me and think, "yeah, right. She's one to talk!"

Kate
261/252/145

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 6:24pm
Hi, You think you have problems. I'm close to 300 lbs. You think you're family looks at you as a blimp, imagine being my weight, everyone stares at me. I guess I'm used to it, I do look blimplike, my belly is massive, I'd be happy to fit into a size 20 again. I have a very hard time bending over, (too much fat in the way) when I sit I have to spread my legs open so I can rest my stomach on the chair. when I was smaller, I had rolls of fat, now I have a big roll in front, and many rolls in the back. I want to hear from you, maybe you can motivate me to slim down. Say anything you want, I want you to be honest. Maybe it will help me. thanks so much, please be honest with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
In reply to: zeverai
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 4:10am

It has to come from within you. YOU should want to lose the weight. If you're not ready, or still thinking: "I should lose weight" rather than "I want to lose weight", then nothing can be said will motivate you. You need to find YOUR motivation.. the thing that makes you click.

Mary
247/214/165

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2005
In reply to: zeverai
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 7:06am
I hope you can find the motivation it takes to get started and stick with it. I just got started. I weighed 267 lbs. at only 5'5". I am finally starting to lose weight for the first time in years, 11 lbs. so far, and it feels great. The fear of failure and disappointment at not seeing immediate results always made me give up just when I got started. Do whatever you can, even if it's baby steps. I'll be here if you need someone to talk to!

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